"Lupin Becomes a Vampire",[1] with the English title "But Your Brother Was Such a Nice Guy". Released in 2004 by Geneon on Volume 7: Royal Scramble.
Hebrew Village, a refuge for Jewish people in Japan, has been rocked by the discovery of a stone casket that has been buried for two thousand years. Opening the casket reveals a beautiful woman clutching a gold statue of the Virgin Mary. Even more amazingly, the woman is still alive! The casket, woman, and statue are to be transported for testing, and none other than Inspector Zenigata himself has been assigned to keep an eye on things. After all, Lupin can't resist both treasure and pretty girls.
Sure enough, at Lupin's hideout, Lupin had decided to target the discovery. However, his superstitious comrades Jigen and Goemon, after attempting various fortune telling methods that all come up from "don't be stupid" to "you're going to die", don't want any part of it. Annoyed with them, Lupin heads off on his own to take the statue of Mary. As he drives off, a local hospital hosting the comatose woman discovers her gone from her bed, as well as all of the blood they were transfusing into her, and the window wide open.
At the Center for Applied Archeological Studies, Zenigata has the statue of Mary put into a special safe that will electrocute Lupin if he so much as touches it. He leaves to monitor the safe remotely, via camera. Lupin, in a tree outside, fires a special contraption into the room that uses a tiny robot to allow him to crack the safe's combination. So involved is he in his work that he fails to notice a wolf and a carriage hearse drive by; it doesn't escape Jigen and Goemon, who have decided to trail their friend to keep him safe. Eventually, the safe is opened and the statue removed, much to Zenigata's chagrin. As Lupin attempts to run, however, he encounters the wolf; when he flees, he stumbles and drops the statue. The wolf grabs the statue in its jaws and runs, and a frustrated Lupin gives pursuit in his car. However, the carriage hearse blocks the road, and Lupin hits it, causing a wooden coffin to fall out of the back. Lupin investigates the casket, labeled "Camilla", and finds the unconscious woman inside, falling for her right away.
He takes her to the rather questionable clinic at Hebrew Village. The drunken doctor there spots two marks on her neck as he examines her. Lupin sleeps at the foot of her bed, but when he wakes up, she's disappeared again. He goes out of the open window and into a nearby graveyard, where he finds her awake and standing among the gravestones. There, she tells him to kiss her, and when he does, she bares her fangs and bites him in the neck! Jigen and Goemon arrive shouting a warning, but it is too late to stop her. Camilla's carriage comes out of nowhere as she boasts she now controls Lupin's mind and he is one of her vampires; the two of them jump aboard as it speeds past. Jigen and Goemon follow in Lupin's car.
The gunman and the samurai arrive at Hebrew Village, where they are informed of its history by Fujiko in a very strange fashion. According to legend, Jesus came to Hebrew Village for some reason, died, and was buried, and not in Golgotha as the Bible says. Fujiko also notes she spotted Lupin there not long after she arrived looking for the statue of Mary for herself, and that he's probably at nearby Mount Onihime in an old lakeside castle there. The gang decides to follow him, and take shelter in a small house while waiting for a storm to pass. Jigen hangs garlic everywhere and hands out crosses. However, vampire Lupin manages to enter anyway and make off with Fujiko.
At the castle, Lupin brings Fujiko before Camilla, who tells her newest childe that she will offer Fujiko as a sacrificial offering. As she awakens the other vampires, she tells her life story to Lupin: she is the twin sister of Jesus, but was born a vampire. Sensing her wickedness, she was abandoned in a cave, but was adopted and raised by the bats and wolves there. In revenge, she stole the golden statue of Mary, treasured by her brother, as part of a prophecy and act of revenge, and then fled to Japan and Hebrew Village, where she buried herself to sleep in peace. Jesus followed her to the village and died there as well. If she sacrifices someone before the statue of Mary, she will gain power against her brother and mother and will be able to rule over the world.
As Camilla's ball to celebrate the fufilling of a prophecy goes into full swing, Jigen and Goemon enter in disguise and locate Lupin. They tell him they've figured out he's not a vampire because of his immunity to the garlic back when he kidnapped Fujiko. Before they can rescue her, though, their reflections, visible in the mirror behind them, give them away to Camilla. Goemon slices Fujiko's chains and frees her from the altar; together, the gang runs. Their weapons only slow down the vampires, and they are finally cornered on the edge of a cliff. Jigen hurls some leftover garlic at the vampires, which buys Goemon enough time to tie his sword and sheath into a cross-shape and throw it before the vampires, where it pins Camilla's dress to the ground. Lightning from the sky promptly strikes it and incinerates Camilla, the flames quickly spreading to the other vampires. In seconds, the bloodsuckers lie on the ground, nothing more than piles of ash.
The next day, Lupin and Fujiko return the statue of Mary to a nearby church. As they are about to leave, they are forced to hide when Zenigata, exhausted and beaten from failing to find Lupin on Mount Onihime, comes into the church and prays for a sign he should continue to follow his foe. Lupin places Mary on the altar while the detective's head is bowed. Elated to find the missing statue, he asks for one more bit of help, and a booming voice, naturally Lupin's, tells Zenigata that the thief is in Death Valley. Zenigata tears out of the church in joy, his purpose in life reconfirmed.
This episode features examples of
- Back-Alley Doctor: The doctor at Hebrew Clinic is drunk and less than technical in terms of medical jargon.
- Non Sequitur Scene: Tiny Elvis gives exposition. Except it's not really Tiny Elvis, it's Fujiko in disguise. It's likely an Incredibly Lame Pun on both Jesus and Elvis being "kings", but it's still pretty damn weird.
- Bring My Brown Pants: In the English dub, after being confronted by the wolf:
 |
Lupin: Uh, you don't really want me...I just wet myself. |
 |
- Creepy Cool Crosses: Lampshaded by Jigen giving a cross to the very Shinto Goemon.
- Evil Twin: Camilla to Jesus. Doesn't get much more extreme than that, does it?
- Genius Bonus: Camilla might refer to Carmilla, the titular female vampire of a Gothic novella that predated Bram Stoker's Dracula by two decades.
- Gilligan Cut: In the English dub, as the storm rages on Mount Onihime:
| |
Fujiko: No way to get up that mountain tonight. Only an idiot would dare to attempt it. |
|
- Human Sacrifice: Fujiko by Camilla.
- The Igor: Jigen disguises himself as one to sneak into the castle.
- Jesus Taboo: Averted so very hard in the original Japanese version. The English dub plays this trope almost straight, avoiding Jesus's name all but one time.
- Our Vampires Are Different: Camilla and her clan have all of the traditional vampire traits.
- It's the fact that Lupin subverts several of them when he "abducts" Fujiko that clues Jigen and Goemon into the fact he hasn't really been transformed.
- The lack of reflection in a mirror one gives the secret away to Camille in the end.
- Raised by Wolves: Not only wolves in Camilla's case, but bats, too!
- Religion Is Magic: Jigen hands out crosses to ward off the vampires, and at the end of the episode, Goemon makes his sword and sheath into the shape of a cross and uses it to destroy Camilla and her vampire family.
- Speak of the Devil: Subverted, in that it's you can't mention Jesus in Camilla's presence.
- Strong Family Resemblance: In the Japanese version, Lupin remarks that Camilla looks remarkably like the statue of Mary.
- Wicked Cultured: Camilla plays the piano rather beautifully while she awakens the other vampires.
- ↑ 吸血鬼になったルパン (Kyuuketsuki ni Natta Lupin)