The Venture Bros./Quotes: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|'''Phantom Limb (to Brock)''': "[[Made of Iron|I have removed the bullet. And three others, a blowgun dart, two shark's teeth, a tip of a bayonet, a twisted paperclip, and a meager handful of buckshot.]] You may want to learn how to duck."}} |
{{quote|'''Phantom Limb (to Brock)''': "[[Made of Iron|I have removed the bullet. And three others, a blowgun dart, two shark's teeth, a tip of a bayonet, a twisted paperclip, and a meager handful of buckshot.]] You may want to learn how to duck."}} |
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{{quote|'''Hunter Gathers (to Brock)''': "Lesson number one: trust no one. [[Conspiracy Theorist|The minute God crapped out the third caveman, a conspiracy was hatched against one of them.]] Get up, damn you! ''(throws Brock a jetpack)'' Strap 'er on kid, your training starts now. When I'm through with you, you'll be a member of the elite agency that's been thanklessly defending this big-ass country since the second American Revolution.... the invisible one. Welcome to the Office of Secret Intelligence, Samson! |
{{quote|'''Hunter Gathers (to Brock)''': "Lesson number one: trust no one. [[Conspiracy Theorist|The minute God crapped out the third caveman, a conspiracy was hatched against one of them.]] Get up, damn you! ''(throws Brock a jetpack)'' Strap 'er on kid, your training starts now. When I'm through with you, you'll be a member of the elite agency that's been thanklessly defending this big-ass country since the second American Revolution.... the invisible one. Welcome to the Office of Secret Intelligence, Samson!}} |
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{{quote|'''Brock''': "''(sigh)'' So. [[Wouldn't Hit a Girl|No women]], [[Wouldn't Hurt a Child|no children]] — |
{{quote|'''Brock''': "''(sigh)'' So. [[Wouldn't Hit a Girl|No women]], [[Wouldn't Hurt a Child|no children]] —" |
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'''Hunter''': "No women, no children. Them's rules. Seperates us from the baddies. |
'''Hunter''': "No women, no children. Them's rules. Seperates us from the baddies." |
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'''Brock''': "But what if she's an enemy agent? |
'''Brock''': "But what if she's an enemy agent?" |
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'''Hunter''': "Uh-uh. |
'''Hunter''': "Uh-uh." |
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'''Brock''': "An assassin? |
'''Brock''': "An assassin?" |
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'''Hunter''': "No. |
'''Hunter''': "No." |
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'''Brock''': "A double-agent assassin who just killed the President. |
'''Brock''': "A double-agent assassin who just killed the President." |
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'''Hunter''': "No sir. Non-lethal takedown only. President killed the president anyway, you know that. |
'''Hunter''': "No sir. Non-lethal takedown only. President killed the president anyway, you know that." |
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'''Brock''': "Oh. Hey, how about, you know, uh... a lady Dracula? |
'''Brock''': "Oh. Hey, how about, you know, uh... a lady Dracula?" |
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'''Hunter''': "You mean, le vampyr? Nosferatu? |
'''Hunter''': "You mean, le vampyr? Nosferatu?" |
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'''Brock''': "I guess. |
'''Brock''': "I guess." |
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'''Hunter''': "Undead. Not technically a woman in that regard, so you got no beef there. Also, fictitious. ''(Brock lifts a baguette to his mouth)'' Do not eat that, it's C4! |
'''Hunter''': "Undead. Not technically a woman in that regard, so you got no beef there. Also, fictitious." ''(Brock lifts a baguette to his mouth)'' "Do not eat that, it's C4!"}} |
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{{quote|'''Osiris Priest''': "Give me the Hand of Osiris!'' |
{{quote|'''Osiris Priest''': "Give me the Hand of Osiris!'' |
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'''Dr. Venture''': "Join the club!'' }} |
