1000 Ways to Die/Funny
- Succu Offed: Two stoners have a shared hallucination after drinking cactus juice and are haunted by the booming voice of the spirit of a saguaro cactus who warns that they will be punished for stealing him from his natural habitat. Both stoners die by not looking where they're going in their attempt to escape the vengeful plant and end up impaled by cacti.
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"Cactus voice": YOU HAVE PERTURBED THE UNIVERRRRRSE OF CACTIIIIIIIIIII! |
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- Boyz 2 Dead: A boy band that used to be popular in the 1990s is now reduced to playing at small clubs for bored audiences. The lead singer hears a woman with a camcorder scream his name and does a stage dive, hoping the audience would catch him. They don't and he ends up dead from the impact damaging his spine. The kicker: the other members of the boy band continue their performance after realizing the lead singer is dead.
- Work Of Fart: A frat boy is trying to win a farting contest by getting a coach with some of the weirdest methods imaginable. The coach dies when the frat boy accidentally ignites a big one, inadvertently setting the coach on fire.
- Even funnier is the frat boy's reaction:
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"Oh, my god! My fart killed you!" |
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- Tali-Bombed: Two terrorists make a suitcase bomb connected to C4, using a GPS timer to have it explode in an hour. Several seconds after they prime the bomb, the timer starts to beep.
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Terrorist 1: Daylight Savings Time! |
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- Em-Bear-Assed: A guy is high on shrooms and finds himself in a furry orgy. Wanting in, he finds a random furry and begins to screw it, only to find that it's an actual bear. He gets mauled. What makes it funnier is the narrator's recap of it.
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Narrator: Let's recap what we learned from Randy's gruesome death: This is your brain, this is your brain on drugs, and this is a bear, ripping out your throat after you tried to have sex with it while you were high on drugs. The lesson? When nature calls, just say no. |
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- Died-Zilla: A woman who was in rehab for a drug addiction is getting married and receives bath salts as a wedding gift, which she snorts like cocaine. For the next couple of days, she acts nuts and when she finally gets to the altar, she drops dead from hyperthermia caused by a chemical in the bath salts. While everyone else is panicking over the bride's death, the best man and his buddy punch hands, as if they knew that the bride's death was some higher-power's way of saving their groom friend from getting married to a whacked-out harpy (the moment is subtle, but it's there).
- Colon-Gross-Oppy: A tomboy competes with her immature roommates in various contests, such as drinking beer and blowing balloons. When the time for a farting contest begins, she decides to one up them by sticking a can of whipped cream into her butt. But the gas from the can destroys her from the inside, killing her. As soon as the roommates show up to see what happened, though...
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[The dead girl, who is bent over a couch with her butt sticking up, lets out a fart -- and blood sprays onto one of the roommates' face.] |
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- Down With The Clown: A birthday party clown named Funny Eddie is out to destroy a hip-hop Horrorcore duo called Infernal Clown Posse because he thinks they're ruining the reputation of clowns everywhere. Funny Eddie crashes one of their concerts and tries to get onstage, but gets hit in the head with a soda bottle. When he comes to, he decides to pull the plug on the concert and upstage the group. Turns out it's not such a good idea, as being drenched in soda made the clown conducive to the electricity in the wires and he got fried. Infernal Clown Posse's response: "IN! YOUR! FACE!"
- Even the ads can be pretty funny. The mere concept of The Grim Reaper doing Stand Up Comedy to describe the show is LOL-worthy.
- Gas Holed: A proctologist who has a thing for women's asses forgets to tell a stripper (who suffered rectal injury during a porno movie shoot) with a nice ass to not eat anything before operating on her. She eats a HUGE chilli dog and later lets out a big fart during the surgery. . . accidentally blowing up the cauterizer and burning the Dirty Old Man doc's face and lungs.
- Apocalypse Harley: In an homage to Apocalypse Now, a Marlon Brando-esque mercenary is hired to take down a Charlie Sheen-esque actor who's been all over the news for his cocaine abuse, his violence against women, and his erratic behavior (i.e., believing that he's a wizard and claiming that he gets all his powers from tiger blood). When the mercenary finally gets his man, the actor goes berserk and breaks out his machete to fight back against the mercenary. In his cocaine-and-tiger-blood-fueled insanity, the actor trips and impales himself on his own weapon. As his live-in floozies gather around him, the actor sputters, "Winning!" before dying. Bonus funny points for one of the floozies asking if the actor was "winning" or dying.
- Doggy Style: Two drunk hunters go hunt ducks with their dog. They try to use dynamite to kill the ducks without shooting them, but the dog mistakes this as a game and returns the dynamite sticks to them, accidentally killing them as it explodes. Made even funnier because it's all from the dog's POV; you can pretty much hear the Looney Tunes theme in the background.