Charlie Sheen

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If you ain't living life the Charlie Sheen way, you're not WINNING.

"I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen! It's not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."

Carlos Irwin Estevez (born September 3, 1965), better known by his Stage Names Charlie Sheen, is an American actor. He is the son of acclaimed actor Martin Sheen, brother of rather less acclaimed actor Emilio Estevez, and nephew of even less well acclaimed actor Joe Estevez. If you ask him, Adonis and tigers somehow figure into his ancestry as well.

His character roles in films have included Chris Taylor in the 1986 Vietnam War drama Platoon, Jake Kesey in the 1986 film The Wraith, and Bud Fox in the 1987 film Wall Street. His career has also included more comedic films, such as Major League, the Hot Shots films, and Scary Movie 3 and 4. He also had a small role in Ferris Buellers Day Off. On television, Sheen is known for his roles on two sitcoms: as Charlie Crawford on Spin City and as Charlie Harper on Two and A Half Men. As of 2010, Sheen was the highest-paid actor on television, earning $1.8 million per episode of Two and A Half Men.

In 2010 he dove far off the deep end into self-destructive madness. He passed a urine test, which shows that his "unusual" behavior may not be due to (recent) drug use, a substance that quickly metabolizes, or withdrawal from drugs. A Twitter account he created garnered 80,000 followers before he ever wrote a thing, and raced right past the million mark in one day to 1.4 million followers, beating even Oprah.

Alternatively, he may be shrewdly transforming his strange self-destructive behavior into revenue: his "Torpedo of Truth" tour has garnished a fair amount of money, much of which Sheen has donated to charity.

Charlie Sheen is infused with these winning tropes:
  • Ascended Meme: Cable stations are already using some of his... unusual quotes to advertise for Two and A Half Men and Spin City re-runs.
    • He has referred to his costars as "trolls", and "not trolls".
  • Ax Crazy: Was recently spotted on top of a building, waving a machete around.
    • Said incident was because one of the employees in the building saw Charlie Sheen there, grabbed his ornamental machete from his office, and asked him if he would. His reaction: Viva la revolucion!
  • Badass Spaniard: The tiger blood and Adonis DNA helps.
  • Bored with Insanity: According to himself
  • But Not Too Foreign: Like his father, he took an English-sounding stage name for marketability. The sad thing is, compared to Emilio Estevez's lukewarm career, it seems to have worked.
  • Casanova: His character on Two and A Half Men and apparently in Real Life as well, though only to "goddesses and smoooookin' hotties".
  • Catch Phrase: "winning" or something to do with his status as a Winner.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: See the "Charlie Sheen drug" quote above.
  • Creator Breakdown: Well, more of an actor breakdown. But, what the media never really emphasised is the fact that Charlie did basically have a massive, public breakdown. His outbursts can be seen as his way of getting out of a show he wanted to leave since the year before, Gone Horribly Right.
  • Cursed with Awesome: Or so he believes:

Interviewer: Are you bi-polar?
Sheen: Wow, what does that mean?... What's the cure? Medicine? Make me like them? Not going to happen. I'm bi-WINNING! I win here and I win there.

"I probably took more than anybody could survive... I was bangin' seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll... I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man... Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."