Cracked.com/Funny: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 20:04, 23 March 2014
- A Fly on the Wall Look at the Cracked.com Christmas Party. Especially when Seanbaby makes the scene:
- The Most Horrifying Writers Room Ever.
- 100 Unintentionally Hilarious Spam Subject Lines.
- I nominate A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever [1]
- The Sex Offender Shuffle.
- Cracked Topics on dongs.
- Cracked's list of posters for possible movies based on websites. Guess which site was #1.
- Revisiting Old-School Text Adventures as a Jaded Modern Gamer
- Most of The 7 Most Retarded Criminal Excuses of all Time is hilarious, but number 1 in particular stands out: Someone tied pot around their dick and tried to smuggle it into prison. When the police found it, he said that it was simply "a misunderstanding".
- Frosty the Snowman declares War on the War on Christmas. Crosses so many lines it looks like the Snarl.
- I nominate Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3. Basically, Seanbaby creates a nightmarish world for one fat, hydrophobic Sim and watches as madness slowly takes over. What really kills it is the final experiment:
- The 17 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Propaganda Posters mights seriously be the funniest thing this troper has ever read. Number 13 in particular. . . "If this were a smoking ad, you wouldn't be reading this right now because your dad would have died of lung cancer when he was 11."
- Number 13 is the image for Public Service Announcement. Now try to look at it the same after reading their interpretation: "If the ghost of chalk Hitler is so pleased by people driving alone, why does he look so terribly sad? Maybe because the stone cold pimp in the driver's seat just made him watch while his dick played hopscotch with the ghost of chalk Eva Braun."
- And Number 1. It's a poster trying to promote peace between Taiwan and China... depicting a bunch of nubile Asian women in bikinis laying about. "Problem? Who said there's a problem? This is the best damn thing we've ever seen."
- Michael Bay Presents: Fishing.
- 6 Brilliant Inventions That Look Like Gag Gifts. The first item on the list is Powdered Water. The author mentions a classic joke email about Dumb Blonde Inventions, that features things like "solar-powered flashlight," "pedal-powered wheel chair" and, of course, "powdered water". But after the entry explains that powdered water, or rather "dry water", is a really useful thing, the author remarks "So we guess we should go looking for a pedal-powered wheelchair now?". Guess what's the next item on the list.
- 4 Great Sex Advice Books for People Who Hate Sex. Especially the last one.
- Put DOB, Swaim, and Abe Epperson in liveblog with a bunch of rambunctious commenters for an hour, and watch the chuckles pour in.
- For extra hilarity do it twice.
- 6 Movie Plots That Could Have Been Solved In Minutes, particularly #6.
- 32 insane movie ideas built on existing movie titles. Funniest. Photoshop. Contest. EVER.
- Even more hilarious is that one of those "ideas"- "Red Dawn Of The Dead" is actually a real unproduced script, not sure whether the Cracked writers knew about it or not, but it sure is an amazing coindidence, you can read it here: http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/reddawnofthedead.html
- The Sadness of Toy Story measured in Tears.
- Anything involving Popsicle Pete, the herald.
- If Every (famous) Person Got What They Deserved: the #3 entry? PRESIDENT Bruce Campbell.
- Speaking of celebrity presidents: 24 Things Other Countries Suspect About Life in America, the #9 entry: PRESIDENT Gary Busey, screaming at the top of his lungs while wearing a cowboy hat and playing Sudoku on presidential letterhead.
- Seanbaby's explanation for the Kool-Aid Man's wall-smashing tendencies: "He's a creature made entirely out of tap water, sugar and a pouch of carcinogens. His body can't decide whether it wants to evacuate its liquid, run as fast as it can or die, so he just charges the nearest building in a desperate attempt at all three."
- Also, from the Burger King entry:
Man: Holy shit! |
- From this article, starting with #6:
- After that,
- In # 5, we have:
- # 3
- The 6 Most WTF Special Edition Comics Ever Released
- Dear fucking lord, that encyclopedia is hilarious. To the people that doubt the hilarity of it, it's source of the trope And That's Terrible.
- Special mention should also go to #5 the Knight Gallery. There's nothing quite as amusing as looking at Batman's Fashion Journal.
- 10 Mustache Styles That Must Be Stopped. Especially number two, the 'Finger Mustache'. The Running Gag of this article is that people don't actually look as cool as they think they do when wearing these mustaches. This represented by showing one picture of what you think you look like (which shows an image of a cool or stylish person) and what you actually look like (accompanied by an image of a geeky or creepy person). In number two, it shows the picture of the Finger Mustache for the 'what you think you look like' category. For the 'what you actually look like' category, it shows a picture of a douche. Literally.
- The Robert Brockway article "5 Terrifying Things Movies Don't Tell You About Los Angeles", which is basically about how much Los Angeles sucks, includes a brief section on how jobs require you to have pretty headshots even when you're not going to be seen by the customers and Brockway posts a few of said headshots of his coworkers. Now, roughly half the comments are about how attractive Soren Bowie is , with many people apparently forgetting about the entire rest of the article.
- Liquor is the other lesbian mother of invention
- The 7 Best Kinds of Monkeys: A Drunk Column
- Cracked gives us the greatest break-up ballad ever.
- 6 Super Friends Villains That Didn't Give a @#%*. From the increasingly lower "Amount of a shit given in regards to physics and reason" to some of the madcap reimaginings of screencaps taken right from the show:
Astronaut 1: Oh Crap. This thing says the moon is hollow. |
- Hell, the actual quotes from the episodes are ridiculous:
Apache Chief: I can't believe it! A moon creature, as big as the-- |
- "Colossus, a Giant of Giants" summed up in two panels:
(Superman and Apache Chief are watching as the Earth gets absorbed by a gigantic, stringy gray beard) |
- A comment sums up all of it up perfectly:
What. The. Epic. Fuck? |
- The 5 Craziest War Stories (All Happened on the Same Ship). The entire thing, but especially #4 an #3.
- One from the forums; both the Ballad of Douche Quadbike and the resulting aftermath are pure gold.
- Most of DOB's stuff is gold, but "An Apology to the Town That I Turned into 'The Hunger Games'" is especially brilliant
- This article discusses the Carnivore Confusion of the Hamburglar living in a world where hamburgers are people.
Hamburglar: "A census taker tried to test me once. I ate his liver with McNuggets and a vanilla milkshake. Rabble rabble." |
- This article about pregnancy has its Nightmare Fuel watered down by some funny image captions. Like the one about "cheeseburger crotch" which shows a horrified woman holding a cheesburger with this caption:
- 7 WTF Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built on the efficacy of Russian tanks; "Dammit, they found our one weakness; anything that isn't snow."