Charlie Sheen

"I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen! It's not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."

Carlos Irwin Estevez (born September 3, 1965), better known by his Stage Names Charlie Sheen, is an American actor. He is the son of acclaimed actor Martin Sheen, brother of rather less acclaimed actor Emilio Estevez, and nephew of even less well acclaimed actor Joe Estevez. If you ask him, Adonis and tigers somehow figure into his ancestry as well.

His character roles in films have included Chris Taylor in the 1986 Vietnam War drama Platoon, Jake Kesey in the 1986 film The Wraith, and Bud Fox in the 1987 film Wall Street. His career has also included more comedic films, such as Major League, the Hot Shots films, and Scary Movie 3 and 4. He also had a small role in Ferris Buellers Day Off. On television, Sheen is known for his roles on two sitcoms: as Charlie Crawford on Spin City and as Charlie Harper on Two and A Half Men. As of 2010, Sheen was the highest-paid actor on television, earning $1.8 million per episode of Two and A Half Men.

In 2010 he dove far off the deep end into self-destructive madness. He passed a urine test, which shows that his "unusual" behavior may not be due to (recent) drug use, a substance that quickly metabolizes, or withdrawal from drugs. A Twitter account he created garnered 80,000 followers before he ever wrote a thing, and raced right past the million mark in one day to 1.4 million followers, beating even Oprah.

Alternatively, he may be shrewdly transforming his strange self-destructive behavior into revenue: his "Torpedo of Truth" tour has garnished a fair amount of money, much of which Sheen has donated to charity.

Charlie Sheen is infused with these winning tropes:

Ascended Meme: Cable stations are already using some of his... unusual quotes to advertise for Two and A Half Men and Spin City re-runs.
- He has referred to his costars as "trolls", and "not trolls".
Ax Crazy: Was recently spotted on top of a building, waving a machete around.
- Said incident was because one of the employees in the building saw Charlie Sheen there, grabbed his ornamental machete from his office, and asked him if he would. His reaction: Viva la revolucion!
Badass Spaniard: The tiger blood and Adonis DNA helps.
Bored with Insanity: According to himself
But Not Too Foreign: Like his father, he took an English-sounding stage name for marketability. The sad thing is, compared to Emilio Estevez's lukewarm career, it seems to have worked.
Casanova: His character on Two and A Half Men and apparently in Real Life as well, though only to "goddesses and smoooookin' hotties".
- Also, prostitutes.
Catch Phrase: "winning" or something to do with his status as a Winner.
- Also seems fond of High Priest Vatican Assassin Warlocks
Cloudcuckoolander: See the "Charlie Sheen drug" quote above.
Creator Breakdown: Well, more of an actor breakdown. But, what the media never really emphasised is the fact that Charlie did basically have a massive, public breakdown. His outbursts can be seen as his way of getting out of a show he wanted to leave since the year before, Gone Horribly Right.
Cursed with Awesome: Or so he believes:

Interviewer: Are you bi-polar?
Sheen: Wow, what does that mean?... What's the cure? Medicine? Make me like them? Not going to happen. I'm bi-WINNING! I win here and I win there.

The Danza / Meta Casting / Adam Westing: Based on recent events, he appears to be playing a toned down version of himself on Two and A Half Men.
Disposable Sex Worker: He hasn't murdered anyone yet, but there was even a an op-ed with the title The Disposable Woman, which argued that his abuse of women was ignored in part because some of his victims were from the sex industry.
Domestic Abuser: Has threatened to kill multiple exes. He actually shot Kelly Preston, though they both claim it was an accident.
Drugs Are Bad: Has had a troubled history with substance abuse, notoriously with alcohol and cocaine. According to his Feb. 2011 phone interviews, he was able to close his eyes and cure himself of his addictions with his mind in nanoseconds, much to the relief of the general public and the chagrin of those "losers" over at Alcoholics Anonymous.
- He's only on one drug called Charlie Sheen! You couldn't take it because your face would melt off and then you'd explode, but he's winning!!!
- He's also said in a radio interview that crack is bad and you shouldn't take it unless you can handle it socially.
Hookers and Blow: A big part of his life.
Hypocrisy Fail: In the rant that lead to his being fired from Two and A Half Men, Sheen mocked his producer Chuck Lorre for supposedly changing his name from "Chaim" to "Chuck" to fit in in Hollywood. Coming from someone who was born "Carlos Estevez", this rings a bit hollow. (Lorre's real name is Charles Levine, for what it's worth.)
Ice Cream Koan: "Can't is the cancer of happen."
Immune to Drugs: Again, so he believes:

"I probably took more than anybody could survive... I was bangin' seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll... I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man... Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."

Jerkass: Would anyone dispute this?
Juggalo: No, really.
Large Ham: Although, funnily enough, not in his work. Oliver Stone hired him for Wall Street because he liked Charlie's 'stiff' acting style.
- He does slip into Large Ham mode at times in The Arrival, especially near the end.
McLeaned: His character on Two and A Half Men was Killed Off for Real.
Off the Rails: His appearance on Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza, in a sketch where the players take turns telling one line apiece of a fairy-tale type story. His line? "Charlie Sheen fucks dead hookers!"
- The Comedy Central roast of him used "Crazy Train" as a theme song.
Role-Ending Misdemeanor: Took long enough.
- It might take Charlie a lot longer to admit that it's over. Still winning though!
Stealth Parody: One look at the "Charlie Sheen Cooking Show" video he made and it's clear he might just be messing with everyone. He later stated on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno that he was just joking with saying things like he had "tiger blood" and "Adonis DNA".
Stupid Statement Dance Mix: Yes, one exists. (With material like this, are you surprised? If so, welcome to Web 2.0, and how is 1999, anyway?)
Tenchi Solution: He was dating and living with porn stars Bree Olson and Natalie Kenly at the same time for a while, but eventually they both left him.
The Roast: In September 2011, he was the subject of the Comedy Central Roast.
The Tyson Zone: Bill Simmons, who coined the term, even said Sheen is the best example since Mike Tyson himself ("Sheen can't even be described as "debaucherous" anymore; it belittles what he's doing.").
Ubermensch: Seems to see himself as one.