Amsterdamned
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Somewhere, somewhere in the black night —"Amsterdamned" by Lois Lane
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Amsterdamned is a Dutch horror thriller movie from 1988 by Dick Maas (The Lift, Flodder).
The film is set in the eponymous (damned!) capital, where a Serial Killer wearing a scuba gear is prowling in the city canals and uses them to get to his victims.
Amsterdam was damned by:
- Eighties Hair
- Absolute Cleavage: Laura's date wear.
- Absurdly Spacious Sewer: Eric chases the killer into one.
- A Date with Rosie Palms: "He's in the john, I expect that he's masturbating."
- Alone with the Psycho
- Animal Reaction Shot: From a cat, during the raft attack.
- Ankle Drag: Happens to the second environmentalist.
- Ate His Gun: The killer, and a harpoon gun at that.
- Attempted Rape: A taxi driver tries to force the prostitute he's accompanying to perform oral sex on him. Unfortunately for him, she bites.
- Badass: Eric.
- Bald of Evil: The killer.
- Big Damn Heroes: Eric and Vermeer arriving just as Laura is about to be dragged under by the killer.
- Blood Is Squicker in Water
- Blood-Splattered Innocents: The prostitute's body is hung from a bridge, and ends up entering a tour boat filled with (among other types) young children and nuns.
- Bow Ties Are Cool: Willy.
- Bus Full of Innocents: Appear throughout the boat chase.
- Butt Monkey: Vermeer.
- Carry a Big Stick: When she thinks he's the killer, Laura beats Martin with a boat oar.
- Chase Scene: Two; the first one has the police chasing a suspect on a motorcycle, and the second one has Eric chase the actual killer on boats they commandeer.
- The Coroner: Sam.
- Covers Always Lie: One makes it look kind of like an alien invasion film.
- Crazy Homeless People: The bag lady.
- Daylight Horror: The raft victim and John's deaths.
- Disposable Sex Worker: The first victim.
- Disturbed Doves: Or ducks, in this case.
- Driven to Suicide: The killer.
- The Drunken Sailor: One of the victims.
- Epic Fail: The main suspect tries to jump an opening bridge on his motorcycle, and fails rather badly.
- Everyone Is a Suspect
- Evil Overlooker
- Eye Scream: "Her eyes were already fish food." And there's also something wrong with one of the sailor victim's eye.
- Facial Horror: When the killer's face is finally revealed, it's pretty fucked up.
- Fan Disservice: The prostitute's naked, mutilated body.
- Fan Service with a Smile
- Fight Scene: An underwater one, between John and the killer.
- Friend to Psychos: Martin, though rather unknowingly.
- Good Colors, Evil Colors: The killer's gear is black, and he steals a black speedboat, while John's gear is yellow, and Eric chases after the killer's boat with a yellow one.
- Good Cop, Bad Cop: Vermeer and Eric, respectively.
- Gory Discretion Shot: The killer committing suicide.
- Gratuitous English
- Grimy Water
- Grievous Bottley Harm: The main suspect lost his job when, in a drunken rage, he attacked someone with a broken bottle.
- Groin Attack: The taxi driver getting bit, and the raft victim getting knifed.
- Hair of Gold: Laura.
- Harpoon Gun: Vermeer gets shot in the arm with one, while Eric sustains a shot to the shoulder a bit later. The killer also commits suicide with one.
- Hazardous Water
- Hope Spot: The second environmentalist swims to shore and flags down a passing truck, but is dragged underwater before help can reach him.
- Hostile Weather: It suddenly becomes stormy during the finale.
- I Know Karate: "No reason to be afraid, I do judo."
- Impending Doom POV: The opening.
- Jerkass: The taxi driver, and the suspect.
- Kid Detective: Anneke and Willy.
- Knife Nut
- Little Miss Snarker: Anneke.
- Lock and Load Montage: The killer gets one.
- Malevolent Masked Men
- Man Bites Man: The first victim deals with the taxi driver trying to force her to perform fellatio on him via biting.
- Mirror Scare
- