Written by the Winners/Quotes

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"Of course history will be kind to me, for I intend to write it." —Winston Churchill (Newsflash: he did. Literally.)

"The victor will never be asked if he told the truth." —Adolf Hitler

"He who controls the past, controls the future; he who controls the present, controls the past." —1984

"This is for the record: History is written by the victor. History is filled with liars. If he lives, and we die, his truth becomes written -- and ours is lost. Shepherd will be a hero. Because all you need to change the world is one good lie and a river of blood. He's about to complete the greatest trick a liar ever played on history. His truth will be the truth. But only if he lives, and we die." —Captain Price, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

"Half of history is hiding the truth." —Malcolm Reynolds, Serenity

Elphaba, where I'm from, we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. We call it "history." A man's called a traitor - or liberator A rich man's a thief - or philanthropist Is one a crusader - or ruthless invader? It's all in which label Is able to persist —The Wizard of Oz, Wicked

There's an ancient Indian saying that something lives only as long as the last person who remembers it. My people have come to trust memory over history. Memory, like fire, is radiant and immutable while history only serves those who seek to control it. Those who would douse the flame of memory in order to put out the dangerous fire of truth. Beware these men, for they are dangerous themselves ... and unwise. Their false history is written in the blood of those who might remember it and of those who seek the truth. —Albert Hosteen, The X-Files episode "The Blessing Way"

"Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason? Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason." —Sir John Harrington

"Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right! This very place is neutral ground! Justice Will Prevail, you say?! But of course it will!! Whoever wins this war becomes justice!!!" —Donquixote Doflamingo, One Piece

"Historians in England will say I am a liar, but history is written by those who have hanged heroes." —Robert the Bruce, Braveheart

"Our history is nothing more than what the losers settle for!" —The Death Eaters in A Very Potter Sequel

"It is easy to rewrite history when the few who know the truth are unable to make themselves heard." —Phantom, Last Scenario

There are no self-proclaimed villains, only regiments of self-proclaimed saints. Victorious historians rule where good or evil lies. We abjure labels. We fight for money and an indefinable pride. The politics, the ethics, the moralities, are irrelevant. —Black Company

What (if we are to believe Mr. Fisher) did the historians omit? Let’s resort again to the method of mysteries. Here are some questions about the American Revolution for which you may find you have no good answer: One: why do the American loyalists share a nickname with a British political party? Is this just a coincidence, or does it imply some kind of weird alliance? And what is on the other side of said alliance? If the loyalists are called Tories, why does no one call the Patriots Whigs? Two: what on earth is the British strategy? Why do the redcoats seem to be spending so much time just hanging around in New York or Philadelphia? Valley Forge is literally twenty miles from Philly. Okay, I realize, it’s winter. But come on, it’s twenty miles. General Washington is starving in the snow out there. His troops are deserting by the score. And Lord Howe can’t send a couple of guys with muskets to go bring him in? Heck, it sounds like a well-phrased dinner invitation would probably have done the trick. Three: if the Stamp Act was such an intolerable abuse, how did the British Empire have all these other colonies — Canada, Australia, yadda yadda — where everyone was so meek? Surely we can understand the idea that taxation without representation was the first step toward tyranny. So where is the tyranny? Where are Her Majesty’s concentration camps? Okay, there was the Boer War, I guess. But more generally, why is the history of America so different from that of the other colonies? Four: why does no one outside America seem to resent these unfortunate events at all? I mean, the Revolution was a war. People got pretty violent on both sides. In some parts of the world, when people lose a war, they don’t feel that it was just God’s will. They feel that God would be much more satisfied if there was some payback. And they tend to transmit this belief to their offspring. In the American unpleasantness, a lot of people — loyalists — got kicked out of their homes. They had to leave with only a small travel bag. When this sort of thing happens in the Middle East, it’s remembered for the life of the known universe. —An Open Letter to Open-Minded Progressives by Mencius Moldbug, Chapter 5.

"Killing Japanese didn't bother me very much at that time... I suppose if I had lost the war, I would have been tried as a war criminal.... Every soldier thinks something of the moral aspects of what he is doing. But all war is immoral and if you let that bother you, you're not a good soldier." —Curtis LeMay

"It says here in this history book that luckily, the good guys have won every single time. What are the odds?" —Meme of unknown providence