Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (film)/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • After Luna fixes Harry's broken nose:

Harry: "How do I look?"
Luna: "Exceptionally ordinary."

  • Ron spotting his sister making out with Dean Thomas:

"I'd like to go home now."

Prof. Slughorn: Harry?!
Harry (same annoyed tone): Sir?!

    • Harry during the whole Felix Felicis scene is complete funny awesomeness. Harry, with his uncharacteristically peppy attitude, steals the entire scene (especially when he enacts how a giant spider's pincers work).
    • Seriously, Google "not to mention the pincers" on images. There's a bunch of them. And, it's hysterical.
      • What's even funnier is that he's acting like he's high.
      • Dan's line reading of "Personally these plants always kind of freak me out. Hmm."
        • And what's great is that it's such a subtle, out-of-the-blue performance. Harry's under a potion that brings him luck so he could pry the secrets of the Horcruxes out of the professor, and a side effect is that he acts overly cheerful and delirious, and acts like he doesn't know what's going on!
          • I always figured that Felix Felicis doesn't grant you extra luck, it simply improves your insight. You get an intrinsic sense of exactly what you have to do and when you have to do it for the most favorable outcome.
      • The whole bit with Slughorn sneakily cutting a leaf from a plant in the greenhouse when Harry walking into frame in the background, turning and seeing him and getting right next to him without saying anything and Slughorn getting the crap scared out of him when he turns his head!
  • Right after taking the Potion, Harry's alarmingly happy "HI!" to a random dude.
  • Half-Blood Prince: The entire Slug Club Party scene. Words can not describe the hilarity of Harry telling Cormac McLaggen that the appetizer he just put in his mouth was dragon balls ("Dragon...balls?"). Which he promptly sicks up onto the shoes of Severus Snape. Who puts McLaggen in detention!
    • McLaggen flirting with Hermione. By licking his fingers.
    • Harry coming back to the feast after being sneak attacked by Malfoy.

"He's covered in blood. Why is he always covered in blood?"
"At least it looks like it's his this time."

    • Then there's McGonagall's exasperated "Why is it always you three?" upon discovering Harry, Ron, and Hermione are caught up in the crisis du jour yet again. And Ron's reply, for that matter.

McGonagall: (to Harry, Ron, and Hermione) Why is it that, whenever anything happens, it's always you three?
Ron: I've been wondering that myself for six years, Professor.

    • Luna Lovegood appearing at the Gryffindor table dressed in a lion costume. For that matter, Luna's party dress. Which also manages to be stunning in its own, Luna way.
    • Price negotiations with Fred and George.

Ron: How much are these?
Fred and George: Five galleons.
Ron: How much for me?
Fred and George: Five galleons.
Ron: I'm your brother.
(Beat)
Fred and George: Ten galleons.

      • Also, Fred and George each have different expressions when they say that last line, both funny.
  • Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes shop features an animated doll of Umbridge skating across a tightrope, squealing "I will have order! I will have order!" [1]
  • Ron staring at the moon when he was under Romilda Vane's love potion.

Ron: It's beautiful, isn't it? The moon.
Harry: Divine. Had ourselves a little late night snack, did we?
Ron: It was on your bed, the box, I just thought I'd try one.
Harry: Or twenty.
Ron: I can't stop thinking about her, Harry.
Harry: Honestly, you know, I reckon she was starting to annoy you.
Ron: She could never annoy me. I think I love her.
Harry: Oh... brilliant.
Ron: Do you think she knows I exist?
Harry: Well, I'd bloody well hope so, she's been snogging you for three months.
Ron: Snogging? Who are you talking about?
Harry: Who are you talking about?
Ron: Romilda, of course. Romilda Vane.
Harry: Okay, very funny.
Ron: (throws the chocolates box at Harry)
Harry: What was that for?
Ron: It's no joke! I'm in love with her!
Harry: Alright, fine, you're in love with her! Have you ever actually met her?
Ron: No... Can you introduce me?

  • The Quidditch tryouts. Specifically, the comparison between Ron and McLaggen handling their...broomsticks.
    • Ginny acting as Harry's 2nd in command.

Ginny: Shut It!

Hermione: "I think she's trying to smuggle you a Love Potion."
Harry: "Really?" *smiles at her*
Hermione: "She's only interested in you because you're The Chosen One!"
Harry: "But I am The Chosen One."

