Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

"DO YOU ALL HATE ME OR SOMETHING!"

—Legolas; chapter thirteen

Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around, written by crazyroninchic, is a parody of Mary Sues that frequently come up in The Lord of the Rings Fan Fics. It begins when several of the characters (which includes Legolas, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, and Gimli) discover an unusual book and begin to read. They soon realize, to their horror, that the book is a Mary Sue Fanfic titled "Tales of a Dream Come True." During the forty-five chapters of the fic, minds are scarred, sanity is lost, and more characters join in on the fun. And it is hilariously awesome.

Two sequels were written by crazyroninchic, Starr Struck and I TOLD You to Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around. The former is a sequel to "Tales of a Dream Come True," in which one of Starr's daughters makes it her mission to turn Middle-earth back to normal. The latter is more of a midquel, with Arwen having a flashback to a previous incident with Sue fics.

Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around can be read here; the sequels can be read here and here.

Tropes used in Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around include:
  • Berserk Button: Pippin really doesn't like it when Starr steals his song in chapter ten.
  • Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Arwen imagines herself disemboweling Celeste with a dull spoon.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: "Legolas was at the archery practice field, practicing his archery."
  • Derailing Love Interests: This is what happens to both Arwen and Eowyn in order to make Starr and Celeste look better.
  • Doomy Dooms of Doom: "Sam gulped and took his place in the Chair of Doom, picked up the Book of Doom, flipped one of many Pages of Doom, and began to read the word of The Spawn of Morgoth…and Doom."
  • Embarrassing First Name: The Suethor's real name is revealed to be Murtle.
  • Hypocrite: In chapter thirty-four, Celeste calls Arwen a hussy...and this is after Celeste has cheated on Aragorn with both Pippin and Faramir!
  • Loads and Loads of Characters: The initial group of readers consist of Elrohir, Elladan, Faramir, Legolas, Arwen, Gimli, Merry, Aragorn, Eowyn, and Pippin. Glorfindel, Eomer, Sam, Haldir, and Thranduil eventually become readers.
  • Rule of Funny: This fic lives off it.
  • Sickeningly Sweethearts: Starr and Suefic!Legolas. Also Celeste and Suefic!Aragorn, to a certain extent.
  • Three-Way Sex: Happens multiple times in the Sueverse and sometimes with more then three. Most notably between Legolas, Thranduil, and Starr. Much to the disgust of the former two.
  • Too Dumb to Live: In the final chapter, Starr and Celeste finally die; one of the two possible reasons that are given for this is that "their miniscule brains were no longer smart enough to remember to breathe."
  • Trauma Conga Line: The entire Sueverse fiction is made of this for everyone involved.
  • Troubled Fetal Position: Seen from multiple characters, but Legolas most of all.
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