All The Tropes

SpongeBob SquarePants/Quotes

< SpongeBob SquarePants
Revision as of 13:23, 9 May 2016 by Robkelk (talk | contribs) (→‎Season Three: moved to new subpage)



Season one

Season Two

Season Three

Season Four

Fear of a Krabby Patty [4.1a] (2005)

[After so many days running 24 hours]
Mr. Krabs: Day...uh, anyone know how many days it's been? I lost track.
Squidward: [wheezes] 43.
Plankton: Okay, I say a word, and I want you to say the first word that pops in your head.
SpongeBob: Okay!
Plankton: Work.
SpongeBob: Work.
Plankton: Spatula.
SpongeBob: Spatula.
Plankton: [annoyed] Bun.
SpongeBob: Bun.
Plankton: See, the key is to say something different than what I say.
SpongeBob: Ooh, Okay, I got it.
Plankton: Potato.
SpongeBob: Patotto.
Plankton: Tomato.
SpongeBob: Tamotto.
Plankton: .......
[In SpongeBob's dream]
Krabby Patty: [points at SpongeBob's chest] I'll always be with you right here.
SpongeBob: In my heart?
Krabby Patty: Actually, in your arteries.
[When SpongeBob is cured]
Plankton: What about the formula???
SpongeBob: You're right, I gotta go back to work.
Plankton: Wait! Come back! Therapy doesn't work. You're still sick! Very very sick!
Mr. Krabs: No more 24 hour shifts, 'cause 23 hours will be plenty!

Have You Seen this Snail? [4.3](2005)

SpongeBob: Dirty Bubble, say your prayers!
Snails in Painting: RUN!!
[Gary sees the fliers SpongeBob and Patrick have been posting all over town, and realizes that SpongeBob wants him back]
SpongeBob: [in Gary's mind] Gary, please come back to me!
[Gary starts crawling towards his old home]
SpongeBob: [continued] Go, boy! Go!
Granny: Oh, there you are, Ms. Tuffsy!
Other Snail: Who?
Patrick: SpongeBob! I just remembered! Back at the craft store, I saw...!! These huge chunks of balsa wood! They were AWESOME!

Selling Out [4.5a] (2005)

Carl: Hey fellas! What's going on over here?
Squidward: Oh, hey Carl! I was just reminding Eugene about article 24, section 3 of the Employee Handbook!
Carl: Cut the chatter, and pick up a platter. Good job, Squidward!
Mr. Krabs: What've you done with the real Squidward?!
Carl: The less you know Eugene, the better!
Carl: Now, you wouldn't want to talk to human resources, [a big hitman appears in the doorway] would ya? What's our motto again?
Squidward: [frightened] Uh-uh... Sincere Service... [slaps himself and dons a large smile] WITH A SMILE!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what happened to the krabby patties?
SpongeBob: I tried to tell them, BUT THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME!!
Mr. Krabs: [seeing Krabby Patties being processed on a conveyor belt] This is obscene!
Mr. Blandy: Mr. Krabs, is there a problem?
Mr. Krabs: You better believe there's a problem! I used to kiss the ground you walked on, Blandy, but after seeing this, I wouldn't even spit in your direction! Krabby Patties are supposed to be made by hand, one at a time! Not on a conveyor belt!
[An alarm sounds just then. Gray matter oozes out from beneath the closed kitchen door]
Carl: Oh my.
[While golfing during his retirement]
Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. I hate golf!
Carl: Mr. Blandy?! Code Red! FREE THINKER!
Mr. Krabs: [walks over to woman eating synthesized Krabby Patty while holding the gray ooze behind his back] Excuse me, ma'am. Do you know what you're eating?
Woman: No.
Mr. Krabs: THIS!! [shows synthesized ooze]
Woman: [looks down into half eaten Krabby Patty] OH!!

Dunces and Dragons [4.6] (2006)

Guard: Right this way.
SpongeBob: Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, "Righteth this way-eth!"
Guard: [holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down] Some day, but not today.
Squidly: Everyone be-eth a critic.
Patrick: Me thinks it's mutton-tastic!
Patrick: [stomach growls] What does a guy have to do to get some mutton around here? I'm starving!

