Promstuck

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Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and your LIFE IS OVER. AGAIN.

"This is a story about love. This is a story about betrayal. A story of heterosexuality, Heee Haw, and growing up. This is a story about prom." —Official Summary

Welcome to Promstuck, a completely ridiculous Homestuck fanadventure created by Shelby “No Cool Nickname”, urbanAnchorite and hilarity option Cephied Variable, illustrated by the former and written by the latter two (with a great deal of content to still be blamed on Shelby). Please be prepared for an adventure full of hilarious japes and gentle frivolity, such as punch-spiking, dance-interrupting, fondly admiring ass-lacks, and the Unbearable Karkat Vantasness of Being. It is important to note that this is based off the Marchingstuck continuity, so if you are baffled as to why this High School AU constantly brings musical instruments into everything, Marchingstuck may be worth a read. Perhaps you are baffled anyway. This is normal.

Promstuck functions like a "classic" fan adventure: many of its commands were submitted by the readers, which the team dutifully followed. This can explain the reasons as to why the characters die, offer everyone they meet bacon and jelly sandwiches and seem to be propelled around by Hearts Boxcars (you wouldn't believe the number of times Hearts Boxcars seems to pop up in the commands box).

This is a labour of love, and also a labour of affectionate, nonsensical parody.

Links of interest:

• Completed Acts of Promstuck are archived at AO3
• Marchingstuck Logs: One, Two, Prom, Final?
• Marchingstuck tumblr: fuckyeahmarchingstuck

CRISIS MODE! PRESS A PRESS A

• Abhorrent Admirer: Karkat (and apparently everyone else) views Eridan as this.
• Adorkable: John
• All There in the Manual: Most of the information about the marchinstuck universe can be found in the form of chat logs posted by the authors.
• And Knowing Is Half the Battle: One update featured John giving a "The More You Know"-style PSA about teen drinking.
• Author Avatar: HELLO, LADIES.
• Breaking the Fourth Wall: Terezi wants her own POV in the adventure and she will break the fourth wall to get it.
• Cannot Spit It Out: Karkat just can't seem to tell John how he feels.
• Characterization Marches On: When Eridan has the chance to be happy together with Karkat, he gives it up because he realizes Karkat will never be truly happy with him.
• Cheshire Cat Grin: Feferi sports a nice one here
• Foe Yay: Snowman/Spades Slick
• Foregone Conclusion: All the readers know that Karkat and John will definately get together at the end. The fun part is finding out how.
• Game Over: Happened three times so far, but luckily the players have the option to start over from the last page.
• Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: John seems to have a strong case of this
• Ho Yay: John and Karkat, obviously, but Karkat and Eridan have a bit as well.
• Idiot Ball: John's failure to realize his feelings for Karkat defies reason and believability. It's one thing to be a in denial of your homosexuality, and another thing to be in denial of your homosexuality when you are constantly kissing and groping a member of the same sex.
  • Somewhat averted with the latest reveal that John knew exactly what he was doing, but was suffering from severe Gayngst.
• Impossibly Tacky Clothes: Terezi's entire wardrobe apparently.
• Intermission: Vriska's Sexy Sex Tips for Having Sexy Sex
• Kissing Under the Influence: John and Karkat do so on the Disney Trip
• Kiss of Life: John practiced giving CPR to Karkat in Gym class.
• Lady Drunk: Karkat describes Ms. Lalonde as "a woman as curvaceous and cunning as she is DRUNK."
• Les Yay: Rose and Kanaya.
  • Jade and Nepeta have brief, interrupted sloppy makeouts once the punch is spiked.
• Moment Killer: BUTT TOUCH
• Oblivious to Love: John.
• One True Threesome: In the finale, Nepeta/Jade/Equius and Aradia/Vriska/Tavros.
• Organ Theft: Subverted. It appears that Snowman has done this to Jack, except that he's a carapace and doesn't have kidneys anyway.
• Not a Date: John and Karkat went to prom together as Just Friends. Really.
• Parody Sue: Shelby's fantroll, Duchess Saucereyes.
• Platonic Life Partners: John and Vriska; Karkat and Kanaya
• Prom Is for Straight Kids: Averted.
• She's All Grown Up: Hello John.
• Shipper on Deck: Several.
• Ship Tease: Several, especially after the punch gets spiked. Highlights include Gamzee/Tavros and Nepeta/Jade sloppy makeouts.
  • Possibly Mom/Dad/Bro here
  • Also, this
• Shotgun Wedding: One of the Bad Ends involves Equius threatening Karkat into marrying Nepeta because he accidentally brushed against her butt.
• Shout-Out: To Cities in Dust here
  • And then John got drunk and became Tamaki
  • A reference is made to the Twilight series here, when Karkat and Kanaya become moirails.
  • And here's where Nepeta morphed into Sephiroth.
  • And to Sailor Moon here
  • Goblet of Sick Fires is referenced here, with art courtesy of the author himself!
  • And The Sims, of all things, here.
• Transparent Closet: It seems like the entire school is aware of John's attraction to Karkat. I guess there's only so much ass-grabbing you can do before people start to talk.
• Unexplained Recovery: Kanaya was killed by Eridan in a color guard practice accident. The she became a rainbow drinker.
• Unresolved Sexual Tension / Will They or Won't They?: John and Karkat
• Victoria's Secret Compartment: Kanaya kept her money in there, and Terezi hid the booze she used to spike the punch there too

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==>YOU HAVE DIED: ABORT/RESTART/RETRY?