Sorting Algorithm of Mortality/WMG/Video Games

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Wild Mass Guesses about the Sorting Algorithm of Mortality in Video Games. See Sorting Algorithm of Mortality/WMG for the entry key for the lists.

Gears of War

Gears of War 2 is set to deal with Dom and the torment he goes through while trying to find his wife. Let's see if he, Marcus, and Cole make it!

  • Character A: Dom
  1. Dom is single, but way of being a widower. 3.5
  2. Straight, obviously, so 3.
  3. His Wife is the distressed damsel, and this is an action series. 1
  4. Dom is The Lancer if you've ever seen one. 3.
  5. Mexican, but only half. Nonetheless, 4.
  6. Doesn't really say.
  7. None of the above.
  8. A bit of a smartass, not as much as Baird, but it counts. 4.
  9. None of the above.
  10. Human. 3.
  11. He is a guy in the military AND the Hero's friend, so 4.
    • Total: 25.5/8 rows Final score: 3.1875. If he keeps his head down, he might make it.
  • Character B: Marcus Fenix
  1. Single Adult. 3
  2. Never says.
  3. None.
  4. Hero. 1.
  5. Caucasian. 1.
  6. Fashionably Scarred. 2.
  7. He is closest to The Captain in personality. 2.
  8. He fell astray in terms of got thrown in jail for desertion. 4.
  9. Fairly quiet. 4.
  10. Human 3.
  11. Again, in the military. 4.
    • Total: 24 /9 rows Final score: 2.66. I think he will be just fine.
  • Character C: Augustus Cole
  1. Seems to be single. 3.
  2. Never comes up.
  3. ' None.
  4. Arguably comic relief. 4.
  5. Black. 5.
  6. Average. 3.
  7. Closest to the Jerk Jock. 4.
  8. Cole is an awfully flat character, so not mentioned.
  9. Cole is an awfully flat character, so not mentioned.
  10. Human. 3.
  11. Military, 4.
    • Total: 26 /7 rows Final score: 3.7. The Cole train may be stopping pretty soon.

Modern Warfare

  • "Soap" MacTavish
    • Age: Seems to be single. 3.
    • Role: The Hero all the way. 1.
    • Race: Caucasian. 1.
    • Aesthetics: He's got a big, nasty scar over one of his eyes. 2.
    • Personality: The Captain. 2.
    • Virtues: Willing to do whatever it takes...probably a 5.
    • Final Score: 2.333... Not all that likely.
  • John Price
    • Age: He must be at least 40. 5.
    • Role: Hero of Another Story. 3.
    • Race: Caucasian. 1.
    • Aesthetics: Pretty normal, besides the pimpin' facial hair. 3.
    • Personality: He's got a few screws loose in MW 2, but he's a Captain. Let's average it out at 3.5.
    • Virtues: 20 years in SAS have given him a good stash of knowledge. 3.
    • Occupation: Hero's comrade. 4.
    • Final Score: 3.214285714. Questionable. Ready your tissues for MW 3, just in case.
  • Makarov
    • Age: Judging by that blow-up doll in his base, he's probably a 3.
    • Sexual Orientation: See Age. 3.
    • Role: Solid villain. 5.
    • Race: Caucasian. 1.
    • Aesthetics: Some people think he's hot, others are just not seeing it...let's go with 3.
    • Flaws: Will do anything for the right price. 5.
    • Occupation: He's a terrorist. 5.
    • Final Score: 3.571428571. Surprisingly low for a villain. Then again, if we consider his race to be a non-factor, we get a 4. Let's hope the developers go with the latter.
  • Foley
    • Age: Doesn't seem to be that old. 3.
    • Race: Black. 5.
    • Aesthetics: Normal. 3.
    • Personality: The Captain. 2.
    • Occupation: Military Commander. 4.
    • Final Score: 3.4. Things don't look too good for our favorite boss...person...guy.

Mass Effect

Yes, I'm aware that Anyone Can Die in Mass Effect. I just wanted to see their scores for ME 3 provided they lived to then.

Commander Shepard

    • Age: Adult. 3
    • Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3 (Though it sounds like Bioware might make it possible to change this in ME 3, I won't apply this, since romance is your own decision.)
    • Role: The Hero: 1
    • Race: probably White, 1
    • Aesthetics: (I'm leaving this out, since Shepard does everything the same regardless of if you make him ugly or not.)
    • Personality: The Captain(Paragon/Paragade): 2 / Jerk with a Heart of Gold (Renegade): 3
    • Flaws: I guess Smartass for talking that way to the Reapers, but it doesn't really fit. : 4
    • Virtues: Action Girl (!Fem Shep): 2 / Pragmatic(Renegade): 4 (I'll just land Paragon Shepard a 3)
    • Species: Human: 3
    • Occupation: Military Commander: 4
      • Final Score: 2.56-2.89. Give or take, a little over the average lifespan. It's very telling about the Reapers' plans that they've already managed to kill him once.

