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Captain Obvious quotes

Many of his complaints stem from common "problems" found in many games (granted, some of these are slightly better in context).

"Reminds me of this rooftop bullshit, jump from the wrong place and you go falling to the ground."

—Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"This would be a hell of a lot easier if these enemies weren't trying to kill me!"

—Predator

"When the blocks start getting close to the top, the music starts speeding up. Now this causes me to get nervous and could mess me up."

—Tetris

And then there's his really obvious statements:

"If you manage to get past level one, you'll end up on level two."

—Mission: Impossible

"In this game, you play as the main character..."

—Brutal Legend

"You play as different characters, watch cutscenes, and perform new tasks.

—Lego Harry Potter review

"The first thing you see is the Back to the Future logo."

—Back to The Future

"In this game you play as Indiana Jones."

—Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

"This is the long-awaited third installment in the Marvel vs. Capcom franchise."

—Marvel vs. Capcom 3

"Now let me preface by saying this game is not intended for kids."

—God of War 3

"If you're a fan of [insert franchise here] then chances are you'll like this new installment.

Memetic Mutations

"Uh, yeah, YA THINK?!"
"GET THE FUCK OFF MAH PROPERTY!"
The Irate Gamer getting visitors during his Monster Party review (both used for "Bores n Doors" videos)
"WHAT THE FUCK IS A MUSCLE?" (MUSCLE)
"These games are fustrating as hell!"
"After doing some research..."
The Genie: "What?"
Cousin Joey: "Hey Chris, what are you playing?" [footage of violence/someone insulting Bores]
- Original footage from Monster Party Review.
"Actually, the winner was Joseph...ooh-ee-do, I think that's how you say his name." (DealDash winner video)
"Let's face it. Breakfast is ruined."

Department of Redundancy Department Quotes

"Super Mario Bros. 2 is only a one-player game. It's totally different from the original in which you can play two players."

"Now it's time to pop this video game in and play the game."

—Back to The Future

"Tonight, the Haunted Investigators will investigate the haunted attraction known as... the haunted hydro."

"So, joining us live to the Irate Gamer Show, connected by via satellite..."

—Zombies Ate My Neighbors

"Then you get to play two back-to-back Van Halen songs played by Van Halen.

—Guitar Hero Van Halen

"Another annoying thing are these annoying eyeball platforms."

—Ghosts N Goblins

"I'm going to hit up three games [...] so onto the first. First up, Brutal Legend."

"When somebody asks you for five of the most difficult games on the NES, I guarantee Ghosts 'n Goblins is probably on your Top Five list.^[1]

—From the Irate Gamer DVD

"I was actually waiting to play the whole entire time."

"One person even stated they heard two female women talking to each other..."

—Haunted Investigators The Ritz Theater

"This fresh installment brings back everything you loved about the past installments..."

—Donkey Kong Country Returns

"In this review, we're reviewing Kirbys Epic Yarn."

"[Fans] who not only wanted me to review this game, but explain my stance on it."

"Kratos is back in the third God of War game to round out this trilogy."

"With three fighters fighting on each side, it makes this unique brawler very unique and very enjoyable to play."

—Marvel vs. Capcom 3

"This is an opened ended series which will span many episodes."

—From the description of "The History Of Video Games".

Director: Can you please just read the line please?

—Aflac Auditions Sketch

"There's a good one. I think we found one, RoboCop. That's a good one."

"Let's head inside because that's where everyone's headed."

—E3 2011: Spider-Man Edge of Time

"Monster Party is a game that's considered a cult classic by some, and a bad game by others."

Other

"Super Mario Bros. 2 is the perfect predecessor to the first Super Mario Bros."

"To tell you the truth, this game is the most boring, stupidest, dumbest, vile, repulsive, anal-raping, fecal-flinging, ass-ramming, toe-jerking, vomit-inducing piece of shit I’ve ever played in my life!"

—MUSCLE

↑ (And this isn't even getting into the contradiction of "guarantee" vs. "probably".)

[1] (And this isn't even getting into the contradiction of "guarantee" vs. "probably".)

