Suburban Knights/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


"Beyond reality, beyond fantasy, beyond your wildest imagination... lies something better than this."
—DVD tagline

Obstacle: None shall pass.
The Nostalgia Critic: Oh, knock it off, jerkhole! We’re in a hurry!
Obstacle': You are searching for unspeakable power.
Linkara: And it’d go a lot faster if you got out of the way.

Obstacle: But a great evil searches for it too.

Obscurus Lupa: Sort of why we need to get going.

Obstacle: He will never stop until he finds it.

The Nostalgia Critic: Okay, enough of this.

Obstacle: Your destiny awaits you.

The Nostalgia Critic: Eat lead, you fairy dropping!

Obstacle: Critic?

The Nostalgia Critic: Suede?

The Nostalgia Critic: How you doing, man? Holy smokes, I can’t believe it! What have you been doing with yourself?

That Dude in the Suede: Oh, I’m an obstacle. You know how it is...

The Nostalgia Critic: No kidding you’re an obstacle! Holy smokes!

Obscurus Lupa: Who is that?

The Nostalgia Chick: Oh, that’s That Dude in the Suede. He used to do reviews for the site.

The Nostalgia Critic: That thing with your voice– How did you do that?

That Dude in the Suede: It's just something I can do, you know what I mean?

The Nostalgia Critic: That’s incredible, man, that’s incredible! Oh, it’s great to see ya! Oh, hey, hey, hey- We’re looking for Malachite’s Hand. Do you know where that is?

That Dude in the Suede: Well, of course I do. I’m an obstacle, for goodness sake.

The Nostalgia Critic: Fantastic!

That Dude in the Suede: Oh, but first you must defeat me in mortal combat.

The Nostalgia Critic: What?

That Dude in the Suede: Oh, touch my sword. Oh, I am defeated, Let’s get out of here.

Benzaie: Oh, Suede! It’s good to see you!

That Dude in the Suede: Benzaie? I thought you hated me.

Benzaie: Benzaie does hate you, but Conan loves you.

That Dude in the Suede: Oh, all right then.

The Nostalgia Critic: Hey, Suede, what is the story behind this Malachite guy anyway?

That Dude in the Suede: Okay, let me fill you in. A long time ago…
—The return of That Dude in the Suede.
"You'll be a lady and like it, you panty-waist sissy!"
Obscurus Lupa, while yanking the Critic's tie and making him bend over like a girl. [1]

Joe: Hello. My Name Is Inigo Montoya. You killed my lawyer.

Cloak: Father.

Joe: Whatever. Prepare to Die!

"The power is... yours."
Ma-Ti's final words.

Joe: "Hello. My Name Is Inigo Montoya. You killed my hamster."
Todd: "Father."
Snob: "That's not even a person!!"

"It's still better than Furry Vengeance."
Spoony on the commentary.
"My Name Is Inigo Montoya, motherfuckers!"
Angry Joe unleashing his MP5 on the cloaks.
  1. Less dirty in context, promise.