Incredibly Lame Pun/Quotes

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"Pun (n.): the lowest form of humour" —Samuel Johnson

"Riddle me this: What happens when you fill an empty eggshell with nitro? It becomes an egg-splosive! Uhuhuhuhuh!" —The Riddler, the 1960s Batman cartoon

"Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water." —Dave Barry, "Why Humor Is Funny"

"That was a Pune, or play on words." —Several characters, Discworld

"If the Internet were an auditorium, I'd be on stage grinning proudly against a chorus of groans." —Chris Hastings, creator of The Adventures of Dr. McNinja (Alt Text here)

"For example, some of the puns the creators use are wretched enough to serve as arguments for the death penalty (I really think they could have found a better name for the bottomless "Frank N's Stein")." —This review of SenZar

There isn't enough wah-wah music in the world to make up for that pun. —Linkara, on the "carried away" pun from Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man #1

Terry: "You're sure about this?" Bruce: "Everything they steal is tied to playing card suits." Terry: "How does the yacht fit in?" Bruce: "It was part of a yacht club." Terry: "Ouch." —Batman Beyond

Chick: Nobody likes puns, Disney, come on... Nella: [miserably] Nella likes puns. Chick: As I was saying, nobody likes puns. Nella: [Slopes away like a beaten dog.] —The Nostalgia Chick'

Hero: (to Lionfang) But it's great that you've come to the party, and you even brought me a present. I get to beat you into the ground just like I did last time. It's the gift that keeps on giving. —Adventure Quest Worlds, during the Frostval Events

Sek-Duat: Once again, you prove what a nuisance you are, half-breed. Zhoom: It's good to see you too, mummy. Hero: I thought your mom was dead... Sek-Duat: Can we skip the puns this time? —Adventure Quest Worlds

King Dedede: Heh heh heh heh heh. Oh, I just love it when I get Dedede-structive! —Kirby: Right Back at Ya!

Dilbert: Wally, would you like to be on my TTP project? Wally: What does "T.T.P." stand for? Dilbert: It's short for The TTP Project. I named it myself. So... do you want to join? Wally: I'd rather be your archnemesis. —Dilbert, May 18, 1994

DJ: Okay, we're gonna take a little fiver, so your MC can go pee. (brief moment of silence) ...That joke never gets a laugh. —Victorious, "Freak the Freak Out"

Batgirl: I bet that's not the first time you've fallen for a woman! Robin: Holy interference! She's ruining all our plans! Besides--she makes terrible puns! —Detective Comics #359 (First appearance of Batgirl)