Bears are Bad News/Quotes
And, ladies and gentlemen, the number one threat to America... BEARS!
—Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report
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"That's a scary-ass bear! That's, like, a Jaws-sized bear! That's not even a bear. That's like a monster bear. What the fuck..." |
Don't try to outrun one of Dominaria's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.
—Flavour Text for the Magic: The Gathering card Grizzly Bears; and they're pretty mediocre, as bears go
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Spike: A bear! You made a bear! |
"The thing about a bear, his father had always said, is that it can move as silently as breath. It could be watching you from ten paces away and you'd never know. Against a bear you have no defenses. You can't run faster. You can't climb higher. You can't fight it on your own. All you can do is learn its ways, and try to persuade it that you're neither threat nor prey."
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"You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy."
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> —/v/'s most common variation of the FUCKING GAMESTOP meme.
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No Andalite accustomed to our more pacific animal life could possibly understand what a grizzly bear charge means. Even most humans would fail to imagine it. Grizzly bears are not lithe and graceful like the big cats. They are more like dogs. They move with a rolling, lopsided gait that at first seems almost tentative, as if they might stop at any moment. |
But then you begin to realize how large they are. And you begin to realize that, awkward or not, they are very fast. And you begin to realize that you are puny, pathetic, weak and insignificant. You begin to realize that this bear, this rolling, shaggy, unstoppable monster, can kill you from the mere impact of his shoulder hitting you.
—Ax on Rachel's favourite combat morph, Animorphs, 'The Experiment'
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"Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'"
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Kathleen: “I just have this completely rational fear of bears.” —Loading Ready Run, from the episode OMG! Bears!
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Battle bears? B E A R S?
—George Takei, Command and Conquer Red Alert 3 outtakes, has the idea of the War Bear explained to him.
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"Bears are crazy, Willie. They'll bite your head if you're wearing steak on it."
—Space Ghost, Space Ghost Coast to Coast
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Bear? Is the bear back? We've already lost one intern!
—Bridgette, Total Drama World Tour, "Aftermath Aftermayhem"
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Hobo: Well Abby, can I tell you something about bears? |
"He's like a bear! He's like a big shaved bear that hates people!"
—The Scout, describing the Heavy
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"Acid was always my favorite drug. When we would do acid, we'd go out into the woods, because there was less chance of running into an authority figure--but we ran into a bear, and that was an even bigger buzzkill..."
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"Number one, it's a bear. Number two, it's a bear. Number three, and probably most important... HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT'S A GODDAMNED BEAR!" |
-- Nash, pointing out the flaws in a man's crazed attempt to murder his ex-girlfriend.