Hemostuck

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
I'm a very boring person, I suppose. But I'm okay with that. I have to be, don't I?

A Homestuck fanfiction by Roachpatrol and Urbananchorite.

Alternia: where warm blood defines a troll's nobility, cold blood their commonality, and Her Imperial Luminescence Aradia Megido struggles to keep her people together. Whether or not she can do it before Ascension Day is another thing entirely.

In other words, where some fanfictions switch around the blood colors of the trolls, Hemostuck does a complete spectrum reversal with Aradia her Imperial Luminescence at the top and saltlickers Eridan and Feferi at the bottom. It's a gorgeously illustrated story that's as much about the characters as it is about the world they live in, with new gods and blue blood death matches and so much more. At the moment, it's split into three parts: Pretty Little Windstorm, which focuses on Tavros being a resignedly badass dork and his uncouth lowblood friend who drags him on unseemly adventures; Fisher Prince, which tells the story of Eridan Fucking Ampora, the swaggest seadweller to stalk the docks; and Lost Teeth Like White Jewels, a tale of how Karkat, a stubbornly atheist member of the Threshecutioner Corps gets involved in both hunting seamonsters and ridiculously tangled quadrant drama.

The stories themselves can be read here. Background information and tidbits of what lies ahead (there is quite a lot of thought being put into this great honking AU) can be found on this blog and in Roachpatrol's Hemostuck tag.

Tropes used in Hemostuck include:
  • All There in the Manual: The Hemostuck Tumblr and the notes on Roach's provide further information that can't be crammed into the story.
  • Alternate Universe Fic: Oh, so very much. One, the hemospectrum is reversed. Two, no such thing as Sburb. Three, there might be more worldbuilding in this fic than there is in the comic proper. And four, the original human kids (and Karkat) are actual, definite gods who are taking a very close interest in the affairs of mortal trolls, especially a certain twelve.
  • Awesome Yet Practical: Vriska's flying motorcycle (proudly sporting the glorious name that is Fucksl8yer). Very handy for kidnapping members of state for the sake of participating in a death match over the mountains.
  • Badass: Eridan, of all people, complete with Badass Boast.

"I'm Eridan fucking Ampora, thank you ever so," you snap. "I'm half shark and half hurricane, you get me? I can outrun, outfight, and outfuck any ten trolls put together and this was never your glubbin show in the first place!"

  • Badass Adorable: Tavros, who is half metal alloy, half Adorkable, and a well-hidden core of Unstoppable Rage.
  • Badass Cape: Subverted, Eridan just thinks Sollux's cape makes him look like a nerd.
  • Bizarre Alien Reproduction: As explained here.
  • Blood Sport: A series of death matches going on between the blue bloods that Vriska's involved with. Has a lot to do with politics. And cannibalism, because why not? Through shenanigans, Vriska ends up getting Tavros crowned as the Blue King, which definitely won't have any negative repercussions at all.
  • The Consigliere: Tavros to Aradia.

Tavros: It is, uh, totally the duty of the Empire's Grand Premier to behave with grace and diligent responsibility to each of her Luminesence's subjects, as he's, uh, the clear water that reflects the benevolence of, uh, her holy flame.

