Schmuck Bait/Quotes: Difference between revisions

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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(Consolidated the credits to the identical quotes from "The Magician's Nephew", then removed the duplicate. Did other minor cleanup at the same time.)
 
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{{quote|''Make your choice, adventerous stranger''<br />
{{quote|''Make your choice, adventurous stranger''
''Strike the bell and bide the danger''<br />
''Strike the bell and bide the danger''
''Or wonder till it drives you mad''<br />
''Or wonder till it drives you mad''
''What would have happened if you had''
''What would have happened if you had''|An inscription on a pedestal with a small bell and hammer on it, from ''[[The Magicians Nephew]]''. [[Sealed Evil in a Can|You don't want to know]] [[Nice Job Breaking It, Hero|what happens if]] [[What an Idiot!|you fall for it]].}}
|An inscription on a pedestal with a small bell and hammer on it, from ''[[The Magician's Nephew]]'', by [[C. S. Lewis]]. [[Sealed Evil in a Can|You don't want to know]] [[Nice Job Breaking It, Hero|what happens]] if [[What an Idiot!|you fall for it]].}}


{{quote|'''Budnick''': You can trash whatever you want to trash, destroy whatever you want to destroy and nobody will punish you or bother you you'll have complete freedom.<br />
{{quote|'''Budnick''': You can trash whatever you want to trash, destroy whatever you want to destroy and nobody will punish you or bother you you'll have complete freedom.
'''Ellen''': Great.<br />
'''Ellen''': Great.
'''Budnick''': The only way you will be punished is if you push that little red button over there but you will only be bringing the punishment on yourself.<br />
'''Budnick''': The only way you will be punished is if you push that little red button over there but you will only be bringing the punishment on yourself.
'''Ellen''': Oh yeah, what kind of punishment?<br />
'''Ellen''': Oh yeah, what kind of punishment?
'''Budnick''': You'll find out but don't say I didn't warn you.|''[[Salute Your Shorts]]''}}
'''Budnick''': You'll find out but don't say I didn't warn you.
|''[[Salute Your Shorts]]''}}


{{quote|''Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying "End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH", the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.''|[[Discworld/Thief of Time|Thief Of Time]], 26th [[Discworld]] novel}}
{{quote|''Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying "End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH", the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.''|[[Thief Of Time]], 26th [[Discworld]] novel}}


{{quote|''I will not include a [[Self-Destruct Mechanism]] unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a [[Big Red Button|large red button]] labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a [[Bullet Hell|spray of bullets]] on anyone [[Too Dumb to Live|stupid enough to disregard it]]. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.''|[[Evil Overlord List|The Evil Overlord List, #9]]}}
{{quote|''I will not include a [[Self-Destruct Mechanism]] unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a [[Big Red Button|large red button]] labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a [[Bullet Hell|spray of bullets]] on anyone [[Too Dumb to Live|stupid enough to disregard it]]. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.''|[[Evil Overlord List|The Evil Overlord List, #9]]}}


{{quote|'''Capt. Amazing:''' Oh looky here, a multi frequency radio detonator. You should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.<br />
{{quote|'''Capt. Amazing:''' Oh looky here, a multi frequency radio detonator. You should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.
'''Casanova Frankenstein:''' Oh, no, no, no this is quite an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.<br />
'''Casanova Frankenstein:''' Oh, no, no, no this is quite an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.
'''Capt. Amazing:''' Yeah? W-What is it?<br />
'''Capt. Amazing:''' Yeah? W-What is it?
''* puff of smoke goes off in Captain Amazing's face* ''<br />
''* puff of smoke goes off in Captain Amazing's face* ''
'''Capt. Amazing:''' ''* sniffs* '' Yuck.<br />
'''Capt. Amazing:''' ''* sniffs* '' Yuck.
'''Casanova Frankenstein:''' It's a cholorform-deploying portable enticement snare.<br />
'''Casanova Frankenstein:''' It's a cholorform-deploying portable enticement snare.
''* Captain Amazing nods in confusion and both foes stare at each other in silence momentarily* ''<br />
''* Captain Amazing nods in confusion and both foes stare at each other in silence momentarily* ''
'''Capt. Amazing:''' ''* sniffs* '' Ah, dang!|''[[Mystery Men]]''}}
'''Capt. Amazing:''' ''* sniffs* '' Ah, dang!
|''[[Mystery Men]]''}}


{{quote|<heros> LOL, dude, I set up this little box on the side of my car<br />
{{quote|<heros> LOL, dude, I set up this little box on the side of my car
<heros> and theres a button on it with a sign, "Do not press"<br />
<heros> and theres a button on it with a sign, "Do not press"
<heros> and when you press it the car alarm goes off<br />
<heros> and when you press it the car alarm goes off
<jeff> lol nice<br />
<jeff> lol nice
<heros> so I'm gonna count how many people do it in a week<br />
<heros> so I'm gonna count how many people do it in a week
<heros> brb<br />
<heros> brb
<jeff> where u going?<br />
<jeff> where u going?
<heros> car alarm went off|qdb.us [http://www.qdb.us/230078 #230078]}}
<heros> car alarm went off
|qdb.us [http://www.qdb.us/230078 #230078]}}


{{quote|Kids! Color this comic and win! Send your completed entry to your local newspaper c/o "This Letter Is Really A Mailbomb" and win! Be sure to include your return address.|[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/comics/14 "Sonichu Is Dead," Chapter 14]}}
{{quote|Kids! Color this comic and win! Send your completed entry to your local newspaper c/o "This Letter Is Really A Mailbomb" and win! Be sure to include your return address.|[http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/comics/14 "Sonichu Is Dead," Chapter 14]}}


