The Mighty Boosh/Ho Yay

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Because they are totally "Just Friends"

Vince: Honestly, I'm not interested in your wife. I'm in love with someone already. I'm in love with Howard
Howard: Oh yeah, we're in love.
Dennis The Head Shaman: Prove it.

(Vince kisses Howard)

Vince: I thought you loved me.
Howard: That was a momentary lapse.
Vince: Listen, "Fiddler on the Roof," we kissed up there!

Vince: Unbelievable. I've never been chucked in my life, now I'm being chucked by you?
Howard: Come on, you'll find someone else.
Vince: I'll never love again.

You can try to dress it up as some intellectual question but at the end of the day it's just they were tonguing each other

Boosh Qa A, live in London

There's plenty of Ho Yay in The Mighty Boosh, most of it between Howard and Vince, who also have a hell of a lot of UST between them- so much that's it's really not Subtext anymore. In fact, it's Word of God, with Noel Fielding and Julian Barrat admitting that it is a part of the show, but Howard and Vince won't get together any time soon, if at all. The whole thing smells of Last-Minute Hookup but for now, shippers will just have to wait for the fourth season. There's also a bit between Bob Fossil- and well, anything that moves, really.

Tropes used in The Mighty Boosh/Ho Yay include:

  • The longing looks Vince constantly projects at Howard are sort of a dead giveaway
  • There's a very odd running gag between Howard and Vince, where Vince will attempt to stroke Howard's chest. When Howard always pushes him away, Vince seems suspiciously disappointed
    • This whole scenario is made even more suspicious by the fact that in Noel and Julian's short "Sweet", they use the "Don't touch me", "Such a joker", "I'm not kidding", "Ahhhh~", "No, really, don't touch me" joke with Pete (Noel) and Stich (Julian). It's later revealed that Stitch is actually in love with Pete. Needless to say, they become lovers.
  • For some reason, Vince likes to spray paint dirty messages onto the shutters of the shop. The messages describe in varying details all the 'acts' Howard will engage in for money. It gets weirder when Vince insists Howard does engage in those sorts of activities... the question is, how would Vince know? I think we all know the answer to that one: a good, old fashioned dose of UST
  • In 'Fountain of Youth,' Vince has Howard made into his own personal slave. It gets odd when Howard is forced to wear just a loincloth, and Vince has him bought into his tent, then grins in a... erm... very suggestive manner.
    • Not to mention the fact that, the entire time he's left alone to talk with Howard, Vince is twisting the peacock feather around his face, brushing his cheeks with it, all the while lounging on the floor with his lips parted, shirt unbuttoned, never once breaking eye contact. This troper was under the impression that Vince was trying to seduce Howard.
      • Seconded. I don't know about other tropers, But I don't look at my platonic friends the way Vince was looking at Howard.
    • During the audio commentary for this scene, Noel mentions that it was turned into porn by someone on the internet. When Rich expresses disbelief, he adds, "It's true, you can see it on the internet, it's filthy. Slightly turned me on when I read it."
  • In the priest and the beast, Spider nearly has sex with Rudie, albeit by accident.
  • Vince is convinced Howard is in love with him.
  • Howard and Vince have their own romantic theme music, for heavens sake! It's playing during The call of the yeti when Howard and Vince are alone in the cabin, and it's playing during the infamous kiss
  • The episode entitled 'Party' from Season 3 is probably the most infamous in terms of Slash Fic Fuel. Howard toys with the idea of "going gay", though he initially claims not to fancy Vince - but Vince refutes this idea, replying that all men in fact fancy him as he is the "Confuser". Towards the end of the episode, we find out the Howard's never even kissed anyone. He defends it as a choice, saying that when he makes the leap across the "physical boundary," it'll be forever. Later, Howard and Vince kiss (with tongues) for some time, albeit to save Vince's life. After the kiss, Howard 'admits' his love for Vince, claims to be very definitely gay - I think "Massive Gayist" was the exact term he used - and declares that the constant bickering that has defined their relationship from the beginning is a result of the deep sexual tension between them (which is of course what the Yaoi Fangirls had been claiming for ages). Although Vince is shocked by this declaration and denies it all, he becomes very angry and jealous when he sees Howard flirting with a girl. He suddenly appears to be under the impression that he and Howard really were in a relationship and is very bitter about being dumped, claiming that he'll "never love again". He also ultimately finds a himself a girl, but in the next episode, there is no sign of either girl...
    • It's sort of suggested that Vince had been planning to erm... 'uninhibit' Howard for that whole episode
      • By the end of the kiss, they both seem to have totally forgotten the Head Shaman
  • Vince cuts Howard's hair while he's sleeping, which leads to this exchange:
  • Howard and Vince generally behave like a married couple, bickering and reminiscing, and generally acting very domestic. They're more like wife & wife, though, with each cooking for the other, nagging the other, and doing the other's hair, but with Howard butching it up and trying to appear more manly than he really is, Vince, who is completely comfortable with his androgyny, generally falls into a more feminine role. There's also the ever-present but (usually) unacknowledged UST between the two.
    • It's a Running Gag that Vince is constantly mistaken for Howard's wife or girlfriend. What's particularly suspicious is the fact that they never set people straight on the matter. Most of the time they barely even react - maybe the implication is that they're so used to people making that particular mistake they hardly notice any more, but still.
  • When Vince and Howard are about to be frozen to death by Black Frost, their last words to each other are a (slightly embarrassed) declaration of love. Cue awkward silence when Black Frost is killed.
    • They're also tied to one another at the time. Which doesn't help.
    • The whole exchange, for those who were wondering:

Howard: Vince, this is difficult for me, but I feel like I should say this... I love you, Vince.
Vince: [giggles]
Howard: What are you doing?
Vince: [smiling] Nothing.
Howard: Are you laughing?
Vince: No.
Howard: You'd better not be laughing at me now. I'm telling you I love you, how dare you laugh at me!
Vince: But you make me laugh...
Howard: That is so humiliating.
Vince: You just caught me off guard.
Howard: Really?
Vince: Yeah, it was out of the blue.
Howard: I'm telling you I love you and you're laughing at me!
Vince: Well, I love you.
Howard: You don't love me.
Vince: I do.
Howard: You're just saying that because I said it to you. It doesn't work, it doesn't mean anything.
Vince: No. [sincerely] I love you.

  • They are very possessive over one another, and get jealous rather easily. When Lance Dior tries to take Vince's place as Howard'"musical partner", the ensuing argument between Howard and Vince resembles a lovers' tiff more than anything. Actually, the same could probably be said for most of their arguments.
  • Vince is furious after Howard considers joining Lance Dior. Howard admits to liking Lance and missing him after he left, even though he was "all set to hate him," and babbles about how well they go together. Vince insists it's because Lance has been copying Vince exactly, and that the only reason Lance wants anything to do with Howard is because being with Howard all the time will make Lance more like Vince. Howard reassures him that Lance's offer means nothing to him: "I've already got a mate who dresses like a futuristic prostitute."
  • Howard is totally oblivious to Vince's jealously towards anyone who may try and form a relationship with him -- this is quite possibly Selective Obliviousness and his dismissal of Vince's feelings for him in the episode 'Party' certainly are.
  • In the episode 'Jungle', Vince becomes quite jealous when Howard discusses his mentor, Tommy, which leads to Vince angrily shouting at Howard, asking if he's ever going to shut up about Tommy. When Howard says no, Vince moves disturbingly close to him, and asks if Howard was in love with Tommy; Howard denies this, but Vince laughs and asks if he ever kissed him. Sounds fairly innocent, right? well when you watch the scene, it honestly looks as if Vince is going to kiss Howard, he's standing close enough, and he actually leans in before Howard walks away.
  • Vince often stares at Howard.
  • Vince says many, many suggestive things. Howard never notices
  • They live together. In the same room. They appeared to be sleeping in the same bed in 'Killeroo'. Well, okay, it didn't look like their permanent residence as they were on a sort of makeshift bed on the floor (why? we just don't know), but it hasn't stopped the image from cropping up in almost every Howince Slashvid on youtube.
  • As videos like this demonstrate, the actors who play Howard and Vince (although they are both straight and have long-term girlfriends) are frequently to be found draped over one another, hugging, holding hands, even kissing. Nothing wrong with that of course, but it does add fuel to the fire.
    • Even two years since their last Live tour, when the pair of them have barely been seen together having been working on separate projects, some fans have notably been losing interest, especially in the slash. Then Noel Fielding participates in a celebrity dance show for charity where he's dressed (complete with red dress and long, brown wig) as Kate Bush, dancing her video for Wuthering Heights. All thoughts of the Ho Yay being dead vanished when at the end of his dance on the live final, "Heathcliff" arrives to sweep "Cathy" off her feet. Cue long lost slashers flocking back to the forums.
  • It's revealed (and demonstrated rather memorably) in Series 3 that one of Howard and Vince's favourite hobbies is jumping around in their underwear and throwing satsumas at each other. We can only imagine what Freud might have said on the subject.
  • Vince is almost certainly bisexual anyway (his brain-cell confirmed it in 'Journey to the Centre of the Punk'), and Howard once proclaimed he could go gay any second.