  • Costume Porn: Court dress is fancy as can be.
  • Covered with Scars: Some trolls perform ritual scarification to dedicate themselves to a particular godhead - an atom for Frost and Frogs, a lightning bolt for Wind and Shade, and so on. Any ritual scar is the mark of someone pushing the far side of "zealot". So it's both alarming and unsurprising that Terezi has covered her entire upper body including her arms and minus her head with the iconography of Heat and Clockwork, crashing straight through "tribute" and out the other side to, in the words of the creators, "an epidermal dirty love letter." To God.
  • Death Is Cheap: Karkat, at one point in Lost Teeth, pushes himself too far, has a heart attack, pukes blood, and dies, for real no pulse or breath busted heart and brain dead gone. Then he comes back. This has apparently occurred before.
  • Despair Event Horizon: Eridan experiences this when he thinks Feferi has been killed.
  • Even the Guys Want Him: Karkat. Everyone Is Bi as in canon, Karkat's job is to essentially pass out the hots to the whole goddamn world, and gosh, he delivers.
  • Everything's Deader with Zombies: Zombies feature heavily in Fisher-Prince. Why? Because they're awesome.
  • Expanded Universe
  • Fantastic Ghetto: The seadwellers get forced into the ghetto 'round the docks, and some of the worse-off end up living in what passes for the sewers.
  • Fantasy Pantheon: A well-thought-out one, in which each of the original four kids of Homestuck is represented; and (somewhat bizarrely) Karkat, even though he is definitely living on Alternia being mortal. Having Rose as a Goddess introduces the rather intriguing concept of her taint creating zombies out of recently killed trolls. From the last chapter of Fisher Prince, it can be surmised that she's using Eridan as an avatar for her grimdark purposes.
  • Flat Earth Atheist: Eridan. Sort of.
    • As of Lost Teeth, this is definitely Karkat.
  • Ill Boy: Karkat.
  • Impossibly Cool Clothes: There exists such a thing as formal dress armor designed to be simultaneously functional and awesome. There are clacky lacquered gloves that go with full-length gowns; there are knee-high boots with cloven toes and three-inch heels; there are double-breasted jackets or frock-coats on pretty much anybody. And there is so much jewelry. And that's just formal wear for the aristocracy or public servants. Blue-blood casual wear especially is Hell-Bent for Leather and they have more piercings than you'd think would fit on any given body part, and Eridan, even as a dirt-poor sea-dweller, dresses so sharp he'd cut himself if he wasn't getting cuts all the time anyway from random knife-fights. But...
  • Impossibly Tacky Clothes: ...Sollux Captor kind of overdoes it, in that he includes all three primary colors in his outfits, has a weird fixation with bees and swans around in a high-collared cape. To look upon him is to go gaudily deaf.
  • Looking for Love In All the Wrong Places: Eridan.
  • Love Dodecahedron: Karkat's section of the clade is rather messed-up around the time of Lost Teeth.
  • The Messiah: Karkat loves the whole world. The whole world loves Karkat right back.
  • Mythopoeia: The authors have created own mythology pertaining to the five gods of Alternia. Readers are allowed to submit their own myths as well, and do so with reckless abandon. The Gods are based on the four original kids (and Karkat, sort of), like so:
    • The God of Pulse and Haze, who governs voids, within and without; these include domain over space, romance, the future, the soul and destiny.
    • The God of Heat and Clockwork, who governs the sun, order, intelligence, machines, progress and justice.
    • The God of Frost and Frogs, who governs the jade moon, healing, sleep, dreams, nurturing love and rebirth.
    • The God of Wind and Shade, who governs the sky, luck, fortune, chaos, bravery, joy and opportunity.
    • The God of Light and Rain, who governs the rose moon, rain, the ocean, secrets, rage, vengeance and destruction.
  • Official Couple: So many that it requires a shipping chart to keep track of all of them.
  • The Ophelia: Feferi is very beautiful (all the more so because she's a pretty seadweller who has no scars or injuries at all; they tend to be Covered with Scars and shabbily dressed and generally look like shit) and has a tenuous grasp on reality.
  • Our Zombies Are Different: The methods for creating a zombie are numerous and varied. Also messy.
  • Promotion to Parent: The basis of their being moirails is how Eridan and Feferi agreed to be something like each other's lusii when they were kids and found themselves orphaned.
  • Rape as Backstory: Kanaya, Eridan. See below.
  • Rape as Drama: Kanaya and Eridan have had hard lives.
  • Self-Made Orphan: Karkat.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: Eridan works extremely hard for this, to the point of obsessing over stains in his single well-made jacket. Karkat, in his fancy Threshecutioner outfit, pulls this off effortlessly. Sollux doesn't look too shabby in his pinstripes and waistcoat, either.
  • Smoking Is Cool: All through Pretty Little Windstorm, Tavros can be seen trying very hard to abstain while everyone but his moirail is annoyed at how tetchy he gets without his fix. By the end, he gives up on quitting and rejoins Vriska in the terrible wonderful habit.
  • Tangled Family Tree: Like you wouldn't believe. Yet somehow it keeps from being dysfunctional.
  • Unresolved Sexual Tension: Confirmed by the authors that there is definitely a thing between Karkat and Eridan, although they try to ignore it most of the time.
  • With This Ring: Trolls exchange rings when they officially become a couple in any quadrant, though it's rarest in the ashen. One of Eridan's more regular sources of income is pawning off Sollux' kismesis ring to annoy him.