{{quote|'''Himeko''': ...but why would Dunbadoru-sensei have brought attention to it if he didn't want us going in?
{{quote|Make the choice, adventurous stranger<br />
'''Hermione''': So that we knew that we weren't to go in it!
Strike the bell, and bide the danger<br />
'''Himeko''': But that just guarantees someone will go in it and find out why it's forbidden the hard way!
Or wonder, till it drives you mad<br />
'''Hermione''': And why do you say that?
What would have followed if you had|''[[The Magicians Nephew|The Magician's Nephew]]'' (book 6 of "[[The Chronicles of Narnia]]"), by C.S Lewis}}
'''Himeko''': My mom's a book writer, and my dad directs movies. I know the... what's that word again, [[Buffy-Speak|the stuff that every writer seems to use]]? Anyway, dad and Aiko'neechan would sit and watch some really bad American horror films and make fun of them at the same time. If you want someone to investigate something, you hide it then call attention to the fact that you're hiding something.

'''Hermione''':This isn't a movie or a book, Himeko.
{{quote|'''Himeko''': ...but why would Dunbadoru-sensei have brought attention to it if he didn't want us going in?<br />
|''[[Ribbon and Stone]]''}}
'''Hermione''': So that we knew that we weren't to go in it!<br />
'''Himeko''': But that just guarantees someone will go in it and find out why it's forbidden the hard way!<br />
'''Hermione''': And why do you say that?<br />
'''Himeko''': My mom's a book writer, and my dad directs movies. I know the... what's that word again, [[Buffy-Speak|the stuff that every writer seems to use]]? Anyway, dad and Aiko'neechan would sit and watch some really bad American horror films and make fun of them at the same time. If you want someone to investigate something, you hide it then call attention to the fact that you're hiding something.<br />
'''Hermione''':This isn't a movie or a book, Himeko.|''[[Ribbon and Stone]]''}}


{{quote|'Do Not Lean Out Of The Window.' Wonder why...|Vivian, ''[[The Young Ones]]''}}
{{quote|'Do Not Lean Out Of The Window.' Wonder why...|Vivian, ''[[The Young Ones]]''}}


{{quote|'''Ren''': See this button? '''''[[Don't Touch It, You Idiot!|DON'T TOUCH IT! IT'S THE HISTORY ERASER BUTTON YOU FOOL!]]'''''<br />
{{quote|'''Ren''': See this button? '''''[[Don't Touch It, You Idiot!|DON'T TOUCH IT! IT'S THE HISTORY ERASER BUTTON YOU FOOL!]]'''''
'''Stimpy''': So, [[Too Dumb to Live|what'll happen?]]<br />
'''Stimpy''': So, [[Too Dumb to Live|what'll happen?]]
'''Ren''': That's just it - ''we don't know!'' [[Tempting Fate|Maybe something good.]] [[The End of the World as We Know It|Maybe something bad.]]|[[Ren and Stimpy]]}}
'''Ren''': That's just it - ''we don't know!'' [[Tempting Fate|Maybe something good.]] [[The End of the World as We Know It|Maybe something bad.]]
|[[Ren and Stimpy]]}}



{{tropesubpagefooter}}
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Schmuck Bait]]
[[Category:Quotes]]

Latest revision as of 00:35, 8 April 2023


Make your choice, adventurous stranger
Strike the bell and bide the danger
Or wonder till it drives you mad
What would have happened if you had

—An inscription on a pedestal with a small bell and hammer on it, from The Magician's Nephew, by C. S. Lewis. You don't want to know what happens if you fall for it.

Budnick: You can trash whatever you want to trash, destroy whatever you want to destroy and nobody will punish you or bother you you'll have complete freedom.
Ellen: Great.
Budnick: The only way you will be punished is if you push that little red button over there but you will only be bringing the punishment on yourself.
Ellen: Oh yeah, what kind of punishment?
Budnick: You'll find out but don't say I didn't warn you.

Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying "End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH", the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.
Thief Of Time, 26th Discworld novel
I will not include a Self-Destruct Mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

Capt. Amazing: Oh looky here, a multi frequency radio detonator. You should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.
Casanova Frankenstein: Oh, no, no, no this is quite an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.
Capt. Amazing: Yeah? W-What is it?
* puff of smoke goes off in Captain Amazing's face*
Capt. Amazing: * sniffs* Yuck.
Casanova Frankenstein: It's a cholorform-deploying portable enticement snare.
* Captain Amazing nods in confusion and both foes stare at each other in silence momentarily*
Capt. Amazing: * sniffs* Ah, dang!

<heros> LOL, dude, I set up this little box on the side of my car
<heros> and theres a button on it with a sign, "Do not press"
<heros> and when you press it the car alarm goes off
<jeff> lol nice
<heros> so I'm gonna count how many people do it in a week
<heros> brb
<jeff> where u going?
<heros> car alarm went off

—qdb.us #230078
Kids! Color this comic and win! Send your completed entry to your local newspaper c/o "This Letter Is Really A Mailbomb" and win! Be sure to include your return address.

Himeko: ...but why would Dunbadoru-sensei have brought attention to it if he didn't want us going in?
Hermione: So that we knew that we weren't to go in it!
Himeko: But that just guarantees someone will go in it and find out why it's forbidden the hard way!
Hermione: And why do you say that?
Himeko: My mom's a book writer, and my dad directs movies. I know the... what's that word again, the stuff that every writer seems to use? Anyway, dad and Aiko'neechan would sit and watch some really bad American horror films and make fun of them at the same time. If you want someone to investigate something, you hide it then call attention to the fact that you're hiding something.
Hermione:This isn't a movie or a book, Himeko.

'Do Not Lean Out Of The Window.' Wonder why...
—Vivian, The Young Ones



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