Epic Rap Battles of History/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • I'll say this once, Lawrence. I hope it's understood. Get right back in your van, and GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY NEIGHBORHOOD.
  • Abraham Lincoln's abridged version of the Civil War. "Four score, and sixty-five years in the past, I won the civil war with my beard! Now I'm here to whoop your ass!"
  • "You're the only type of dynamite that's never going to bang!"
  • 1+2= SO MUCH BLOOD
  • "Arrivederci! I'mma leave before this battle begins! (Beat) ...cause we both know in the end which of these captains gonna win!"
    • Note that the beat is him actually leaving and then coming back.
      • The music does the same. If your internet connection is slow, you might even be fooled into thinking the rap stopped entirely.
    • Captain Kirk rapping. The cadence alone is hilarious.
      • I'm the... enterprisingCaptainJames..TiberiusKirkrep...presentingRiversideIowaplanet... Earth.
    • "...but that son of a bitch Marco Polo stole it from me."
    • The background Kirk in his intro.
  • When Justin Bieber mentions that he has Kim Kardashian in his bed backstage, Beethoven looks suddenly interested.
  • "I'll stick a flag up your ass, and claim you for Spain!"
  • Nice Peter and Epic Lloyd look five seconds away from pouting after Nice Peter's final (rapped) line in their battle. Then there's Kassem's appearance.
  • Most of the Awesome entries double as this.
  • Master Chief refering to Leonidas as 'Fabio Flinstone'.
    • Queen Gorgo's mild shrug which seemingly confirms that Master Chief did indeed show her his plasma cannon.
    • This line:

Master Chief: Your whole plan got messed up by a hunchback with Down Syndrome!

    • In the same video, Leonidas stating "Ha! I've had better fights with my six year old son!". Right next to him is a small, super imposed Epic Lloyd in a diaper, waving his hands in the air and making angry faces. It's a lot funnier than it sounds.
  • Luigi really needs to watch his language:

Mario: It's-a me, Mario!
Luigi: AND LUIGI, MOTHA*bling*A

    • "Representing North Carolina, aiiight!"
  • From the Behind-the-Scenes of the Wright Brothers vs. Mario Brothers: I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!
    • Also the opening, with Mario attempting to Eat His Gun over Princess Peach's yammering.
  • 1950s Elvis rapping.
    • Not to mention stuffing his face with sandwiches to transform into Fat Elvis, and opening his second verse with "You're a creeper, dude! You like to grab your own wanger!"
      • "I only let you marry my daughter/cause I knew you'd never bang her!"
  • From the Behind the Scenes, Nice Peter's jokes about the make-up he needs to look like Michael Jackson.

Nice Peter: We're making a white man, whiter.

  • Michael's "Ooh! It's about time for a Thriller / Didn't lose any chocolate, I just added vanilla" and "Whoopin' your big fat ass with my shiny glove"
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