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture [4.7a] (2005)

Mermaid Man: Bonko!
Barnacle Boy: It's "bingo!"
Mermaid Man: Get your hands off me, woman!
Sandy: Did somebody say "boom"?! [blows up movie set with dynamite]

Enemy-in-Law [4.7b] (2005)

Mr. Krabs: PLANKTON!
Plankton: KRABS!
Mrs. Krabs: EUGENE!
Mr. Krabs: Mommy?
Plankton: Mommy?!
SpongeBob: SpongeBob!
Mr. Krabs: SPONGEBOB!
Plankton: This delectable creature is your mother?
Mr. Krabs: This no-good, conniving chizzler is your date?!
SpongeBob: And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter!
Mr. Krabs: SPONGEBOB!!!
Plankton: Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
SpongeBob: Terribly sorry, sir. [pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it] Will there be anything else?
Plankton: Is my tie on straight?
SpongeBob: You...look....FABULOUS!!!
Mrs. Krabs: Oh, Sheldon.
Plankton: Oh, Mrs. Krabs. [snaps fingers]
Mr. Krabs: Oh, brother.
[Mr. Krabs is taking Plankton out of the restaurant]
Mrs. Krabs: Eugene! Put my boyfriend down this instant!
[Mr. Krabs looks shocked]
Plankton: Boyfriend?
Mr. Krabs: But, Mommy.
Plankton: You heard the woman, Krabs. Put me down!
[Mr. Krabs drops Plankton into Mrs. Krabs' hand]
Plankton: That's more like it.
Plankton: Well, I'm in the food service, I'm a bit of a restauranteur. I'm the owner of the Chum Bucket.
Mrs. Krabs: Never heard of it.
Plankton: [looks shocked] It's across the street.
Mrs. Krabs: Doesn't ring a bell.
Plankton: [holds up a telephone directory] It's on the back of the phone book. Come on, I paid a lot of money for that ad! Never mind, never mind. So, tell me about you.

Patrick Smartpants [4.8a] (2005)

Patrick: [to Squidward] May I suggest that on the seventh bar of the 'Adagio Andante' that you add a little fortissimo on the arpeggiated B flat scale.
Squidward: Wow, I never thought to do it like that!
Patrick: That is because you rarely think.
Spongebob: How do you know so much about music?
Patrick: A creative outlet provides a spiritual release and helps facilitate a healthy mental balance.
Patrick: Knowledge can never replace friendship! I PREFER TO BE AN IDIOT!
SpongeBob: You're not just an idiot Patrick, you're also my pal!
SpongeBob: Patrick! You're back!
Patrick: Patrick, you're back.
[They hug each other]

Krusty Towers [4.9a] (2006)

Patrick: I'd like a Krabby Patty.
Squidward: This is a hotel now. If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to rent a room and order room service!
Patrick: OK! One Krabby Patty and one room. With cheese. Oh, and can I get more cheese on the Krabby Patty too?
Squidward: Patrick! You live 400 yards away, why would you want to rent a room?
Patrick: Sometimes I need to get away from it all.
Patrick: First, you need to take my bags.
Squidward: How could you have bags? You just found out this was a hotel!
Patrick: This is a hotel?
Mr. Krabs: This elevator is for guests only. Take the employee elevator!
[Sqidward enters the employee elevator and discovers it's a large flight of steps]
Squidward: [while carrying Patrick's suitcases] What's in these things? Rocks?
[Squidward drops the suitcases, which spring open. Several rocks fall out]
Squidward: Hey, these are rocks! Why is your suitcase full of rocks?
Patrick: I don't tell you how to live your life!
Patrick: Squidward, wait! I don't like crusts on my sandwich.
Squidward: That's a bun, it's all crust! How am I supposed to cut the crust of a bun?
Patrick: Peel it.
[Squidward peels the crust off of the Krabby Patty buns]
Squidward: Happy?
[Patrick gleefully enjoys his Krabby Patty]
Squidward: I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hairs.
SpongeBob: Yes, sir!
Squidward: And I'd like it here in five seconds.
[SpongeBob leaves and returns with a Krabby Patty]
SpongeBob: Here you are, sir!
Mr. Krabs: Well, you've got your stinky sandwich. Now eat it!
Squidward: Oh, I'm not going eat it! You are. [hands it to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: Wha-? You're out of your mind if you think I'm gonna eat that!
SpongeBob: [whispers to Mr. Krabs] That's not really a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hairs.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I get you boy. [winks] All right, Squidward.
[Mr. Krabs bites into the patty, but sticks his tongue out in disgust. On it, there are toenail clippings and nose hairs]
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs. We were all out of cheese.
[Scene cuts to Patrick's room which is coated with cheese]
Patrick: Hooray!
Squidward: This room is hideous. Redesign it! Neptune XIV would be nice.
[Many designs later]
Squidward: Perfect!
Mr. Krabs: This room is exactly the same as when we started!
Squidward: Nothing like getting back to the basics.
[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]
Mr. Krabs: FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?!!!
Squidward: You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
Mr. Krabs: Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
Patrick: This is a hospital?
Mr. Krabs: Pack your bags, boys! You're going to medical school!
Patrick & SpongeBob: Hooray!
Squidward: Oh, boy...

