Mystery Science Theater 3000/Quotes

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  • Recap
    • S01
      • E01 The Crawling Eye
      • E04 Women of the Prehistoric Planet
      • E06 The Crawling Hand
      • E07 Robot Monster
      • E10 Robot Holocaust
      • E11 Moon Zero Two
      • E13 The Black Scorpion
    • S02
      • E01 Rocketship XM
        • YMMV
      • E02 The Sidehackers
      • E03 Jungle Goddess
      • E04 Catalina Caper
        • YMMV
      • E05 Rocket Attack USA
      • E06 Ring of Terror
      • E07 Wild Rebels
      • E08 Lost Continent
        • YMMV
      • E10 King Dinosaur
      • E11 First Spaceship on Venus
      • E12 Godzilla vs. Megalon
        • YMMV
      • E13 Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
    • S03
      • E01 Cave Dwellers
        • YMMV
      • E02 Gamera
      • E03 Pod People
        • YMMV
      • E04 Gamera vs. Barugon
      • E05 Stranded in Space
      • E06 Time of the Apes
        • YMMV
      • E07 Daddy-O
      • E08 Gamera vs. Gaos
      • E09 The Amazing Colossal Man
      • E10 Fugitive Alien
        • YMMV
      • E11 It Conquered the World
        • YMMV
      • E12 Gamera vs. Guiron
      • E13 Earth vs. the Spider
        • YMMV
      • E14 Mighty Jack
      • E15 Teenage Caveman
      • E16 Gamera vs. Zigra
      • E17 Viking Women and the Sea Serpent
      • E18 Star Force Fugitive Alien II
      • E19 War of the Colossal Beast
        • YMMV
      • E20 The Unearthly
      • E21 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
        • YMMV
      • E22 Master Ninja
        • YMMV
      • E23 The Castle of Fu Manchu
      • E24 Master Ninja II
    • S04
      • E02 The Giant Gila Monster
      • E03 City Limits
      • E04 Teenagers From Outer Space
        • YMMV
      • E05 Being From Another Planet
      • E07 The Killer Shrews
      • E08 Hercules Unchained
      • E09 The Indestructible Man
      • E10 Hercules Against the Moon Men
      • E11 The Magic Sword
      • E12 Hercules and the Captive Women
      • E14 Tormented
      • E15 The Beatniks
        • YMMV
      • E16 Fire Maidens From Outer Space
        • YMMV
      • E18 Attack of the Eye Creatures
        • YMMV
      • E19 The Rebel Set
      • E20 The Human Duplicators
      • E21 Monster-A-Go-Go
        • YMMV
      • E22 The Day the Earth Froze
        • YMMV
      • E23 Bride of the Monster
      • E24 Manos: The Hands of Fate
        • YMMV
    • S05
      • E01 Warrior of the Lost World
        • YMMV
      • E02 Hercules
        • YMMV
      • E03 Swamp Diamonds
        • YMMV
      • E04 Secret Agent Super Dragon
        • YMMV
      • E05 The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
      • E06 Eegah
        • YMMV
      • E07 I Accuse My Parents
        • YMMV
      • E08 Operation Double 007
      • E09 The Girl in Lovers Lane
        • YMMV
      • E10 The Painted Hills
        • YMMV
      • E11 The Gunslinger
      • E12 Mitchell
      • E13 The Brain That Wouldn't Die
        • YMMV
      • E14 Teen Age Strangler
      • E15 Wild World of Batwoman
      • E16 Alien From L.A.
        • YMMV
      • E17 Beginning of the End
        • YMMV
      • E19 Outlaw
        • YMMV
      • E20 Radar Secret Service
        • YMMV
      • E21 Santa Claus
        • YMMV
      • E22 Teenage Crime Wave
        • YMMV
      • E23 Village of the Giants
      • E24 12 to the Moon
    • S06
      • E01 Girls Town
        • YMMV
      • E02 Invasion USA
        • YMMV
      • E03 The Dead Talk Back
        • YMMV
      • E04 Zombie Nightmare
      • E05 Colossus and the Headhunters
      • E06 The Creeping Terror
      • E07 Bloodlust
      • E08 Code Name Diamond Head
      • E09 The Skydivers
        • YMMV
      • E10 The Violent Years
