Concrete, Bulletproof, Invisible and Fried/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Connelly's Imagine Spot of what Al Jourgensen might be like:

Like Gerard Depardieu in a leather duster coat and acting like a giant, pompous intellectual Belgian.

  • Connelly's second visit to the United States:

Al was sitting in the kitchen on a rowing machine and wearing a jauntily placed toy Viking helmet on his head. He was purple-faced and screaming the usual Jourgensen volley down the phone.

His name conjured up visions of a renegade from some dreadful "sword in a stone" fantasy. He was a shy one; polite, likeable... He was nothing like the Renaissance Faire jousting troll I had imagined.

  • On Front242:

They had cornered part of the dancefloor occupied by a lot of people who were too frightened to admit they were in love with Depeche Mode and liked to play at soldiers.

  • One of the first Revolting Cocks gigs:

Luc, done up head to toe in leather, looked like someone fired from the set of Cruising for eating all the catering. With Luc's leather cap, and Al and I's shaved heads, when the three of us were singing "TV Mind", we couldn't have looked any more gay.

  • Al's mocking of Richard 23:

Al and I shared much of the lead vocal duties, Al doing a bang-up impression of Richard 23. He had spent so much time mocking him during rehearsals that when it came time for him to sing "We Shall Cleanse the World", he sounded just like the record: "We had no toime to seenk about it!!!"

  • About an interview with MTV:

I remember Al being Al, Ogre being silent and Martin being pompous-- his interviews always made him sound like a Time Lord elder from Doctor Who, or worse, Davros, Creator of the Daleks.

  • Connelly and Tucker get bored and, with the help of a screwdriver, dismantle everything in their hotel room.
  • A long-missing Al suddenly re-appears at a soundcheck for a gig the Revolting Cocks are playing with Killing Joke on New Years' Eve:

Al was dressed head-to-toe in a pure white formal cowboy suit, complete with an insanely large Stetson with a brim that practically filled the theatre. He looked the nightmare offspring of Cher and J.R. Ewing. To say he was in a bad mood would be like saying Genghis Khan was an interfering busybody. He stood, purple-faced on the Vic stage, pointing in the direction of either band members or equipment screaming, "YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS!!!" ... No, he didn't really, he just kept yelling, "Guitar: Unacceptable! Keyboards: unacceptable! UNACCEPTABLE!!!" I really wanted to chime in quietly, "Stupid hat: unacceptable", but it was neither the time nor the place.

  • On the girl Ogre brought along with him on the first Pigface tour:

A strange purple-haired skeleton with a shrieking voice. She was quickly dubbed Skeletor by the ever-affable Raven.

  • Pranks on a Pigface tour:
    • We started knocking on his (the tour manager's) door and running away, calling his room and hanging up from a payphone by the pool as he tried to sleep/cower and best of all, telling him that there were a lot of cops in the hotel lobby. We also regularly asked him for money because this was certain to make his lose his temper and could end up in a chase around a motel or a club parking lot, "I AM GONNA KICK (wheeze) YOUR SCRAWNY SCOTTISH ASS, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"
    • In a display of compassion and friendly concern, Tucker and I covered Ogre's comforter with hundreds of tiny plastic spiders while he was off the bus one day, in order to lend credence to whatever paranoid delusions and hallucinations he may have been suffering... we're here for ya, pal!
  • A drunk William Tucker attempts to come onto a businesswoman in the seat next to him on a plane. Instead...

Before we had become airborne, Tucker's head was all the way back, mouth wide open, snoring like a drunk rhino.

Retrieved from "https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Concrete,_Bulletproof,_Invisible_and_Fried/Funny?oldid=1725076"