Mrs. Puff, You're Fired [4.10b] (2006)

Sergeant Roderick: [smashes through the door] Hello, worthless students! [SpongeBob shivers in fear] I'm your new instructor. [smashes Mrs. Puff's nametag] No one's ever failed my class, that's lived through it. I can assure you these next four weeks will be the worst years of your miserable lives. Your spines will break, your teeth will ache, your eyes will be bloodshot! [students groan in discomfort] You will drive out of this school in style, or you will be carted out in your granny's handbasket. Everyone will follow the rules of the class. First rule: No talking!
Student #1: [raises hand] Does that mean-
[Sergeant Roderick grabs student by the head and tosses him through a wooden door]
Sergeant Roderick: Second rule: No eating in my class. [takes out a box of chocolates] Would anyone care for a bon-bon?
Student #2: Uh, I'll eat one... [raises hand, all other students gasp]
Sergeant Roderick: Pick your favorite. [The student picks up a bon-bon, slurps it up with his tongue and chews] How's it taste...?
Student #2: It's a delightful taste sensation-
Sergeant Roderick: [grabs the student by the head and runs forward] NO EATING IN MY CLASSROOM! [throws the student through yet another wooden door] Now, if anyone else is man enough to stay in this class... [all the students flee, laving SpongeBob alone] Looks like you're the man... Sponge!
SpongeBob: I am?
SpongeBob: [crawling on his hands and feet on a driving course then notices a pebble] PEBBLE!! [the pebble gets stuck in SpongeBob's hand] YYYEEOOOOW! OOOOOW! [falls onto his butt but keeps accelerating forward, leaving a trail of fire behind him. He flies up a vertical section of road and into the air, continuing to scream out, "YEEOOW! OOOOW!", grasping onto the wrist of the hand with the pebble stuck in it. He falls back down and is caught by his driving instructor. His arm then snaps off, and his body drops the ground]
Sergeant Roderick: I'm ashamed of you, cadet. Tripped up by a wee pebble. [crushes the pebble between thumb and forefinger] What are you supposed to be learning in my class?
SpongeBob: Uh, how to drive, sir?
Sergeant Roderick: Yes, but first, you learn to crawl, then you learn to walk, then you learn to run! But before you learn to walk, you must learn to CRAWL! I WANT YOU TO CRAWL!!
SpongeBob: SIR, YES, SIR!!
SpongeBob: [after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course] So, heh... how'd I do?
Sergeant Roderick: How'd you do...? [lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed] Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this pedestrian HOW YOU DID?!
Mrs. Puff: I feel so serene now that I'm finally away from that homicidal maniac, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Step three...engage blindfold!
Sergeant Roderick: What?! You can't drive a boat with a blindfold! That's illegal!
SpongeBob: But...I can't do it without a blindfold--
Sergeant Roderick: DRIVE, BOY! DRIIIVE!
SpongeBob: [floors the gas pedal and crashes into a huge canister labeled, "GAS", obliterating the boating school facility in a mushroom-radius explosion. The boat flies into the air and lands on a main road]
Sergeant Roderick: MAYDAY! MAYDAY! YOU'RE OFF COURSE!
Sergeant Roderick: [grabs the shirt collar of Mr. Fitz] If I don't stop this thing, tell my wife I love her! [jumps onto the hood of the car, then into the air. He lands in front of the boat]
Sergeant Roderick: COME GET SOOOME!
[The boat plows into the instructor, knocking him away]
SpongeBob: Did I pass?
Mr. Fitz: Well, if there was a "destroy the city" part of the test, you would have.
SpongeBob: Hey, Mrs. Puff. Sorry I'm "unteachable."
Mrs. Puff: It's okay... Mr. Fitz gave me my teaching certificate back...and your dossier was destroyed in the explosion... [trembling voice] so, it's as if you never failed!

