Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (novel)/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Potterwatch.
  • Harry after the Big Damn Kiss between Ron and Hermione.

"Is this the moment?"

  • The early scene where several characters are turned into Harry Potter decoys, including twins Fred and George. Their reaction? "Wow, we're identical!"
    • From the same scene, Harry's reaction to seeing all his doubles changing their clothes: 'He felt like asking them to show a little more respect for his privacy as they all began stripping off with impunity, clearly much more at ease with displaying his body than they would have been with their own.' Ron exclaiming (in a Shout-Out to a joke made in Half-Blood Prince about Harry's chest), "I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo," can only be topped by this moment after Bill offers to take Fleur on a thestral: 'Fleur walked over to stand beside him, giving him a sappy, slavish look Harry hoped with all his heart would never appear on his face again.'
      • The Face That Launched A Thousand Slashfics?
      • Forget that scene with Bill and Fleur, it's the above reaction that really killed me.
    • And later still, after George has lost his ear and makes his horrible pun 'I feel saintlike... holey', Fred's reaction: "Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?"
    • Most of the wedding:

Molly: Your brother is getting married in a few days!
Ron: And is he getting married in my room? No! So why in the name of Merlin's saggy left--
Arthur: Don't argue with your mother.

      • The drunk relative trying to figure out if the disguised Harry was his son.
      • Charlie, Hagrid, and another wizard getting drunk and singing about Odo the Wizard.
      • Aunt Muriel (and how she looks like a "badly-tempered flamingo") and Ron's response to her.

Ron: Nightmare, Muriel is. She used to come 'round every Christmas until, thank God, Fred and George put a Dungbomb under her chair and she took offense. Dad always said she'd write them out of her will.

      • Hermione trying to kick Ron under the table and hitting Harry instead.
      • Ron saying about Muriel, "She's rude to everyone" and George comes up saying "Talking about Muriel?"
      • The descriptions of Ron's uncle and how he celebrated at parties.

Fred: He used to down an entire bottle of firewhisky, then run on to the dance floor, hoist up his robes, and start pulling bunches of flowers out of his--
Hermione: Yes, he sounds a real charmer.
(Harry roars with laughter)
Ron: Never married for some reason.
Hermione: You amaze me.

    • How did we miss this one? "Really gives a feel for the scope and tragedy of the thing doesn't it?" Ron's Crowning Moment of Snark.
  • "Erecto!"
  • Hermione reading the tale of the three brothers while Harry and Ron play the Riff Trax.
  • Students out of bed! Students in the corridors!
    • They're supposed to be, you blithering idiot!
  • After Dumbledore tells Snape that he wants Snape to kill him, Snape responds, in full Sarcasm Mode, "Would you like me to do it now? Or would you like a few minutes to compose an epitaph?"
  • YOU! COMPLETE! ARSE! RONALD! WEASLEY!.
    • Actually, Hermione throughout that scene! DON'T YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! GIVE ME MY WAND!
    • And afterwards, Ron's sycophantic attempts to make up with her, especially the reference to "getting back in her good books."

Hermione: "Maybe it's something you need to figure out for yourself..."
Ron "Yeah, that makes sense!"
Hermione: "No it doesn't!"

Scrimegour: Are you planning to follow a career in Magical Law, Miss Granger?
Hermione: No, I'm not. I'm hoping to do some good in the world!

    • Even more Hilarious in Hindsight when you find out where Hermione ends up working in the epilogue - As the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.
  • When Ron is complaining that Hermione packed his old jeans and that they're too tight to fit his wand in, she suggests somewhere else he could stick it...