Harry: "Sorry. Don't worry, I'll take someone cool."
  • "So did you and Ginny do it, then?" "What?"
    • He should've asked this question 19 years later...
  • Luna's adorable Gryffindor hat [dead link].
  • No one's mentioned any of Snape's moments yet? "How disappointing." Especially the following exchange:

Snape: Not... so quick, Potter.
Harry: Oh sir I really think I should get back to the party. My date...
Snape: ...could surely survive your absence another minute or two.

      • Or when he's explaining what veritaserum is to Harry in Goblet of Fire:

"Three drops of this, and You-Know-Who himself would be spilling his darkest secrets. The use of it on students is... regrettably forbidden."

      • No, no, no! The bit on the sixth film where Snape tells Harry that Dumbledore has had to go, and when Harry asks where, Snape just looks at him for a moment and walks off. Perfect comedic timing.
      • Well yeah, that too... Or how about when Umbridge is interrogating him? After she leaves, he smacks Ron upside the head with a notebook while looking after her.
  • When Ginny's trying to figure out when Harry arrived.

Hermione: Did someone mention Harry? Is he here?
Ginny: Apparently he's wandering the house.

  • This little gem that appeals to the juvenile in all of us:

Why are you worried about You-Know-Who?
You should be worried about U No Poo!
The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!

  • When the Carrows come to search the Hogwarts Express for Harry, an incensed Cormac McLaggen piping up "My father will hear about this!"
  • The scene in Half-Blood Prince where Ron is in the hospital wing after being poisoned, and his annoying girlfriend Lavender comes in worried and asking "Where's my Won-Won?" She and Hermione get into a fight over him, where Hermione calls her a "daft dimbo"! What makes this even funnier is that it's happening in front of the teachers—Dumbledore, McGonagall, Slughorn, and Snape. Then Ron calls out Hermione's name in his sleep, and Lavender runs off crying; Dumbledore quips "Oh to be young and to feel love's keen sting!"
    • Don't forget that while McGonagall and Snape keep their cool after Lavender storms off, Dumbledore is the only one who turns to look at her.
    • Also the way that Snape just stares straight ahead during that scene. And the fact that he's there at all watching it. It also becomes a little funny and sad once you realize that he should know how Lavender feels...
    • What really settles it is the dialogue! No, seriously, it's bloody hilarious:

Lavender: Where is he? Where's my Won-Won? Has he been asking for me? ...What's she doing here?!
Hermione: I was asking the same question!
Lavender: I happen to be his girlfriend!
Hermione: I happen to be his... friend!
Lavender: Don't give me that! You haven't spoken in weeks! It's nice to make up with him now that he's suddenly all interesting!
Hermione: He's been poisoned, you daft dimbo! And for the record, I've always found him interesting!
Ron: *groans*
Lavender: Ha! See? He senses my presence! Don't worry, Won-Won! I'm here...I'm here!
Ron: ...Hermusseh... Er-my-nee... Her...mione... Hermione... Hermione...
Lavender: *runs off crying*

  • The entire Felix Felicis scenario is comic gold. Harry, with his uncharacteristically peppy attitude, steals the entire scene (especially when he wiggles his fingers to act out spiders' pincers).

(after Harry has told Slughorn about leaving the castle)
Slughorn: Harry!
Harry: (In similar annoyed tone) Sir!

    • Seriously, Google "not to mention the pincers" on images. There's a bunch of them. And, it's hysterical.
      • What's even funnier is that he's acting like he's high.
      • Dan's line reading of "Personally these plants always kind of freak me out. Hmm."
        • And what's great is that it's such a subtle, out-of-the-blue performance. Harry's under a potion that brings him luck so he could pry the secrets of the Horcruxes out of the professor, and a side effect is that he acts overly cheerful and delirious, and acts like he doesn't know what's going on!
          • I always figured that Felix Felicis doesn't grant you extra luck, it simply improves your insight. You get an intrinsic sense of exactly what you have to do and when you have to do it for the most favorable outcome.
      • The whole bit with Slughorn sneakily cutting a leaf from a plant in the greenhouse when Harry walking into frame in the background, turning and seeing him and getting right next to him without saying anything and Slughorn getting the crap scared out of him when he turns his head!
    • Also, when Harry and Dumbledore are about to leave for the cave:

Harry: But sir, I thought you couldn't Apparate in Hogwarts.
Dumbledore: Well, being me definitely has its advantages.

  • On a meta level, from Slate.com's review of Half-Blood Prince:

"[Draco Malfoy] sulks around the halls of Hogwarts like a high-school Goth fresh from a spree at Hot Topic."


  1. ↑ Let us hope there was a spiked pit under it and the doll was incinerated if you tipped it in.
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