The Fan Fiction Critic

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I'm the FanFiction Critic, and this is what you do with a B.A. in English!

"In the future, if I happen to review your fanfiction, I'm not doing it to insult you, I'm making fun of your poor writing skills." —Episode 1 "Disney Seven"

The Fan Fiction Critic was a reviewer on YouTube, who had over 1,000 subscribers at one point. Her forte was Exactly What It Says on the Tin, bad fanfics. But not just any fanfics, oh no. She reviewed some of the dumbest, worst written, most perverted, and just plain oddest fanfics out there, armed only with her snark and her never-ending fountain of Shout-Outs to things much, much better than the things she's reviewing. Wish her luck, everyone, she's gonna need it.

She had channels at both YouTube and Blip.tv, but they have been shut down for years. However, a fan of her videos has uploaded at least some of them to his own YouTube channel.

Not to be confused with The Fanfic Critic, although the two are reportedly friends.

The Fan Fiction Critic provides examples of the following tropes:

• Author Catchphrase: Several reviewed fanfics have these to the point where she makes fun of it, especially "ne'er-do-wells" and "furry friends" in The Disney Seven.

Fanfiction Critic: Stop saying "furry friends"! Because every time you do, I picture THIS! (Shows picture from Anthrocon)

• Berserk Button:
  • Homophobia, see the review of Face the Strange.
  • Most Mary Sue tropes.
• Big No: More of a big "Why?" during her review of Face the Strange when Jack Skellington makes an appearance.
• Captain Obvious Aesop: The sheer depravity, stupidity, and Values Dissonance of the writers she reviews occasionally forces her dispense one of these. Paraphrased.

Okay. Let's just be clear. Sweetie, if your uncle is molesting you, it doesn't count as cheating on your boyfriend.

• Catch Phrase: The page quote.
  • "Oh NO!"
  • I'd like to thank _____ for sending me this fanfiction. I'd also like to kick them in the shin, but we can't always get what we want!
  • [Musical artist], play me out!
  • SHOW! Don't TELL!
  • Precision F-Strike *Clunk*
• Deadpan Snarker: In all of her reviews. She seems to have trouble leaving sarcasm mode.
  • Diane, the text reader, acts like this in the review of several of her reviews.
• Dull Surprise: When faced with a really obvious plot twist.
• Early Installment Weirdness: She was going to review good or bad fanfiction. Rule of Funny nixed that.
• Heroic BSOD: Several:
  • After reviewing her own fan fic.
  • The beginning of "Back to the Frollo," where she's plastered.
  • The beginning of the second review for Human Centipede fanfiction.
• I Need a Freaking Drink: During her review of "Legolas By Laura".
  • Reappears in several subsequent reviews, usually of particularly heinous fanfic.
• Old Shame: The Fanfiction Critc Reads Her Own Fanfiction. This Fic in Question.
• One of Us: She has used the names of tropes several times, and in a commentary admitted to being familiar with TV Tropes.
• Out, Damned Spot!: A rare humorous version. She feels dirtied by quoting a racist fanfic, and begins scrubbing her mouth with a toothbrush. Overlaps with Shower of Angst below.
• Reason You Suck Speech: Done on multiple occasions, most notably with "Face the Strange" and "Back to the Frollo," where she calls the writers out on their homophobia and misogyny (respectively). Paraphrased:

"Author, you are a bad person. I do not say this lightly, nor do I say it in jest, simply put, you are a bad person."

• Running Gag: The Cube of Profanity becomes this in some reviews.
  • In Episode 18, referring to the illustrations of girl!Harry, girl!Ron, etc. "You can never un-see that. Ever."
  • Every time the stuffed wolf toy appears, it has a different name (examples include Smoopykins, Mister Snickerdoodle, Fluffykins, and Grumpytumpkins).
• Sanity Slippage: During the worst of her reviews, she edges into this. In her (paraphrased) words:

"You think this can drive me mad? Well, the joke is on you, because I went mad a long time ago! HAHAHA . . .

• Sitcom Arch Nemesis: Detroit, who reviews bad movies, is basically this.
• Shout-Out - All of her reviews include several.
• Shower of Angst: Fanfiction Critic had to keep on taking showers because she was reading a fic involving Bella Swan getting raped by Edward Cullen and Bella was okay with it. Later parodied, as she leaps up for showers repeatedly over the course of a single review. Eventually, she has a toothbrush of angst after quoting a racist fanfiction and claiming it made her mouth "feel dirty."
• Snarky Non-Human Sidekick: Diane the text reader in the review of "Seven Years Later"
• Special Effects Failure: Her alter ego the "Fanfiction Devil's" horns. Lampshaded the hell out of it.

Critic: They look like Steampunk goggles painted red. Devil: They're just filed down, like in Hellboy! Critic: Oh, the costume store was out of horns?

• The Swear Jar: She uses the Cube of Profanity.
• To the Pain: Her descriptions of what she'd like to do with the author of Back to the Frollo get . . . vivid, especially when she dresses up as "The Fanfiction Devil" and begins describing the center of Fanfiction Hell. This is a running trend during the worst of her reviews.