All That Glitters [4.12a] (2006)

SpongeBob: [while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor] All that glitters is not gold.

Wishing You Well [4.12b] (2006)

Plankton: [to wishing well] I have presented you with a monetary offering as custom dictates. My wish - nay, my command - is to be taller! Just a little. Just big enough so I can crush my enemies like the vermin they are!
Squidward: You're making me claustrophobic.
Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean?
SpongeBob: It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.
Squidward: No it doesn't!
Patrick: HO HO HO!
SpongeBob: Stop it, Patrick! You're scaring him!
Patrick: HO HO HO!
Squidward: It's not working, Patrick.
Patrick: Darn it.
Spongebob: Uh, Squidward, you're stepping on my foot.
Squidward: Oh! Sorry, Spongebob.
Patrick: And you got your elbow in my ribs.
Squidward: [looks down and sees his elbow in a plate of ribs] Ew... Patrick!
Patrick: And stop stepping on my potato salad! [pushes Squidward]
Squidward: Stop pushing me, Patrick! [pushes him back]
Patrick: Oh, you mean like this? [pushes him]
Squidward: No, like this! [pushes him; the camera pans to SpongeBob as fighting sounds are heard]
SpongeBob: We shouldn't fight in here! This is a magical place...
[camera pans to outside the well]
Squidward: Patrick, get off of me!
[camera pans back to the bottom of the well, Patrick is sitting on Squidward]
Squidward: PATRICK! I told you I am claustrophobic!
Patrick: Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here!
Squidward: PATRICK!!
Mr. Krabs: [upon learning about wishing wells] Suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!
Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me to believe in magic, NEVER! Just to prove it to you, I'll demonstrate! [takes out a penny and walks over to the well] I wish I was steamed, and served with a side of melted butter! [laughs as he tosses the penny in]
Spongebob: Mr. Krabs, NOOOOOO!
Mr. Krabs: Well, where's your magic now? [disappears; the camera pans to a steamed crab on a plate] Ohhh, where am I? [a side of melted butter is placed next to the steamed crab] What's going on, here? [a man puts on an apron with a picure of a red crab silhouette that reads "THE END"] Uh-oh! [quickly and cautiously] I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic! OOOH, NOOOOOO!
Squidward: Come on Spongebob this hole's not going to dig its self. [Adds to himself] And I'm sertanily not going to do it.

Bummer Vacation [4.14a] (2006)

Patrick: [puts his finger in his head] Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.


Patrick: [has just returned to his house after his work shift, only to find that SpongeBob is already under his rock, kneeling in the corner] Huh?
SpongeBob: Who do they think they are? I've given the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire me like that? Like TRASH? I don't think so...
Patrick: [concerned] SpongeBob?... Is that you?
SpongeBob: [turns to Patrick with a demented look on his face] I've been waiting for you, Patrick! [Patrick gasps as SpongeBob menacingly advances towards him]
Patrick: SpongeBob, you're scaring me! [screams] [SpongeBob laughs maniacally as he continues towards Patrick]

Driven to Tears [4.17a] (2007)

Announcer: Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
Patrick: Does this mean I win a free keychain?
SpongeBob: Now you can put this plate on your boatmobile.
Patrick: Oh, I threw it away. The needle was on E, so I guess that means "End."
Patrick: Learning tastes good!
Patrick: 58 is like, the luckiest number ever!
Mr. Krabs: [after making SpongeBob man the drive-thru] It's for those people on the open road, living their dreams.
SpongeBob: I used to have a dream.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually.
[Mr. Krabs scurries away as Patrick pulls up to the drive-thru and beeps his horn loudly]
Patrick: The horn still works!!

