Rango/Funny

    Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


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    Owl: *singing* "¿Dónde están tus huevos?"

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    • Rango colliding with the windshield of the Red Shark, and The Reveal of Raoul Duke behind the wheel and Dr. Gonzo in the back seat.
    • "You keep thinking like that, your hat's gonna catch on fire." Guess what happens next.
    • Beans and Mr. Merrimack at the Bank.
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    Merrimack: "Beans, you've been like a niece to me, ever since your daddy..."
    Beans: *Death Glare*
    Merrimack: "...Did not fall drunk down a mine shaft."

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    Rango: "We all know exactly what we need to do now!" *aside* "And that would be?"
    Mayor: *quietly* "Form a posse."
    Rango: "Form a possum!"

    Mayor: *still quiet* "A posse."

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      • The sequence immediately after that.
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    Furgus: "What do we do now, sheriff?"
    Rango: "Now, we ride!"

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        • Cut to them riding off and blazing across the desert, heroic music blaring.
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    Spoons: "Where.. are we going?"

    Rango: "What?"

    Spoons: "Where are we going?!"

    Rango: "..."

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        • Cut to an embarrassed posse riding back into town.
    • Our introduction to Sgt. Turley with an arrow through his head.
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    Rango: *visibly freaking out* "You've... uh... got little something in your eye there."
    Turley: "Oh, that? That's conjunctivitis, sir. It's hereditary."

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    • The afternoon after catching Papi and his kin:
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    Wounded Bird: "The mayor has bought up all the land in the valley, except for your ranch, Miss Beans."
    Beans: "That just don't make no sense. Without water, that land is useless."
    Rango: "Unless he controls the water...like a monkey's bladder! Then he could bring it back once he's bought up all the land."
    Beans: "But how does he control the water?"
    Rango: "Well, you gotta spend some time, train 'em. Cause you know, monkeys, when they do go, you rub their nose in it."

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    • When Rango's posse is gathered around the campfire:
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    Elgin: "I coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies. They started lookin' at me weird."
    Furgus: "I remember them! They was quite friendly."

    Spoons: I found a human spinal column in my fecal matter once.

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    Rango: "Don't worry! I have a plan!" *turns to villains who just locked them in* "Heeeeelp! Open the door!"
    Beans: *eyeroll*
    Rango: "Okay! Plan B!"

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    • Rango first arriving in the saloon, making an impression:
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    Elbows: "Hey! Are you the fella who killed them Jenkins brothers?"
    Rango: "Uh huh. Killed them with one bullet. Don't get no deadder."
    Elgin: "All seven of them?"
    Rango: "... That's right. *clears throat* All seven of 'em."

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      • The story he comes up with to explain that is pretty hilarious too (what we get to hear of it, anyway).
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    Rango: "Bullet hits the shovel, ricochets back towards Number Three and THAT'S WHEN THE ROOF CAVED IN, igniting the thermos of pure grain alcohol instantly vaporizing his bodily form leaving nothing but a charcoal statue and a high-pitched squeal." *freezes in place* "Eeeeeee..."
    Ambrose: "Hold on there, that's only six. What happened to Number Seven?"
    Rango: "Number Seven? Hell, he died of infection."

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    • Rango setting Bad Bill's face on fire. Repeatedly. While Bill just Death Glares at him the whole time.
      • Even better: if you watch Bill you see that he's just about to speak when Rango burps fire into his face.
    • Pretty much the whole sequence when the posse is in the middle of the desert and Wounded Bird speaks up:
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    Wounded Bird: *scattering feathers in the air*
    Rango: "I see you're consulting with the spirits."
    Wounded Bird: "No, I'm molting. Means I'm ready to mate."
    Rango: "... oh. I-I'll keep that in mind..."
    Wounded Bird: *picks up a cactus fruit* "Cactus fruit."
    Rango: "Ahh, yes... The ancient cactus fruit. *takes the fruit* I believe your people use it as a seasoning when preparing your native dishes." *eats the fruit*
    Wounded Bird: "Also natural laxative."
    Rango: *chokes and coughs the fruit back out*
    Wounded Bird: "Shh, pick up trail. Three men, heading west. One blind, one with... *sniffs the air* ... enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle."

    Waffles: "What he say?"

    Furgus: "They're ridin' sidesaddle."

    Bartender: "WHAT?"

    Beans: "Sh! We're whispering."

    Spoons: "What'd he say?"

    Turley: "Someone's got a bad valve."

    Doc: "Alright, which one of you fellows needs a checkup?" *snaps rubber glove onto right hand*

    Beat

    Wounded Bird: "Awkward."

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    • Wounded Bird's analysis of the Inbred Rodents.
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    Rango: "Choleric varmints, ain't they?"
    Wounded Bird: "Dysfunctional family. Need intervention."

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    "Son of a -[hawk screeches)"

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    • The posse and the Mariachi Owls pretending to be thespians. Rango's voice makes it all the funnier.
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    Rango: "Good sir! Gracious good afternoon to thee and thee and thee! May I present, Madam Lupone's Terpsichorean Troupe of Traveling Thespians!"

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    • Spoons giving "the signal!"
    • The entire pre-fight and chase and fight scene with the hill clan and the posse counts as both a CMOF and CMOA.
    • The first time Beans comes out of her BSOD:
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    "And until the people of Andromeda Five return him safe and sound, I will not sell my ranch!"

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    • Rango gives a eulogy for Mr. Merrimack, the bank keeper:
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    "We are gathered here today to honor this man, Mr. Merrimack. You have the right to remain silent. Speak now or forever hold your peace. Amen."

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      • a.k.a. Fluffy Joe.
    • Rango giving a Death Glare to the Mariachi Owls to keep them from singing about his death in the Mojave Desert anymore.
    • In the extended ending of the film, Rango attempts to give one last speech with a silly, booming voice before riding off into the sunset on a roadrunner:
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    "My fellow comrades. There will be times when you doubt yourself. When you feel pummeled by the cataclysms of life, remember this moment. Remember me. Know that I will be there watching you, sometimes at inappropriate moments. That's part of the deal. And remember, within all of us resides the true Spirit of the-- [Rango suddenly falls off his roadrunner.] Let's take that from the top."

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    • Watch the end credits carefully - at one point, you can see the owl with the surf guitar imitate The Who, then Jimi Hendrix.