Cut Lex Luthor a Check/Quotes

• Main
• Haiku
• Laconic
• Playing With
• Quotes
• All Subpages
• Create New

Do you remember what the villains from Captain Planet and the Planeteers were like, how they'd steal an oil tanker and deliberately run it smack into a beach to teach all the sea lions a lesson in complacency? Do you remember wondering why they didn't just sell the oil at huge profits and not have to get beaten up by a big blue man in little red pants? —Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw

Luthor: I could have saved the world if it weren't for you! Superman: (punching him out) You could have saved the world years ago if it mattered to you, Luthor. —All-Star Superman

"I'm sure your next question is: 'Lex, fine. What are you gonna do with a hundred billion dollars?' Well, it's simple. I'm going to use it... to kill Superman. I mean, c'mon, right? I'm Lex Luthor. It's what I do." —Lex Luthor, asking for a government bailout

This is a pretty sensible plan. It's far less extreme than say, patenting the device, and getting a business loan, and selling the thing legitimately. And it's far easier than just shooting Batman, and then taking off his mask. —The Agony Booth, on Batman Forever

"What? A single world's fair refuses to put on an exhibition of my scientific discoveries? How dare they! I'm going to ransom them for a billion dollars and kill them all if they refuse as opposed to simply patenting my wonderful technologies and making billions!" Yeah, I think this is a prime example of why the writers decided making Luthor an evil business genius made more sense than keeping him as a mad scientist. Quite frankly, being a supervillain with this much intelligence and ability is just...dumb. —Linkara, mocking Lex Luthor in the crossover between Superman, Wonder Woman and the TRS-80 Whiz Kids

"I don't get it. Little bit of fine tuning, you could have made a good paycheck, selling that to China, Iran... or go black market. You look like you've got friends in low places. Why throw it away on me?" —Tony Stark (discussing his concept with Ivan Vanko), Iron Man 2

"It's not about making money, it's about taking money." —Dr. Horrible, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

"We evil magicians have to make a living too." —Professor Hinkle, Frosty the Snowman

"I can rekindle the life in a corpse... I can raise the dead, but I can't make a buck!" —Vincent, 13th baron von Frankenstein, Sweet Chastity

"All you care about is money. This town deserves a better class of criminal, and I'm going to give it to them. [...] It's not about money... it's about sending a message. Everything burns!" —The Joker, The Dark Knight

Then let's go with your scenario. You win. What do you get? A huge portion of the Virginia shoreline slides into the ocean. An act of terrorism-for-profit that'll put every human and metahuman agent and agency on your trail for the rest of your natural life. And pray mercy on your afterlife if you happen to kill anyone near and dear to Fate, Zatanna, or... so you see my point. How about hearing my counter-proposal? I can put you in contact with a major U.S. corporation that will co-patent this device with you. They're Gotham-based, so the post-No Man's Land investor incentives mean a healthy tax bonus. Your device is used in perpetuity for beach reclamation and you cash a fat check for waking up every morning. Yes, much better than another Flash-bash. Which... yes, Wizard, I'm sure you would win this time... Fine. Your Gotham City contact will email you tomorrow. —Batman to the Weather Wizard, JLA: Welcome to the Working Week

"I once heard somebody - I think it was Batman - say that criminals are a cowardly, superstitious lot. Let me just add that costumed ones are not all that bright either. Take Dr. Alchemy. If you had a so-called Philosopher's Stone that transmuted anything you wanted into anything else, would you put on a costume, steal something and then defy the cops to take you in? Granted, the stuff changes back if you put the stone down but, still - is there anyone here who can't think of about a dozen ways to make a million with such a stone?" —Mark Shaw, Manhunter #7

"Seriously, imagine if you took all this cool stuff you do and applied it to something that wasn't stupid." —Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man

Farnsworth: This is my latest invention; a device that lets anyone sound exactly like me! [...] Dwight: What's this device's marketability? Who's the target consumer? Farnsworth: There is no target consumer! Only targets. Targets that will tremble in fear as their new master hands down edicts in my glorious, booming voice! —Futurama

Dr. Insano: So help me understand this: This guy has somehow designed an artificial sentient that can perfectly interpret visual data, troubleshoot computer faults by sight, wirelessly hack traffic signals, and steal money from ATMs on command, but he still works as a lowly I.T. Tech. I mean, hello! Patent it! Sell it! Make zillions of dollars! We just established that he has no money to buy groceries, but with his computer, he could practically print the stuff! —The Spoony Experiment review on The Dungeonmaster

"But... instead of robbing banks, why didn't he just market and sell his incredibly sophisticated robot?" —Brenda, Blue Beetle

"If only you'd put your mind to something useful. You're like Lex Luthor!" —Jerry Seinfeld, to Kramer

"Oh, I'm real. Real enough to defeat you! And I did it without your precious gifts, your oh-so-special powers. I'll give them heroics. I'll give them the most spectacular heroics the world has ever seen! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that *everyone* can have powers. Everyone can be super! And when everyone's super.. chuckles evilly - no one will be. —The (somewhat) Genre Savvy Syndrome in The Incredibles.

Look, I'm just sayin', if you've invented the anti-gravity machine, why blackmail France for 100 mil to keep the Eiffel Tower from flying into orbit? That's chicken feed compared to what you could make selling the best damned bra even invented! —Minions At Work #317.