Born to be Wild [4.18b] (2007)

Squidward: Has it ever crossed your mind that you might be getting all worked up over nothing?
SpongeBob: Squidward, when have I ever been known to overreact?
[Numerous flashbacks]
SpongeBob: Squidward, we're out of napkins! [cries] Out of napkins!
[SpongeBob is shown banging on Sqidward's door]
SpongeBob: Squidward, I accidentally removed the do not remove under penalty of law tag on my mattress! Hide me! Hide me!
[The next flashback shows nothing but dark]
SpongeBob: Squidward! Squidward! I've gone blind! [Squidward turns the lights on] Oh. Thanks, Squidward!
[Flashbacks end]
Squidward: SpongeBob, you always overreact to everything! It's one of your many annoying traits.
SpongeBob: Me, annoying? [starts laughing annoyingly] Yeah, right.
Mr Krabs: Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
Old Guy: Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

Best Day Ever (2006)

SpongeBob: [singing]
Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me
He said, it's gonna be a good one just wait and see!
Jumped out of bed and I ran outside
Feeling so extra-ecstatticfied!
It's the best day ever!
Best day ever!
[On the first part, his house is on fire]

Season Five (2007)

Friend or Foe [5.1]

SpongeBob: Why, Mr. Krabs? Why does he hate us so?
Mr. Krabs: Listen up Squidward, 'cause this is where it gets juicy.
SpongeBob: Don't forget your condiments, Plankton!
Kid Plankton: Get outta my FACE!
[He and Kid Krabs growl at each other]
Potty the Parrot: You've got rats in the kitchen!

Rise and Shine

" Patrick: I've got to put on my teeth and brush my pants!

Sing a Song of Patrick [5.3]

Patrick: I think I wrote a poem once... [flashback to a younger Patrick, whose voice is higher-pitched]
Young Patrick: [reading from a sheet of paper] A Poem, by Patrick Star. Roses are blue, violets are red. I have to go to the bathroom. [eats the paper and burps]
Gym Teacher: How many times I gotta tell ya, this...is...gym class! [blows a whistle, and several dodgeballs are thrown at Patrick]
Squidward: What's that horrible smell?! [sees steam coming out of SpongeBob's window] Is Patrick thinking again?
Patrick: [sticking his head out of the window] I'm making art!
Squidward: Patrick, it smells like something crawled into your brain and died.
Patrick: That's the creative process at work!
A band member: This one's really bad! It made my eyeballs throw up!
Another band member: Oh yeah? [he takes the script and, upon reading it, his eyeballs shrivel up and turn to dust]
Director: I don't care how awful his poem is, he spent his hundred bucks already!
Band leader: C'mon guys, we're gonna do this if it kills us. A-one, and a-two, and a--
[Cuts to a graveyard: the band members apparently died after recording the song]
An eulogizer: [to Patrick] They wanted you to have this. [hands a record to Patrick]
Patrick: My song!
SpongeBob: It's really loud!
Patrick: You need it louder? OKAY!
"I Wrote This" Lyrics:
Twinkle Twinkle Patrick Star
I made myself a sandwich
My mommy named it Fred
It tastes like beans and bacon
And smells like it's been dead
Writing stuff is hard
So I used a pointy pencil
Pointy, pointy, pointy
Pointy, pointy, point
P.U., what's that horrible smell?
Man: Drum solo! [drum solo]
I have a head
It ends in a point
Pointy, pointy, pointy
Pointy, pointy, point
This song is over
Except for this line
You win this round
Broccoli!

