The Boat

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Amazingly, It Gets Worse.

Eight bells and all's NOT well. —opening title

Family man Buster Keaton wants to take his brood on a cruise in his homemade boat, but first he has to get it out of the basement and afloat, and then...HilarityEnsues.

"The Boat" can be viewed at Google Video.

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"The Boat" contains examples of:

• Angst What Angst: Buster & Family are seemingly unmoved by the destruction of their house.
• Brick Joke: Just before the boat is launched, we see its name painted on the prow: "Damfino." Guess what's the punchline to the whole film?
• Bumbling Dad
• Cool Boat: The masts and smokestack of the Damfino are collapsible, for passing under low bridges.
• Crowning Moment of Funny: The newly launched Damfino sinks like a stone, Buster standing in the bow the whole time. (Possibly the inspiration for Captain Jack Sparrow's entrance in Pirates of the Caribbean.)
• Curious As a Monkey
• Death By Materialism: Averted -- Buster cuts the rope between his boat and his car (which is towing the boat) and lets the car fall into the harbor to save one of his sons from being crushed. He hesitates, though.
• Didn't Think This Through
  • Getting the boat out of the basement. See picture.
  • Driving nails into the hull below the waterline.
  • Drilling a hole in the bottom of the boat to let the water out.
• Distress Call
• Double Take
• Dragged By the Collar: Mostly the pants' seat variant.
• Dutch Angle: Used to depict the Damfino going uphill.
• Epic Fail
• Fade to Black
• Fake Action Prologue: We open below decks on a storm-tossed boat -- wait, no we don't.
• Going Down With the Ship
• Grievous Bottley Harm: The wife's first attempt to christen the Damfino leaves the bottle intact and the keel dented.
• Harmless Electrocution
• Help I'm Stuck: Buster accidentally lowers a smokestack over one of his sons.
• Human Ladder: Buster acts as one for his son as they're trying to climb back on board the Damfino.
• Hollywood Darkness
• Iconic Item: When The Hat floats past after the sinking of the Damfino, Buster's wife and kids bow their heads in mourning.
• Instant Convertible: Subverted -- the Damfino was built with collapsible masts and smokestack.
• Irony: See Super Drowning Skills, below. Also, the anchor floats.
• It Got Worse: First, extracting the boat from the basement destroys the house. Then, the car goes in the water. Then the boat sinks during its launch. Then a storm hits while the family is aboard. Then one of the boys pulls the plug of the bathtub the family is using as a lifeboat...
• It Was a Dark And Stormy Night
• Law of Disproportionate Response: Buster seems far more perturbed by the loss of his lifeboat (which he promptly replaces with a bathtub) than the collapse of his house.
• Lethal Chef: The pancakes are too tough to cut, and Buster uses one to patch a hole in the hull.
• Memetic Outfit: How do we know those two boys are Buster's sons? Their hats match his.
• Murphy's Bed: Actually, a Murphys Bunk.
• Not Quite Dead
• Painted Tunnel, Real Train: Evoked when Buster nails a seascape to the cabin wall and water begins running out from beneath.
• Ribbon Cutting Ceremony: Specifically, a ship christening, complete with bottle. It goes as well as everything else involving the boat.
• Slapstick
• The Stoic: Buster, while Going Down With the Ship.
• Stop Drowning and Stand Up
• Super Drowning Skills: The boat, at least at first. Also the life preservers.
• Time Skip: Lampshaded by a title card that reads Ten seconds later.
• Together in Death: Averted when the family realizes they can Stop Drowning and Stand Up.
• Trash the Set
• Unfortunate Names: Damfino, when it's time to send an S.O.S.
• Visual Pun: One of the sons pulls the plug on the family's attempt to escape drowning.
• You Fail Physics Forever: At one point, the river they're sailing on literally runs uphill.