Mistaken for Gay/Quotes

Ryan: Can I stay with you for a while? We could tell your landlord I'm gay.

Colin: Boy, that would be zany!

—Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.

Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.

—Thirty Rock

There were three things that people assumed upon first meeting Aziraphale: That he was intelligent, that he was British, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys high on nitrous oxide.

—Good Omens

Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?

Sam: Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.

—Supernatural, Playthings

Cpt. Peter Lassard: I need to get my hands on some healthy young men.
Cmd. Eric Lassard: (awkward) ...I guess there are places you could go ...certain bars and so on...
Cpt. Peter Lassard: Eric, what are you talking about?
Cmd. Eric Lassard: Does Margret know about this?
Cpt. Peter Lassard: Eric, I'm in trouble here and I need some new recruits!

Cmd. Eric Lassard: Oooooh! That's easy!

—Police Academy 2

George: Look, we're not gay.
Jerry: Not that there's anything wrong with that!

George: No, no, of course not!

—Seinfeld

Lancelot: We were in the nick of time, you were in a great peril.
Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were, you were in a terrible peril!
Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril!
Lancelot: No, it was too perilous!
Galahad: Look, it's a duty of a knight to sample as much peril as I can!
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Galahad: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No, it's unhealthy.
Galahad: Bet you're gay!

Lancelot: No, I'm not.

—Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Val: Hope you don't mind my saying, Doctor, but you look ever so sweet. You and your partner and the baby.
Doctor: "Partner." Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion?

Val: Sounds old-fashioned. There's no need to be coy, not in this day and age.

—Doctor Who, "Closing Time"

Frank the Magikoopa: Now on your brooms and think happy thoughts. Like titties!!
(Hal and Jeff try to use the brooms and end up plummeting to their doom.)
Hal and Jeff: Ahhhhhh!

Frank the Magikoopa: What are you.... Gay?!

—Bowser's Kingdom, episode 2

For the record, if anyone out there still cares, I'm not actually gay.

—Dr. John Watson, one of the most slashed characters in the history of print and screen media, Sherlock

I remember one time I scratched this girl's back in the middle of the night -- I was, you know, nine, and she was twelve, and she asked me to scratch her back. A nun ran in, ripped me off her back, threw me against the lockers, beat the shit out of me and called me a lesbian.

—Cyndi Lauper, on Catholic school