  • Old Gregg is madly in love with Howard (it doesn't help that Old Gregg is played by Noel Fielding, who also plays Vince Noir.) Old Gregg kidnaps Howard and attempts to force him into marriage. In the Live Show, Howard and Gregg actually do end up together (a source of major Squee for many fans). They share a full-on kiss and then Howard wheels Gregg offstage in a wheelbarrow - it is mentioned earlier that Howard's pulling technique consists of placing the object of his affection in a wheelbarrow. Also, in the deleted scenes of Series 3, the "pencil case girl", who is about the only female Howard has ever hooked up with for the duration of the show, is revealed to be Old Gregg in disguise.
  • Vince admits that after getting very drunk he once ended up in Howard's wheelbarrow.
  • The Spirit of Jazz (again, played by Fielding) claims that he wants to be "inside" Howard, "wearing him like a glove". Although he doesn't seem to grasp the potential implications of his statement, and appears baffled when Howard asks him to stop saying such blatantly suggestive things.
  • A really weird example here...when Howard and Vince kiss in the aforementioned 'Party' episode, the Head Shaman Dennis (also played by Julian Barratt, i.e. Howard) is watching them - he thinks his wife is cheating on him with Vince, and Vince's attempts to convince him otherwise are what led to the kiss in the first place - and it's implied that Dennis has a rather, um, unexpected reaction to the man-on-man proceedings. He immediately excuses himself, claiming that he needs to "go away and re-think some basic principles."
  • There's some Ho Yay between Howard and Montgomery Flange (yes, also played by Noel Fielding), who is briefly employed as Howard's acting coach, and very much wishes to watch Howard skip around in the bracken wearing tights.
  • Demented zoo owner Bob Fossil is clearly in love with Dixon Bainbridge, although his affections are not returned.
  • Bob Fossil also attempts to kiss Naboo. In the Live Show it's implied that Fossil and Bollo had a fling at some point.
    • Not so much implied as blatantly stated, really.
  • Bob Fossil sometimes seems rather attached to Vince, especially in series 3 and the original Radio Show (during which he made Vince sit on his knee, and kept offering him massages).
  • Tony Harrison and Lester Corncrake. Tony is a giant pink head with a 'multi textured hexagonal alien penis.' Hilarity ensues.
  • Naboo and Bollo (a giant talking ape) behave like husband and wife on several occasions.
  • In 'Call of the Yeti', Kodiak Jack is very taken with Vince and tries to rape him.
  • Alan (the Blue Tribe Leader from Xooberon) absolutely adores Vince and caters to his every whim, calls him "my dear sweet gorgeous lord", writes him songs with suggestive lyrics about sticking his fingers up...somewhere, and even cuts off his own hand and presents it to Vince in a giftwrapped box as a slightly bizarre sign of his devotion (it took him ages to wrap).
  • Both Alan and Kodiac Jack (both played by Rich Fulcher) greet Vince by licking his hand.
  • Vince once remarks that he thinks the Hitcher "has a certain bony charm". Even if it weren't for the fact that Noel Fielding (i.e. Vince) actually plays the Hitcher himself, the prospect of slash involving the two characters would have been alarming. As it is...eep.
  • The Hitcher sort of implies a liking for Howard. At least, he claims to love him and announces that if Howard were a woman he'd rape him behind the shop counter. He then pisses in Howard's face for an inordinate length of time, which is bound to be someone'sidea of a come-on (okay, this sounds more like assault than affection, but they're basically one and the same where the Hitcher's concerned).
  • Continuing in the sexual assault theme, Donnie the Tramp also quite likes Vince (it's unclear whether he fully realises that Vince is male) and plans to rape him in a bin. He changes his mind however when Vince gives him a beautiful cape as a kind of tenuous apology to Howard (long story) and he then decides that he positively loves Vince, and tries to defend him from the evil Crack Fox.
  • I can't believe Saboo and Tony Harrison have yet to be mentioned. Okay, one of them's a snarky humanoid shaman and the other's a...weird pink head with tentacles. But seriously, the Belligerent Sexual Tension is undeniable. And things get very freaky when Saboo is rubbing sun screen into Tony's head.
  • In 'The Power of the Crimp', after Vince and Howard break into a crimp in order to intimidate Lance Dior and Harold Boom, Vince states, 'Those crimps are private, our things for nighttimes when we are alone.' Really
    • Later in the same episode, when they find out that Lance and Harold stole their crimp they also say something along the lines of "We've been crimping for years! In our room, at night times, but we have been doing it!" They share a bedroom, do they?