        • YMMV
      • E11 Last of the Wild Horses
      • E12 The Starfighters
        • YMMV
      • E13 The Sinister Urge
        • YMMV
      • E14 San Francisco International
        • YMMV
      • E15 Kitten With a Whip
      • E16 Racket Girls
      • E17 The Sword and the Dragon
      • E18 High School Big Shot
      • E19 Red Zone Cuba
      • E20 Danger Death Ray
      • E21 The Beast of Yucca Flats
      • E22 Angels Revenge
        • YMMV
      • E23 The Amazing Transparent Man
        • YMMV
      • E24 Samson vs. the Vampire Women
    • S07
      • E01 Night of the Blood Beast
        • YMMV
      • E02 The Brute Man
      • E03 Deathstalker and the Warriors
      • E04 The Incredible Melting Man
      • E05 Escape 2000
      • E06 Laserblast
    • S08
      • E01 Revenge of the Creature
      • E02 The Leech Woman
      • E03 The Mole People
      • E04 The Deadly Mantis
        • YMMV
      • E05 The Thing That Couldn't Die
        • YMMV
      • E06 The Undead
        • YMMV
      • E07 Terror From the Year 5000
        • YMMV
      • E08 The She Creature
        • YMMV
      • E09 I Was a Teenage Werewolf
      • E10 The Giant Spider Invasion
        • YMMV
      • E11 Parts the Clonus Horror
        • YMMV
      • E12 The Incredibly Strange Creatures
        • YMMV
      • E13 Jack Frost
        • YMMV
      • E14 Riding With Death
        • YMMV
      • E15 Agent for HARM
        • YMMV
      • E16 Prince of Space
        • YMMV
      • E17 The Horror of Party Beach
        • YMMV
      • E18 Devil Doll
        • YMMV
      • E19 Invasion of the Neptune Men
      • E20 Space Mutiny
      • E21 Time Chasers
        • YMMV
      • E22 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
        • YMMV
    • S09
      • E01 The Projected Man
      • E02 The Phantom Planet
      • E03 Puma Man
      • E04 Werewolf
      • E05 The Deadly Bees
      • E06 The Space Children
      • E07 Hobgoblins
        • YMMV
      • E08 Touch of Satan
      • E09 Gorgo
      • E10 The Final Sacrifice
      • E11 Devil Fish
      • E12 The Screaming Skull
      • E13 Quest of the Delta Knights
    • S10
      • E01 Soultaker
      • E02 The Girl in Gold Boots
      • E03 Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
      • E04 Future War
      • E05 The Blood Waters of Dr. Z
        • YMMV
      • E06 Boggy Creek 2: The Legend Continues
        • YMMV
      • E07 Track of the Moon Beast
        • YMMV
      • E08 Final Justice
      • E10 It Lives By Night
      • E11 Horrors of Spider Island
        • YMMV
      • E12 Squirm
      • E13 Diabolik
    • The Movie
      • YMMV
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Add Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes here.

In the not-too-distant future Next Sunday A.D. There was a guy named Joel Not too different from you or me He worked on a satellite loading bay Just polishing switches to pay his way He did his job with a cheerful face But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space We'll send him cheesy movies The worst ever made Joel says when you got lemons You make lemonade Now keep in mind he can't control When those movies begin or end Because he used those extra parts to build his robot friends Robot roll-call Cambot Gypsy Tom Servo Crow! If you're wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts Just repeat to yourself "It's just a show, I should really just relax" For Mystery Science Theater 3000 —-Mystery Science Theater 3000 theme song

#319 - War of the Colossal Beast

Mr. B Natural

Servo: See, Buzz, it's really fun to be psychotic.

Joel: I think Oscar Wilde only wished he was this gay. You know? Servo: Ladies and gentlemen, please accept our sincere apology for all of this. Please.