Boers and Bernstein

"They’ve done their best to keep the sports world on its toes."

Sports talk radio tends to be a bit predictable, if you stop and listen to it. You've got some really boneheadedly-stupid callers, with some really bizzare theories about sports.

Since keeping these callers / listeners happy means ratings, the host or hosts on the show immediately agrees with the caller, because that's really why the callers called in: to hear their voice on the radio, and for someone they listen to on the radio agree with them.

Boers And Bernstein, on the Chicago radio station The Score (WSCR 670AM), was not that kind of show. At all.

Hosted by the titular Dan Bernstein and Terry Boers, the show's main draw was how the hosts interacted with their callers, who rarely remembered that these hosts wouldn't simply agree with whatever they said. Depending on your bent, this was the draw of the show.

The show ran from 1999 to 2016. It was very much Love It or Hate It. The people who hated the show and its hosts listened more. The shows that B&B critics like haven't been as successful.

Tropes used in Boers and Bernstein include:

Armor-Piercing Question: Dan had a Bottomless Magazine of these, if he disagreed with a caller's statement. For example, if a caller said that fighting in the NHL brings about Team Unity, Momentum, and inevitable victory, Dan would ask the caller how a local hockey team succeeds if they don't fight. Or he'll point out that NHL playoff games are notorious for not including fighting. Generally speaking, the caller would then swear or sputter and get kicked off the air.
Berserk Button: Dan did not like when he asked a caller a question about their statement and did not get an answer. This is generally because said question would explore just how incorrect their statement was.
Calling the Old Man Out: Their "signature segment" was called Who You Crappin?. Callers were encouraged to find something a sports person/entity claimed, explain why they were wrong, and end the line with "(Name}, Who You Crappin?". The segment itself was coined after Terry asked Mike Ditka to respond to allegations that he didn't have 'the fire', and Ditka pointed out that Terry regularly mocked Ditka's comments on 'the fire'.
Cloudcuckoolander: Terry loved to act like this. A few examples:
- When watching sports, he claimed to argue with his furniture. Especially his Ottoman.
- After saying "In my {sport} world", he'd follow it up with "Which is a very, very odd world, indeed"...
- Making gibberish noises in general.
Cool Old Guy: Terry Boers is an older man, having covered most of the major Chicago sports teams during his career as a journalist. He's got a story about practically everyone he's covered.
First-Name Basis: Not a hard-and-fast rule, callers who are fans of the show would call the hosts by their first name. Like, if the first person who started this article was a fan, and all the initial tropes mention Terry and Dan. The others, well... look below.
Hatedom: Dan's response to someone meeting him in real life and saying that they hate the show? Thank you for listening. He doesn't buy the idea of someone who angrily calls the show to promise they'll never listen again.
His Name Really Is "Barkeep": Most callers used the default moniker of {Name} from {City}. The person who most defined this trope was Gary From Evanston.
Last-Name Basis: Callers who didn't like the show would tend to refer to the hosts as Boers or Bernstein. This is frequently because Bernstein is a Jewish name - which has been brought up by callers.
Long Runner: While not as long as some on that list, Boers and Bernstein was on for seventeen years, which is a long time for a radio show.
Love It or Hate It: The show was extremely controversial.
Noodle Incident: The show was on for so long that the hosts would occasionally make reference to things that have happened off the air, or long ago. Most of them they can't say on the radio. And won't be repeated here, just in case.
Only Known by Their Nickname: What, you don't know who Ten Foot Midget, Black Physicist, Maddox Boy, the Blind Chauffeur, Bichiro, Unemployed Lawyer, Quit Playin, North Side Fro Dog, or Mr. Mouth are? Even real names used can stick as nicknames, with Random Guy From Rockford will still be called R-F-R even if he moves.
Only Sane Man: Both Terry and Dan, especially if they discuss topics that inflame the stupid. Chicago sports fans can be... not-so-bright.
Schmuck Bait: Dan (sometimes intentionally) invoked this, saying something that he knew would rile up people to call in.
- The whole show, from one perspective. Why would a sports-dumb caller call into a show knowing he'll be mocked? Because he's convinced that he'll be the one that proves Dan and Terry wrong.
Third Ranger: Jason Goff and Matt Abbatacola, the show's producers, were not technically' hosts on the show, but were practically that.
Unfortunate Implications: Dan liked to point these out:
- He wasn't shy about reminding people that Ice Hockey is a "Cold White Sport", whose fans tend to actively dislike (or outright hate) a much more Warm, Brown Sport. Whenever he does this, you can count on at least one caller chiming in with "I'm not racist, I just hate how basketball is filled with tattooed thugs and gangbangers, not like hockey!"
- The show had enough callers that were a little bit anti-Semitic that he was able to pick up on it.
Verbal Tic: Whenever anyone said anything about facial hair (or even tangentially related to hair at all), Terry would exclaim a wheezy BY CRACKY. FCC regulations forbid him from explaining why on the radio, and this editor isn't sure if he should here.