  • There's a serious 'that didn't happen' moment for Howard and Vince in the frequently referred-to episode, 'Party'. After Vince tells Howard how he feels, Howard awkwardly and uncomfortably has to give Vince a just friends speech. Among other things, he says, 'Vince, that was a momentary lapse of judgement.' Ironic since not a few moments earlier, Vince had to give the same speech to Howard.
  • Notice in the scene right after the kiss, Howard states that the two have a deep, molten powerful sexual tension between them. Whilst Vince denies loving Howard, he certainly doesn't say anything about not being attracted to him.
    • Actually, Vince never even denies loving Howard. He just thinks Howard's crazy to love him.
  • What, no examples from the Radio Series? It's got plenty, but a particularly shiny one involves Ceruvial Brooks (Voiced by Noel), a man with the legs of a ram who wants desperately to marry a pretty lady, and Tony Ice (voiced by Julian), a "traveling hobo". Suffice to say that Ceruvial initially mistakes Tony for a lovely lady, and the two proceed to do a duet. The song being Married on the Morrow, which is probably the closest thing to a love song in the Boosh. It's also more than a bit implied that from Ceruvial's end at least, it's directed at Tony, not just generally about love. (Tiny little eyes? Come on now.)
    • It's not close to a love song; it is a love song
  • Don't forget to consider 'What's Inside That Counts.' The name says it all. Ahem.
  • In 'The Nightmare of Milky Joe,' Howard attempts to eat Vince (no! not that way. In a cannibalistic way). Vince is very confused and asks Howard if he is trying to 'Come onto him'. When Howard denies this, Vince stares at him for a few seconds and then says, 'Are you sure you're not coming onto me?'. That's Ho Yay if I ever saw it
  • In the live future sailors tour, Sunflash, played by Noel Fielding, is an effeminate, mini-skirt-wearing oddball with a really weird accent which he claims is a mixture of 'Chinese and Chav- Chavese.' He's quite obviously gay, and is in a long term relationship with his sex partner/robot. They kiss at least four times during the show, and at one point Sunflash says 'we love each other'
    • Also, at the end of Sunflash and said robot's song, they cuddle and Sunflash says very quickly, "We bum each other!"
    • In that same show, Vince asks Howard if he is going to 'bum' him. Yeah. That's hardly subtext anymore, is it?
      • Especially when you take into account that in another show of the same tour, they decided that Wednesdays are bumming days. Howard's response when Vince asks if he's going to bum him? "...Better make it Wednesday..."
        • In that same show, Vince slaps Howard on the arse. Really
  • In 'Killeroo', when Howard reveals that he has naked pictures of himself in an envelope, Vince's first action is to seize the envelope and look inside. Howard then tries to strip.
  • Literally every single conversation between them sounds like flirting. For example, Howard once threatened to put his moves on Vince Vince's response? to tell Howard he has 'felt his moves' which are 'like being caressed by natural yoghurt.'
    • Not to mention that was their first conversation in the first episode.
    • Especially blatant here is the fact that these two can often be found staring at each other or staring into each other's eyes. At the end of the clip, Howard finally looks at the camera and has to push Vince, who's still staring at him, out of the frame.
      • That scene is made especially blatant by the fact that Vince appears to be egging Howard on:

Howard: Don't start showing out!
Vince: Or what? (smirk)

    • This is quite honestly one of the things that made me a fan of the show, opening that way. Vince flirted so hard with Howard, it was unreal. He spent that whole opening scene staring and grinning while Howard tried to act all manly. I can't believe this is at the bottom of the page... IT'S THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS ON THE SHOW.
      • Not to mention that Vince is staring at Howard the entire time. You can feel the UST a mile off
  • In Mighty Boosh Live, Vince tries his best to get Howard into a pair of tiny pink underpants. When Howard refuses, Vince wears them on his head instead. A short while later when Howard strips, he is shown to actually be wearing the underpants.