'''Dr. Venture''': "Join the club!'' }} |
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{{quote|'''Osiris Cultist''': "Ooh yeah, of course, OIL. Yeah, it makes sense now. Thought you told me to fill it with hot voile. |
{{quote|'''Osiris Cultist''': "Ooh yeah, of course, OIL. Yeah, it makes sense now. Thought you told me to fill it with hot voile." |
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'''Osiris High Priest''': "Wh-What the hell is voile? |
'''Osiris High Priest''': "Wh-What the hell is voile?" |
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'''Osiris Cultist''': "It's a soft, sheer fabric. I warmed some up in the dryer. |
'''Osiris Cultist''': "It's a soft, sheer fabric. I warmed some up in the dryer." |
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'''Osiris High Priest''': "What the.. are you insane? What kind of torture is that? Get out of here! I'm serious, I don't even want to LOOK at you any more! |
'''Osiris High Priest''': "What the.. are you insane? What kind of torture is that? Get out of here! I'm serious, I don't even want to LOOK at you any more!"}} |
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{{quote|'''Brock''': "Hank, you and [[The Caligula|Caligula]] keep up the rear. ''(Caligula moans happily and hugs Hank)'' On second thought, you and [[Sigmund Freud|Freud]] should do it. Caligula, you take the second wave alone. Ready Dean? |
{{quote|'''Brock''': "Hank, you and [[The Caligula|Caligula]] keep up the rear." ''(Caligula moans happily and hugs Hank)'' "On second thought, you and [[Sigmund Freud|Freud]] should do it. Caligula, you take the second wave alone. Ready Dean?" |
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'''Dean''': "Woah, steady, Perfect Man. Ready Brock! |
'''Dean''': "Woah, steady, Perfect Man. Ready Brock!" |
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'''Brock''': "When the gates open me, [[Edgar Allan Poe|Poe]], and [[My Future Self and Me|me]], ''(pointing to himself from the past)'' rush in. You got that? |
'''Brock''': "When the gates open me, [[Edgar Allan Poe|Poe]], and [[My Future Self and Me|me]]," ''(pointing to himself from the past)'' "rush in. You got that?"}} |
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{{quote|'''Prof. Richard Impossible''': "You see, Dr. Venture, I found the piece your father hid in the foundation years ago. Then I thought about you in physics class. You were a daydreamer, a sass-mouth, and, not infrequently, a bit of a gigglepuss. Somehow I doubt twenty years of amphetamines and failure have done anything to improve that. |
{{quote|'''Prof. Richard Impossible''': "You see, Dr. Venture, I found the piece your father hid in the foundation years ago. Then I thought about you in physics class. You were a daydreamer, a sass-mouth, and, not infrequently, a bit of a gigglepuss. Somehow I doubt twenty years of amphetamines and failure have done anything to improve that."}} |
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{{quote|'''Prof. Impossible''': "Please! This is important! |
{{quote|'''Prof. Impossible''': "Please! This is important!" |
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'''Sally Impossible''': "What could be more important than your family, Richard? |
'''Sally Impossible''': "What could be more important than your family, Richard?" |
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'''Prof. Impossible''': "[[For Science!|Ssssssscience?]] |
'''Prof. Impossible''': "[[For Science!|Ssssssscience?]]"}} |
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{{quote|'''The Monarch''': |
{{quote|'''The Monarch''': ''(sighing)'' "Jollyrancher82, never get henchmen." |
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'''Jollyrancher82''': "You know, that's not my real name. |
'''Jollyrancher82''': "You know, that's not my real name." |
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'''The Monarch''': "Well, how was I supposed to know? I used my real name. |
'''The Monarch''': "Well, how was I supposed to know? I used my real name." |
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'''Jollyrancher82''': "I just thought, you know... |
'''Jollyrancher82''': "I just thought, you know... 'The Monarch,' I thought you were into cosplay..." |