Liara T'Soni

    • Age: Single adult: 3
    • Sexual Orientation: Probably somewhere between straight and reluctant. Difficult due to her species being mono-gendered. 2.5
    • Love Interest: Shrinking Violet: 2
    • Role: Close to Jor-El, due to her archaeology background. 2.5 I guess (since she isn't really that either)
    • Aesthetics: The Cutie: 1 (Even among asari, Liara seems like this.)
    • Personality: Nerd: 3 (eh, only with the Prothean artifacts)
    • Flaws: (None of those really fit...)
    • Virtues: Quiet Girl, but also has Smart and probably Genre Savvy, given how much trouble she went to get Shepard's body. 3.5
    • Species: Pretty Aliens: 2
    • Occupation: "Adventurer" Archaeologist (She needs the first half even if she really wants to do the second half): 2
      • Final Score: 2.39. For one of the few characters guaranteed to survive ME 2, that's still a decently high score. Though, it's still lower than most others, I anticipate.

Garrus Vakarian

    • Age: Single adult: 3
    • Sexual Orientation: Straight: 3
    • Love Interest: His relationship could be considered "temporary" at the time, given that he was headed into a suicide mission. 4. (Where it goes after ME 2, may change this)
    • Role: The Lancer: 3
    • Aesthetics: Well most (in-game)people say turians are ugly, but Garrus isn't that bad, really. And he has the whole "rocket-to-the-face" scars going for him. I'd say 2.
    • Personality: He's idealistic, but not Innocent. He's probably somewhere between The Captain (for his Omega work) and Jerk with a Heart of Gold. 2.5
    • Species: Human alien: 3
    • Occupation: He's a former C-Sec officer, but not quite in the same way as most Retirony cases go; he still wants more action. He is still very much the Hero's friend, however. 4.5.
      • Final Score: 3.125. He's at a slightly higher risk of death, but he's already stared it down more than once. What's one more time?

Tali'Zorah

    • Age: She just became an adult. 3.
    • Sexual Orientation: Straight: 3 (She was going to be also a possible same-sex interest, but it was dummied out.)
    • Love Interest: Shrinking Violet. 2.
    • Role: Unfortunately, with her track record, she's going the path of the Loner. 4.
    • Aesthetics: Without seeing what she looks like with that helmet off, she looks just like any other quarian. 3.
    • Personality: She's closer to a nerd than anything else. 3
    • "Virtues": Quiet girl. 4.
    • Species: Human alien: 3
    • Occupation: Definitely Shepard's friend. 4.
      • Final Score: 3.22. Again, like Garrus, higher risk of death, but nothing too staggeringly short.

Mordin Solus

    • Age: Very old for a salarian. But debatable whether he was Older and Wiser, or just a plain old single adult. It leans toward the former (based on his religious beliefs) so he's a 4.5.
    • Sexual Orientation: He's apathetic about anyone who's not Shepard. Probably something between celibate and reluctant. 1.5.
    • Role: Plucky Comic Relief. 4.
    • Aesthetics: He's got the scars, but they're not quite as prominent as Garrus's. He's otherwise quite average. 2.5.
    • Personality: He's a med nerd, definitely. But he has shades of Crazy Survivalist as well (what with the farming equipment). 3.75?
    • Virtues: He straddles a line between Smart and Curious. Probably around 4, then.
    • Species: Human Alien. 3.
    • Occupation: Scientist with questionable morality. 3.
      • Final Score: 3.28. Those high scores were really starting to make me fear for Mordin's life, but it all boils down to only slightly less-lived than average, somehow. But, with Mordin at the end of his life, that may be sooner than you might think.

Samara

    • Age: Older and Wiser: 5.
    • Sexual Orientation: As straight as asari can be. 3. (She is celibate now, but not in the past.)
    • Role: She has shades of the Obi-Wan, and is definitely a loner. 4.5.
    • Aesthetics: Your call on if she is a "cutie". I find her more toward the average part. 2.5.
    • Virtues: More quiet than is probably good for her. 4.
    • Species: Pretty Alien. 2.
    • Occupation: She's old enough to probably give an Obi-Wan moment, and she is definitely a competent female fighter. 5 on both counts.
      • Final Score: 3.71. I picked Samara deliberately because I believed she was going to be more likely to die than the rest. While she is notably higher up in the score than the rest, she still is not quite as toast as I thought she was going to be.

Wrex

    • Age: He's older than Samara. If that's not Older and Wiser, nothing is. 5.
    • Role: He is a Lancer and Hero of Another Story (regarding his work with the krogan). He had the Loner part, but he has ditched it in ME 2. 3.25.
    • Aesthetics: Scars, as befitting a krogan. 2.
    • Personality: He was pretty fatalistic in ME 1, but it seems he has grown out of it. Still the Jerk with a Heart of Gold, though. 3.5
    • Virtues: He's the most pragmatic of the krogan, at least with regards to breeding instead of fighting. He fights like a krogan, but he probably more willing to improvise than most. 5.
    • Species: Krogan are closer to a human species than anything. 3.
    • Occupation: He's certainly Shepard's friend. Whether you can call him a mentor is up to you. 4.5.
      • Final Score: 3.75. Pretty bad off, considering how important he is. The fact that ME 2 defaults to his death is really telling of this. Plus, he is nearly a thousand years old. He must be approaching the end of that lifespan soon.
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