[1]

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{work}}
+{{creator}}
 === [[Captain Obvious]] quotes ===
 Many of his complaints stem from common [[Informed Flaw|"problems"]] found in many games (granted, some of these are ''slightly'' better in context).
-{{quote|"Reminds me of this rooftop bullshit, jump from the wrong place and you go falling to the ground."|''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Video Game)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' }}
+{{quote|"Reminds me of this rooftop bullshit, jump from the wrong place and you go falling to the ground."|''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (video game)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' }}
 {{quote|"This would be a hell of a lot easier if these enemies weren't trying to kill me!"|''[[Predator]]''}}
-{{quote|"When the blocks start getting close to the top, [[Songs in The Key of Panic|the music starts speeding up]]. Now this causes me to get nervous and could mess me up." |''[[Tetris (Video Game)|Tetris]]'' }}
+{{quote|"When the blocks start getting close to the top, [[Songs in the Key of Panic|the music starts speeding up]]. Now this causes me to get nervous and could mess me up." |''[[Tetris]]'' }}
 And then there's his ''really'' obvious statements:
-{{quote|"If you manage to get past level one, you'll end up on level two."|''[[Mission Impossible]]''}}
+{{quote|"If you manage to get past level one, you'll end up on level two."|''[[Mission: Impossible]]''}}
 {{quote|"In this game, you play as the main character..."|''[[Brutal Legend]]'' }}
-{{quote|"You play as different characters, watch cutscenes, and perform new tasks.|''[[Lego Adaptation Game (Video Game)|Lego Harry Potter]]'' review}}
+{{quote|"You play as different characters, watch cutscenes, and perform new tasks.|''[[Lego Adaptation Game|Lego Harry Potter]]'' review}}
 {{quote|"The first thing you see is the ''Back to the Future'' logo."|''[[Back to The Future]]''}}
-{{quote|"In this game you play as Indiana Jones."|''[[Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom]]''}}
+{{quote|"In this game you play as Indiana Jones."|''[[Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom]]''}}
 {{quote|"This is the long-awaited third installment in the ''Marvel vs. Capcom'' franchise."|''[[Marvel vs. Capcom 3]]''}}
-{{quote|"Now let me preface by saying this game is not intended for kids."|''[[God of War (Video Game)|God of War]] 3''}}
+{{quote|"Now let me preface by saying this game is not intended for kids."|''[[God of War (series)|God of War]] 3''}}
-{{quote| "If you're a fan of [insert franchise here] then chances are you'll like this new installment.}}
+{{quote|"If you're a fan of [insert franchise here] then chances are you'll like this new installment.}}
 ----
@@ Line 35: / Line 35: @@
 * "These games are '''fustrating''' as hell!"
 * "After [[Critical Research Failure|doing some research...]]"
-* [[Aladdin (Disney)|The Genie]]: "What?"
+* [[Aladdin (Disney film)|The Genie]]: "What?"
 * Cousin Joey: "Hey Chris, what are you playing?" [footage of violence/someone insulting Bores]
 ** Original footage from ''[[Monster Party]]'' Review.
@@ Line 43: / Line 43: @@
 === [[Department of Redundancy Department]] Quotes ===
-{{quote| "''[[Super Mario Bros 2 (Video Game)|Super Mario Bros 2]]'' is only a one-player game. It's totally different from the original in which you can play two players."}}
+{{quote|"''[[Super Mario Bros. 2]]'' is only a one-player game. It's totally different from the original in which you can play two players."}}
 {{quote|"Now it's time to pop this video game in and play the game."|''[[Back to The Future]]''}}
-{{quote| "Tonight, the Haunted Investigators will investigate the haunted attraction known as... the haunted hydro."}}
+{{quote|"Tonight, the Haunted Investigators will investigate the haunted attraction known as... the haunted hydro."}}