A Flea In Her Dome [5.4]

[SpongeBob and Patrick are crying because they miss Sandy]
SpongeBob: Why did she have to go to the science convention and TAY-HAUS [Spanish pronounciation of "Texas"]?
Patrick: TAY-HAUS!
SpongeBob: She won't be back for one more hour, 26 minutes, and 47 seconds! [they start squirting tears at each other]
Patrick: I miss Sandy so much! Her tentacles, the way she plays clarinet, her massive nose...
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick, that's Squidward. He's not gone; he's right here! [camera pans to Squidward planting a flower in the ground]
Squidward: No I'm not. [walks away]
SpongeBob: I sure do miss that squirrel! Her karate chopping, that 10-gallon glass dome over her dome, and who can forget those buck teeth? After Sandy gets back, we're gonna let her know how much we miss her!
Patrick: Is Sandy the one I call "mom"?
SpongeBob: No, Patrick, that's your mother. But that does give me an idea! We'll throw Sandy the mother of all welcome-home parties! Patrick, to the tree dome!
Patrick: WHOHAIE!
SpongeBob: [singing] Welcome, home Sandy, you know that, we missed ya—
Bus Driver: NO!! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU SING!
Sandy: Sorry, SpongeBob, he's got a fierce no-singing policy!
SpongeBob: That's quite all right, Ms. Cheeks, as long as you don't have a fierce no-partying policy!
Patrick: [the flea bites him and makes marks on his stomach] Ahahahaha! Connect the Dots. [draws lines connecting the bite marks on his stomach] I drawed a horsey! OUCH!! Why does this flea keep biting me?
Sandy: When a flea bites you, it's because he's sucking up your blood for nutrition.
Patrick: I have been bitten by a vampire flea! NO!! I'm gonna turn into a vampire now! It's already happening! [starts going berserk]

Krabs à la Mode [5.5b]

Squidward: I'm going to go recover from hypothermia.
Spongebob: Hippo-whatia? What does that mean?
Mr. Krabs: It means he's a big fat crybaby.
Squidward: It's freezing in here! How cold does Krabs keep this place anyway? [looks at the thermostat which reads 62 degrees, much to his disgust] 62 DEGREES!? [with confidence] I'm gonna set to a toasty 63. [turns the thermostat dial slightly clockwise; an siren goes off and a red light flashes]
Mr. Krabs: [bursts through the door to his office] WHOOOOO TOUCHED ME THERMOSTAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!? [everyone points to Squidward]
Squidward: [to Spongebob] Oh, thanks a-- [Mr. Krabs grabs him in the jugular]
Spongebob: You're welcome, Squidward.
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, you're always going on about your book club. READ THIS!! [points to a poster above the thermostat that reads "DO NOT TOUCH THERMOSTAT EVER!]
Squidward: Do not touch thermostat ever. [Mr. Krabs sets it back]
Mr. Krabs: HEAT COSTS MONEY!! There's two ways to get on me bad side, boys. I don't like kids playing in me yard, and nobody but me, touches me thermostat!
Squidward: That's totally selfish!
Spongebob: Yeah! Your yard is really fun! There are kids playing in it right now.
Mr. Krabs: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Mr. Krabs: [having a nightmare] Someone... touching... thermostat!


Mr. Krabs: [yells that the icicles fall] Don't..touch...ME THERMOSTAT!!!

Donut Of Shame [5.9c]

Patrick: Where am I? What happened? Oh yeah, the party. I must have passed out in SpongeBob's kitchen, on the ceiling. See, SpongeBob? I told you we shouldn't stay up past 8:30, things get real crazy after 8:30. [has a flashback of last night's tea party] She really knows how to pound 'em down huh, SpongeBob... SpongeBob? [notices SpongeBob snoring with a donut in his hand] That's a good lookin' donut.

Atlantis Squarepantis

Mr Krabs: Is this some kind of joke!? Where's that gas tank?
[Song starts]
SpongeBob: A song? To sing a song? A song of wanting to move along
To a land where all our dreee--
[Falls to the floor low song stops]
SpongeBob: Sorry.
SpongeBob: To a land of all our dreeaaams can finaly come true

20,000 Patties Under the Sea [5.16a]

