Killer Rabbit/Quotes

She was as terrifying as she was adorable. Her tone was so sunny, it sounded like she was announcing picnic plans. An instant later, I was rushing to prepare an entrenchment, practically crying.

—Visha's POV, Saga of Tanya the Evil Vol. 1

Tell the ultimate bio-weapon to stop licking you.

—Ervoth von Lucifuge, Starslip Crisis

I think they are deadly poisonous Zanzibar hamsters.

—Yozef Norden's infamous line in Metal Gear 2:Solid Snake

Suffer the little creatures, for they may yet rise up and beat you senseless.

—Druid's Call flavour text, Magic: The Gathering

"Pathetic? He's Hitler with a tail! This is the Omen with whiskers! Nostradamus didn't see this thing coming!"

—Ernie, Mousehunt

"What kind of mocking God created creatures with poofy ears and big black noses that don't want belly rubs?"

—Lore Sjoberg, The Book Of Ratings, "Marsupials"

Gabe: Don't just run over there and attack it. We should check him out first.
Gailgwynnych: It's a rabbit. Look how big I am. I'm huge. Plus, I've got this sword. I think I can handle a fucking rodent, you pussy.
Seconds later...
Gailgwynnych: What are you doing? Help me! Cast a spell or something! HE IS THE RUINER OF WORLDS!
Still later...
Kara: Did you help him?

Gabe: No. It turns out it was the king of all rabbits, indeed of all rabbit-kind. Their lord. The single template from which all other rabbits were wrought.

—Penny Arcade plays Final Fantasy XI and encounters "The Omega Hare."

"Attention! Attention! Ladies and gentlemen, attention! There is a herd of killer rabbits headed this way and we desperately need your help!"

—Officer Lopez, Night of the Lepus

"Cuddly widdle bears of death!?"

—Tabitha Smith, Nextwave

What a cute little girl.

—Jecht on Shantotto, Dissidia Final Fantasy

Clarkson : That is a, um, rabbit. I think it's going to attack me, look, it's poised.
[camera focuses on a hare frozen and wide-eyed with terror]
May : It's very tame.
Clarkson : It isn't tame, it's never seen a Lancia Beta coupe before and it's stunned.

May : [deadpan] To be honest, I was pretty scared when I saw it. Why doesn't it just run off?

Clarkson : What if it leaps up and bites my throat out?

May : I'll laugh.

—Top Gear goes to Africa and is slightly disappointed by the quality of the wildlife encounters.

"I think I made the fish too hardcore"
Toady one, Dwarf Fortress

"They got big furry tails, long and droopy ears like a dog, and their face finishes the rest of their cuteness. Of course these cute factors run away when you start to see them slaughter your team with powerful magic spells if you find them as enemies."

—Troper describing the Nu Mou.

"Haymitch had his own troubles over in the woods, where the fluffy golden squirrels turned out to be carnivorous and attacked in packs, and the butterfly stings brought agony if not death."

—Katniss Everdeen, Catching Fire

The platypus is mother nature's way of saying, "I made this thing out of spare parts I found on the workshop floor, and it can still fucking cripple you."

—Alex Levinton of Cracked, on the 6 cutest animals that can still destroy you.

"It's surprising how well cute and vicious go together."

—A Squirrel token card for Magic: The Gathering

"You should have hacked it to pieces when it was still adorable!"

—Marceline, after the Dimple Plant becomes a giant mutated monster, Adventure Time