 {{quote|"So, joining us live to the ''Irate Gamer Show'', connected by via satellite..."|''[[Zombies Ate My Neighbors]]'' }}
@@ Line 53: / Line 53: @@
 {{quote|"Then you get to play two back-to-back [[Van Halen]] songs played by Van Halen.|''[[Guitar Hero]] Van Halen''}}
-{{quote|"Another annoying thing are these annoying eyeball platforms."|''[[Ghosts N Goblins (Video Game)|Ghosts N Goblins]]''}}
+{{quote|"Another annoying thing are these annoying eyeball platforms."|''[[Ghosts 'n Goblins|Ghosts N Goblins]]''}}
-{{quote| "I'm going to hit up three games [...] so onto the first. First up, ''Brutal Legend''."}}
+{{quote|"I'm going to hit up three games [...] so onto the first. First up, ''Brutal Legend''."}}
 {{quote|"When somebody asks you for five of the most difficult games on the NES, I guarantee ''Ghosts 'n Goblins'' is probably on your Top Five list.<ref>(And this isn't even getting into the contradiction of "guarantee" vs. "probably".)</ref>|''From the Irate Gamer DVD''}}
-{{quote| "I was actually waiting to play the whole entire time."}}
+{{quote|"I was actually waiting to play the whole entire time."}}
 {{quote|"One person even stated they heard two female women talking to each other..."|''Haunted Investigators'' The Ritz Theater}}
@@ Line 65: / Line 65: @@
 {{quote|"This fresh installment brings back everything you loved about the past installments..."|''[[Donkey Kong Country Returns]]'' }}
-{{quote| "In this review, we're reviewing ''[[Kirbys Epic Yarn (Video Game)|Kirbys Epic Yarn]]''."}}
+{{quote|"In this review, we're reviewing ''[[Kirby's Epic Yarn|Kirbys Epic Yarn]]''."}}
-{{quote| "[Fans] who not only wanted me to review this game, but explain my stance on it."}}
+{{quote|"[Fans] who not only wanted me to review this game, but explain my stance on it."}}
-{{quote| "Kratos is back in the third ''God of War'' game to round out this trilogy."}}
+{{quote|"Kratos is back in the third ''God of War'' game to round out this trilogy."}}
 {{quote|"With three fighters fighting on each side, it makes this unique brawler very unique and very enjoyable to play."|''Marvel vs. Capcom 3''}}
@@ Line 77: / Line 77: @@
 {{quote|'''Director''': Can you please just read the line please?|''Aflac Auditions Sketch''}}
-{{quote| "There's a good one. I think we found one, [[Robo Cop]]. That's a good one."}}
+{{quote|"There's a good one. I think we found one, [[RoboCop]]. That's a good one."}}
-{{quote|"Let's head inside because that's where everyone's headed."|[[E 3]] 2011: ''[[Spider Man Edge of Time]]''}}
+{{quote|"Let's head inside because that's where everyone's headed."|[[E3]] 2011: ''[[Spider-Man Edge of Time]]''}}
-{{quote| "''[[Monster Party]]'' is a game that's considered a cult classic by some, and a bad game by others."}}
+{{quote|"''[[Monster Party]]'' is a game that's considered a cult classic by some, and a bad game by others."}}
 ----
 === Other ===
-{{quote| "Super Mario Bros. 2 is the perfect '''predecessor''' to the first Super Mario Bros."}}
+{{quote|"Super Mario Bros. 2 is the perfect '''predecessor''' to the first Super Mario Bros."}}
-{{quote|"To tell you the truth, this game is the most boring, stupidest, dumbest, vile, repulsive, anal-raping, fecal-flinging, ass-ramming, [[Arson Murder and Jaywalking|toe-jerking]], vomit-inducing piece of shit I’ve ever played in my life!"|''[[Kinnikuman (Manga)|MUSCLE]]''
+{{quote|"To tell you the truth, this game is the most boring, stupidest, dumbest, vile, repulsive, anal-raping, fecal-flinging, ass-ramming, [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|toe-jerking]], vomit-inducing piece of shit I’ve ever played in my life!"|''[[Kinnikuman|MUSCLE]]''
 }}
 {{reflist}}
-[[Category:The Irate Gamer]]
 [[Category:Quotes]]
+{{DEFAULTSORT:Irate Gamer, The/Quotes}}
+[[Category:{{TOPLEVELPAGE}}]]