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'''The Monarch''': "Real name! And I am into [[Serious Business|costumed business]], not costumed ''play''." }} |
'''The Monarch''': "Real name! And I am into [[Serious Business|costumed business]], not costumed ''play''." }} |
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'''Dr. Killinger''': "That's not fair. I never chose my figure." }} |
'''Dr. Killinger''': "That's not fair. I never chose my figure." }} |
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{{quote|'''#21''': "You can silence me but there will be others. [[Gratuitous Latin|Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus!]] |
{{quote|'''#21''': "You can silence me but there will be others. [[Gratuitous Latin|Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus!]]" |
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'''Dr. Killinger''': "It's Sic Semper Tyrannis. You said, |
'''Dr. Killinger''': "It's Sic Semper Tyrannis. You said, 'Ever faithful terrible lizard.'" |
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'''#21''': "I did? Cool. |
'''#21''': "I did? Cool."}} |
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{{quote|'''Brock''': "Yeah, he was just this guy... guy in a butterfly suit who got in over his head. And I could see it in his eyes that if I let him get away this one time he'd never come back...but then, I also thought...y'know...Kill 'im. |
{{quote|'''Brock''': "Yeah, he was just this guy... guy in a butterfly suit who got in over his head. And I could see it in his eyes that if I let him get away this one time he'd never come back...but then, I also thought...y'know...Kill 'im."}} |
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{{quote|'''Shaman''': "Quanto! ''(Begins to Mumble)''" |
{{quote|'''Shaman''': "Quanto! ''(Begins to Mumble)''" |
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'''Shaman's Interpreter''': "Wuh - one time, I am in the Amazon, on my canoe, and I see, swim, the dolphin, the, uh, the beautiful dolphin, so I slip out of my canoe, and I grab her, this...fish...and, uh, then [[Crosses the Line Twice|I fucked it... the fish!]]" |
'''Shaman's Interpreter''': "Wuh - one time, I am in the Amazon, on my canoe, and I see, swim, the dolphin, the, uh, the beautiful dolphin, so I slip out of my canoe, and I grab her, this...fish...and, uh, then [[Crosses the Line Twice|I fucked it... the fish!]]" |
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'''Brock''': "The hell's that got to with anything?" |
'''Brock''': "The hell's that got to with anything?" |
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'''Shaman''': "Kayho Hadaile!" |
'''Shaman''': "Kayho Hadaile!" |
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'''Shaman's Interpreter''': "Hot dolphin!" |
'''Shaman's Interpreter''': "Hot dolphin!"}} |
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{{quote|'''Dream Hunter''': "What is all this namby-pamby feel bad about good wet work bullshit?! You're beyond good and evil, Superman! You work for the government." |
{{quote|'''Dream Hunter''': "What is all this namby-pamby feel bad about good wet work bullshit?! You're beyond good and evil, Superman! You work for the government." |
Revision as of 14:20, 11 July 2024
"Love never blows up and gets killed." |
Season One
Hank and Dean: "He started it! |
Brock: "Now, I want you to put your hand around your throat, Hank. |
The Monarch: "Well, Hank, what's it like to be a... liar? Huh? You like being a liar with pants constantly on fire? |
Brock: "No, Dean, this is Guild business, your father isn't in any harm. Guild work is clean, professional. It's surgical with them. In a way they're the only organization I still respect. |
The Monarch, in a Scared Straight Program: "You're probably wondering why you're here, YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU DONE FUCKED UP TOO MANY TIMES! You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a dixie cup! And if you keep like you've been doin', this is where heading." |
Season Two
Phantom Limb (to Brock): "I have removed the bullet. And three others, a blowgun dart, two shark's teeth, a tip of a bayonet, a twisted paperclip, and a meager handful of buckshot. You may want to learn how to duck." |