SpongeBob: Bye, Squidward! Bye, Mr. Krabs! [sounding flirtatious] Bye, Squidward.
Patrick: You said "Bye Squidward" twice.
SpongeBob: I like Squidward.
Patrick: I think I fell on a rock! [shows a sharp, jagged rock in the back of his head]
Plankton: Hello, little one! Would you like a Chum Burger?
Little Kid: Uh...does it come in raspberry?
Plankton: Umm...no...
Little Kid: Blueberry...?
Plankton: No.
Little Kid: Uhmmmmmmm...raspberry?
Plankton: Aw, c'mon kid! You already said that! Quit wasting my time!
Little Kid's Mother: Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are?!
Plankton: I'm Plankton, ya old hag, and your son smells like boogers!
Husband: Hey, don't talk to my wife like that! What do you think this is?!
Plankton: Looks like it's time for you to lose some weight, fatty! That's what it is!
Husband's Grandmother: You can't talk to my grandson like that! Someone ought to put you in a mental institution!
Plankton: Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, grandma!
Husband's Grandmother: You're probably right...
Plankton: You people are crazy! I'm gettin' outta here! [people begin throwing rocks at him] Hey!
Patrick: [talking about mysterious stomach-like thing from the abyss] It's a liquid!
Spongebob: No, it's a solid, it's a solid! [thing oozes mysterious liquid]
Spongebob and Patrick: It's a losquid...

The Battle of Bikini Bottom [5.17a]

Patrick: I happen to like my various smells and germs.
Patrick: [after he reveals he doesn't wash his hands, much to the chagrin of Spongebob] You... [writes a "U" on a brick wall with mud] are... [writes an "R"] how do you spell "Notmyfriend"?
Patrick: Taste pit evildoer.
Squidward: [to Mr. Krabs] Did you get any of Patrick's gold?
Mr. Krabs: He's not digging for any gold I'm looking for!

Season 6

The Splinter [6.1a]

Squidward: [same tone] The spatula...TIED TO YOUR NOSE!! SpongeBob: Ohhh, this! [explains quickly]Well, you see, this got stuck up there so I stacked stuff and I climbed up to reach it. I reached it and grabbed it. I got it but then I fell and I screamed! I was sure I was dead but then I wasn't but then I tripped and I got this splinter and Squidward? Squidward, were you listening at all? I got this really bad splinter, you see? And I couldn't hold the spatula with my hand so I used my nose. Makes sense now, huh? Squidward: [sarcastic] Oh, yeah, that makes perfect sense. You're a half-wit who injured himself at work being a nitwit. SpongeBob: [laughs] Good one, Squiddy. Squidward: [grumbles] Injury. Your brain is injured! [gets an idea] Wait a minute. Did you say that you got that splinter injury at work?

Sun Bleached [6.4a]

Patrick: [sprays dirt with a water hose then dips SpongeBob who is sun bleached and horribly dry, into a puddle of mud, wipes the mud away from his eyes, puts two slabs of jerky for SpongeBob's buck teeth, then rips out his own armpit hair] AAHHHH!! AAH-AHH-AAAHH!! [instantly turns calm, then places the armpit hair onto SpongeBob's head, then gives SpongeBob a mirror] See?
SpongeBob: [screams, horrified] I...look... [adoring voice] amaaaziiing.

Giant Squidward [6.7a]

Patrick: [about Squidward's kelp flowers, with a soft tone] They're preeeeeeettyyy! [Squidward shrieks]
Squidward: Patrick!
SpongeBob: And SpongeBob!
Squidward: What are you two doing here?
SpongeBob: Patrick is helping me to do good deeds today, like trimming your kelp garden! [points to Patrick, who takes a large bite out of the kelp, then burps]
Squidward: [Yells] STOP EATING MY KELP!!! [shoves Patrick and SpongeBob]
Patrick: Okay, okay, geez! I try to help a fellow out. I'll just have to eat this ice cream cone instead!
Squidward: Oh! Do you like to eat ice cream, Patrick?
Patrick: Hmmmmmm...yeah.
Squidward: Then have some more! [sprays the ice cream]
Patrick: [falls over when the ice cream gets bigger] Whoa! Oof!
Squidward: Ha, ha, ha! Still want that ice cream?
Patrick: Boy I do! Thanks, Squidward! Want some, SpongeBob? Last one to the cone is a rotten clam!
Squidward: [to SpongeBob and Patrick] HEY! Look at what you did to me! You better fix my nose, or you'll hear from my lawyer!
SpongeBob: Are you sure?
Patrick: Yeah! You'll be ugly again!
SpongeBob: Good deed accomplished! I ask for no reward.
Patrick: You're a saint, SpongeBob! A SAINT!
SpongeBob: I know, and it is a burden I must carry.

