Paul Bearer/Funny: Difference between revisions

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Latest revision as of 05:59, 11 September 2021

When you have the walking, talking High Octane Nightmare Fuel in the form of The Undertaker, you're going to need the walking, talking Crowning Moment of Funny in the form of Paul Bearer to accompany him in order to cancell it out.

Paul and The Undertaker giving gaming tips for WWF RAW for Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis. How Taker managed to keep a straight face through this one, I'll never know.
- You'll notice he went to great lengths to make his face completely invisible behind his hair for this.
Paul inviting viewers into his home for a tour. Bloody Mary, anyone?
Paul Bearer's afraid of snakes? Who knew?
In this segment, he gives Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan a basic (and rather funny) walkthrough of his profession. (Of course, being a mortician in Real Life, he actually knows what he's talking about here)
Paul Bearer taunts Hulk Hogan with a casket.

Paul Bearer: Oh YES, Mr. Hogan, this fine casket is made of the FINEST MATERIALS on the OUTSIDE, AS WELL AS THE INNNNNNNNNNSIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEE!

Paul being forced by Shawn Michaels to wrestle The Big Show. Between Paul's terrified squeals and the commentators' snarky remarks, it's hard to decide which is funnier.

Paul Bearer: I'M NOT A WRASSLER! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!! I'M NOT A WRASSLER!!!
Jerry Lawler: He looks like a beached whale!

Paul being abducted by Edge in order to torment Kane. In the meantime, Edge proceeds to torture Paul in a variety of ways, including racing around with him, dumping food on him, and playing dodgeball with him.

Paul Bearer: BASTARDS! BASTARDS!! BASTARDS!!!

Pick a promo with Paul Bearer. Any promo with Paul Bearer. No matter what the situation, you're guaranteed to be entertained.
Hell, even during the matches, Paul can clearly be seen having a scenery snack on the sidelines.
Paul covertly giving Sherri Martel the finger on primetime television. (Starts at 3:08)

Paul Bearer: Ohhhh, Miss Sherri! You look so lovely, so happy, so alive! Have you been to a funeral?

Who would want to rape Paul Bearer at ringside? Goldust, that's who!
Paul mentions having had "contact" with The Undertaker (whatever that means), then, when Taker makes his presence known, starts acting like Brother Love on crack.
Taker and Paul on the review panel. Every second of it.

Vince McMahon: (addressing the viewers) You don't want to miss Body Stars!
Paul Bearer: (clutches Vince's hand) Oooooh, bodies?!
(awkward silence)