Hunter Gathers (to Brock): "Lesson number one: trust no one. The minute God crapped out the third caveman, a conspiracy was hatched against one of them. Get up, damn you! (throws Brock a jetpack) Strap 'er on kid, your training starts now. When I'm through with you, you'll be a member of the elite agency that's been thanklessly defending this big-ass country since the second American Revolution.... the invisible one. Welcome to the Office of Secret Intelligence, Samson! |
Brock: "(sigh) So. No women, no children —" |
Osiris Priest: "Give me the Hand of Osiris! |
Osiris Cultist: "Ooh yeah, of course, OIL. Yeah, it makes sense now. Thought you told me to fill it with hot voile." |
Brock: "Hank, you and Caligula keep up the rear." (Caligula moans happily and hugs Hank) "On second thought, you and Freud should do it. Caligula, you take the second wave alone. Ready Dean?" |
Prof. Richard Impossible: "You see, Dr. Venture, I found the piece your father hid in the foundation years ago. Then I thought about you in physics class. You were a daydreamer, a sass-mouth, and, not infrequently, a bit of a gigglepuss. Somehow I doubt twenty years of amphetamines and failure have done anything to improve that." |
Prof. Impossible: "Please! This is important!" |
The Monarch: (sighing) "Jollyrancher82, never get henchmen." |
Dr. Killinger: "The Venture problem is very volatile. We must approach it with caution, but first we need to address other drastic issues. The floating cocoon is in bad need of..." |
#21: "You can silence me but there will be others. Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus!" |
Brock: "Yeah, he was just this guy... guy in a butterfly suit who got in over his head. And I could see it in his eyes that if I let him get away this one time he'd never come back...but then, I also thought...y'know...Kill 'im." |
Shaman: "Quanto! (Begins to Mumble)" |
Dream Hunter: "What is all this namby-pamby feel bad about good wet work bullshit?! You're beyond good and evil, Superman! You work for the government." |
Season Three
Dr. Venture: "We're going to use The Buddy System. The person seated next to you is your buddy. Everyone say, 'Hi, buddy!'" |
The Monarch: "I had true hatred with Venture. I didn't have to fake it! That sweet loathing just poured out of me whenever I saw his pathetic face. I just...I just wanted to kick his ass! I wanted to build a machine to kick his ass! I wanted to build an empire to house the machine TO KICK HIS ASS!" |
Dr. Venture: This is gonna be one of those things, isn't it? |
Brock: "Aww no fuckin' way! Late 60's ultra death ray! She's amazing! Saddle operated with Doom Co. gearing. Freakin' gorgeous." |
Mr Doe: "Jonas Venture Jr?" |
Henchman 21: "You still don't get it. 24 and I have been on, like, a thousand missions. We've been shot at, dipped in acid... |
Season Four
Action Johnny: "You're going to tell me that you didn't send your flunky to murder our therapist with a a Vietnamese two-step Viper?" |
Dr. Girlfriend: "Monstroso? That's what this is about? He's the king of the double cross. I mean, think about it, he's lawyer and a super villian. That's like a shark with a grenade launcher on its head." |
Col. Gathers: "Damn it Shore Leave, you’ve ruined another outfit. Think Betsy Ross works here? I’m the one who has to sew this back together, you clown." |
The Monarch: "Honey, they're henchmen. You don't explain to them, they do your bidding. When you say "jump", they say, "what shark?"" |
Col. Gathers: "Wipe their pink little minds and send them back home, like I told you." |
Col. Gathers: "Ohh, that poor woman has the saddest tits. Damn depressing." |
General Treister: "I want notes, lists and answers by the time I finish this here Juicy Box! Warning: I am thirst-ay! And it is fruit punch! And it is delicious!" |
Dr. Orpheus: "I presume you are the Rusty's Ego?" |
Col. Gathers: "We have no secrets here. When men live and work together, it's imperative that there are no secrets. I miss my breasts! Inside of me, there's a woman screaming to be heard." |
Col. Gathers: "What the hell happened here?" |
- Back to The Venture Bros.