Repeated Quotes

  • SpongeBob: "I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!"
  • Patrick: "Oh, barnacles!"
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: "Aw, tartar sauce!"
  • Patrick: "Good morning Krusty Crew."
  • Mr. Krabs: "Ar Ar Ar Ar Ar!"
  • Mermaid Man: "EEEEVILLL!!!"
  • Patrick: "Aw, fish paste!"
  • Squidward: "How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors?"
  • Fred: "My leg!"
  • Sandy: "Yee-haw!"

Season 8

The Way of the Sponge

Fuzzy Acorns: Congratulations, Sandy. You've managed to put your opponent to sleep in under 1 minute. [Lifts his finger, touches the wood, causing it to collapse, and waking Spongebob up] Too bad your opponent didn't put up a fight. I was prepared to give you the lowest of belts: a clear belt. But now I realized, you're unfit to wear a belt of any kind INCLUDING THE ONE THAT HOLDS UP YOUR PANTS! [snatches off spongebob's belt, causing his pants to fall off]
Sandy: Don't be disappointed, Spongebob. A belt isn't the most important thing in karate.
Spongebob: (Depressed) Easy for you to say, Sandy. Your pants aren't down around your ankles.
Fuzzy Acorns: And I'm revoking your black belt. [snatches Sandy's black belt right off]
Sandy: Hey. You can't do that.
Fuzzy Acorns: Oh yes, I can, for wasting my time, bringing me this SORRY EXCUSE FOR A STUDENT! Stick to something you're good at, son.
Spongebob: Yes, sensei. [walks out of Sandy's house, while also having trouble staying up]
Sandy: That was pretty lowdown, Fuzzy. The way you humiliated my friend.
Fuzzy Acorns: The sponge one will never earn his belt.
Sandy: I know Spongebob will impress you if you give him one more chance.
Fuzzy Acorns: Silence. No more chances. Sensei never gives two chances. If you really want to impress me, show me where I can get a decent meal around here. Lunchtime approaches.
Sandy: That's it! (excited) I'll take him to the Krusty Krab and then, he might just find himself impressed by a certain sandwich maker.
Fuzzy Acorns: Who are you talking to?

Unsorted Quotes

SpongeBob SquarePants

  • "Actually, I just have a question about these parking tickets. I don't have a car."
  • "Let go of what kills you, and hold on to what keeps you breathing."
  • "There's nothing good on TV anyway. Nothing."

Patrick Star

  • "Birthday Happy."
  • "Like my mom always said: 'If you can't think of anything to say something nice about someone, don't blow your nose into your hand.'"
  • "We are young , We got wheels, The whole world is our oyster!"
  • "Your potty has a shocky thing in it."

Sandy Cheeks

  • "There's something rotten in the Alamo."
  • "I'm gonna be all over you like ugly on an ape!"
  • "Don't lose your barnacles, boys."
  • "Something smells like rancid rodeo around here."
  • Sandy: "Hey SpongeBob! How're y'all doin'?"

SpongeBob: "Not too close, Sandy. I tend to get smelly when I'm pumping iron. Check it out!" [flexes]
Sandy: "Well, you're smelly."

Eugene Krabs

  • "SpongeBob! You're scaring away me money!"
  • "That's me money walking out the door!"
  • "Hello... may I take your money?"
  • (singing) "Counting me money. Money sweeter than honey. Money money this, money money that. Profit will make me wallet fat!"
  • "After all, money is the ultimate source of joy!"
  • Spongebob: [sadly] "I used to have a dream."
    Mr. Krabs: "Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually."
  • "What doesn't kill you usually gets you on the second attempt."

"You can borrow anything you like, at anytime, as long as you give it back before it's missed."

Fishes

  • SpongeBob: "Squidward, the robots are running the Navy!"
    Squidward: "Not the Navy! [over loudspeaker] Attention, everyone, run for your lives! Robots have taken over the world!" [everyone is silent] "Our world!" [all the customers run out screaming]
  • SpongeBob: "Has the world gone mad?!"
    Fish: "Well, that depends on your definition-"
Retrieved from "https://allthetropes.org/wiki/SpongeBob_SquarePants/Quotes?oldid=1393902"