Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Blackjack: As soon as I go into this [memory orb] we’ll be stormed by bounty hunters, ghouls, and Deus. But I’m bored and I’m curious, so I’ll need you two to protect me from Deus raping me with his cannon.

Glory: I really don’t think it’d fit. That bore has to be a hundred and twenty two millimeters and that’s almost the width of a mare giving birth so figuring in the thickness of the barrel…Oh. Blackjack humor. Sorry.

  • Blackjack reacts to being told that she's been exposed to taint.

Blackjack: So, am I going to grow tentacles? A third eye? A penis? Eye tentacle penises?

  • This exchange, from chapter 16:

Deus: “Gonna give me a blow job?”
Blackjack: *Magic Missile Groin Attack*
Deus: *Villainous Breakdown*

  • Recovering from a hangover in Chapter 17, Blackjack is offered a Hideous Hangover Cure. She downs three, and even develops a liking for the taste. Rampage - the immortal, drug-immune reaper - tries one and promptly vomits. All over P-21.
  • Shortly after Lacunae is introduced, Blackjack announces that she has something to say - and immediately has to reassure her friends that she is not pregnant, drunk or high.
  • Any discussion of Blackjack's 'compact' horn, and her envy of Lacunae's larger one.
  • Blackjack and co. need spark batteries to buy passage on a boat. The only trader nearby is Charity, and Blackjack is broke. Cue Puppy Eyes and whining.
  • Blackjack's ridiculous mental image of the Stable Dweller.

Blackjack: “I like to imagine her as some big, tough, take-no-shit kind of mare. [...] Big and tough and strong and doesn’t let anything cross her. She probably dual wields miniguns with missile launchers strapped to them. She’s probably got some kind of power armor too. Like magical super heavy plate that blasts lightning from her horn. And flies!"

“Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad. I’ve had poo water in my mouth,” Scotch said with a snort at the other two as I stepped out. There was a loud gulp and then, a second later, a thud.

  • “Crusaders collection agents!”
  • Finding out that Princess Luna's first Grand Galloping Gala as ruler was organised by Pinkie Pie.
  • "Rubber hoof brigade, coming through. Wooga wooga wooga!"
  • Blackjack and co. take cover from a fierce storm, and she uses a memory orb to pass the time. The memory, unexpectedly, is of a vigorous sexual encounter between Rarity and Vanity. BJ returns to her body to find all her friends staring at her. For some reason.
  • Chapter 34: again, Blackjack gets hammered drunk, and again she manages to intimidate a group of winged ponies into giving her a piggyback ride. Only this time it's the alicorns instead of the Enclave, Littlepip is along for the ride, she's wearing a crown made of taped-together whiskey bottles, and she manages to exasperate the Goddess to the point of a mental breakdown.
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