Bears are Bad News/Quotes
And, ladies and gentlemen, the number one threat to America... BEARS!
—Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report
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"That's a scary-ass bear! That's, like, a Jaws-sized bear! That's not even a bear. That's like a monster bear. What the fuck..." |
Don't try to outrun one of Dominaria's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.
—Flavour Text for the Magic the Gathering card Grizzly Bears; and they're pretty mediocre, as bears go
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Spike: A bear! You made a bear! |
"You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy."
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> —/v/'s most common variation of the FUCKING GAMESTOP meme.
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But then you begin to realize how large they are. And you begin to realize that, awkward or not, they are very fast. And you begin to realize that you are puny, pathetic, weak and insignificant. You begin to realize that this bear, this rolling, shaggy, unstoppable monster, can kill you from the mere impact of his shoulder hitting you.
—Ax on Rachel's favourite combat morph, Animorphs, 'The Experiment'
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"Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'"
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Kathleen: “I just have this completely rational fear of bears.” —Loading Ready Run, from the episode OMG! Bears!
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Battle bears? B E A R S?
—George Takei, Command and Conquer Red Alert 3 outtakes, has the idea of the War Bear explained to him.
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"Bears are crazy, Willie. They'll bite your head if you're wearing steak on it."
—Space Ghost, Space Ghost Coast to Coast
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Bear? Is the bear back? We've already lost one intern!
—Bridgette, Total Drama World Tour, "Aftermath Aftermayhem"
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"He's like a bear! He's like a big shaved bear that hates people!"
—The Scout, describing the Heavy
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"Acid was always my favorite drug. When we would do acid, we'd go out into the woods, because there was less chance of running into an authority figure--but we ran into a bear, and that was an even bigger buzzkill..."
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"Number one, it's a bear. Number two, it's a bear. Number three, and probably most important... HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT'S A GODDAMNED BEAR!" |
-- Nash, pointing out the flaws in a man's crazed attempt to murder his ex-girlfriend.