Taker and Paul wish Helen Hart a happy birthday over the phone. Pity they didn't do it in person.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{work}}
+{{creator}}
 When you have the walking, talking [[High Octane Nightmare Fuel]] in the form of [[The Undertaker]], you're going to need the walking, talking [[Crowning Moment of Funny]] in the form of [[Paul Bearer]] to accompany him in order to cancell it out.
 ----
-* Paul and [[The Undertaker]] giving [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b97vomTaIzg gaming tips] for ''[[WWE|WWF]] [[WWE Raw|RAW]]'' for [[Super Nintendo]] and [[Sega Genesis]]. How Taker managed to keep a straight face through this one, I'll never know.
+* Paul and [[The Undertaker]] giving [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b97vomTaIzg gaming tips] for ''[[World Wrestling Entertainment|WWF]] [[WWE Raw|RAW]]'' for [[Super Nintendo]] and [[Sega Genesis]]. How Taker managed to keep a straight face through this one, I'll never know.
 ** You'll notice he went to great lengths to make his face completely invisible behind his hair for this.
 * Paul inviting viewers into his home for a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hu68yTfNfKg tour]. Bloody Mary, anyone?
@@ Line 10: / Line 10: @@
 * In [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siYb3k_gZ0g this] segment, he gives [[Vince McMahon]] and [[Bobby Heenan]] a basic (and rather funny) walkthrough of his profession. (Of course, being a mortician in [[Real Life]], he actually knows what he's talking about here)
 * [[Paul Bearer]] taunts [[Hulk Hogan]] with a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeNBnC8nO1A casket].
-{{quote| '''[[Paul Bearer]]:''' [[Large Ham|Oh YES, Mr. Hogan, this fine casket is made of the FINEST MATERIALS on the OUTSIDE, AS WELL AS THE INNNNNNNNNNSIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEE!]]}}
+{{quote|'''[[Paul Bearer]]:''' [[Large Ham|Oh YES, Mr. Hogan, this fine casket is made of the FINEST MATERIALS on the OUTSIDE, AS WELL AS THE INNNNNNNNNNSIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEE!]]}}
 * Paul being forced by [[Shawn Michaels]] to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyMOF4nX8zc wrestle] [[The Big Show]]. Between Paul's terrified squeals and the commentators' snarky remarks, it's hard to decide which is funnier.
-{{quote| '''[[Paul Bearer]]:''' I'M NOT A WRASSLER! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!! I'M NOT A WRASSLER!!!<br />
+{{quote|'''[[Paul Bearer]]:''' I'M NOT A WRASSLER! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!! I'M NOT A WRASSLER!!!
 '''[[Jerry Lawler]]:''' He looks like a beached whale! }}
-* Paul being abducted by [[Edge]] in order to torment [[Wrestler/Kane|Kane]]. In the meantime, [[Edge]] proceeds to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBWVGiNnRE8 torture] Paul in a variety of ways, including [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG7EDnxt2Qs racing around with him], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwDKRVvtOKM dumping food on him], and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk7ALX5_nRs playing dodgeball with him].
+* Paul being abducted by [[Edge]] in order to torment [[Kane (wrestling)|Kane]]. In the meantime, [[Edge]] proceeds to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBWVGiNnRE8 torture] Paul in a variety of ways, including [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG7EDnxt2Qs racing around with him], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwDKRVvtOKM dumping food on him], and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk7ALX5_nRs playing dodgeball with him].
-{{quote| '''[[Paul Bearer]]:''' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHPvpl0YHJo BASTARDS! BASTARDS!! BASTARDS!!!]}}
+{{quote|'''[[Paul Bearer]]:''' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}kHPvpl0YHJo BASTARDS! BASTARDS!! BASTARDS!!!]}}
 * Pick a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBTGdYmWVZA promo] with [[Paul Bearer]]. ''Any'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gyopu0NQGNk promo] with [[Paul Bearer]]. No matter what the situation, you're guaranteed to be entertained.
 * Hell, even [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpTTNPUjRCI during] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM2-Zj-RkSk the] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChEdSymhFr8 matches], Paul can clearly be seen [[Chewing the Scenery|having a scenery snack]] on the sidelines.
 * Paul covertly giving Sherri Martel [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIY1I9GcGlo the finger] ''on primetime television''. (Starts at 3:08)
-{{quote| '''[[Paul Bearer]]:''' Ohhhh, Miss Sherri! You look so lovely, so happy, so ''alive''! Have you been to a funeral?}}
+{{quote|'''[[Paul Bearer]]:''' Ohhhh, Miss Sherri! You look so lovely, so happy, so ''alive''! Have you been to a funeral?}}
 * Who would want to rape [[Paul Bearer]] at ringside? [[Goldust]], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP8MsO383Mc that's who!]
 * Paul mentions having had [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Op-vDnUS8kc "contact"] with [[The Undertaker]] (whatever that means), then, when Taker makes his presence known, starts acting like Brother Love on crack.
 * Taker and Paul on the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96NDpKs4DwM review] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tzdAOFrgA8 panel]. Every second of it.
-{{quote| '''[[Vince McMahon]]:''' (addressing the viewers) You don't want to miss ''Body Stars''!<br />
+{{quote|'''[[Vince McMahon]]:''' (addressing the viewers) You don't want to miss ''Body Stars''!
-'''[[Paul Bearer]]:''' (clutches Vince's hand) Oooooh, bodies?!<br />
+'''[[Paul Bearer]]:''' (clutches Vince's hand) Oooooh, bodies?!
 (awkward silence)  }}
 * Taker and Paul [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDaAkdl3d1I wish Helen Hart a happy birthday over the phone]. Pity they didn't do it in person.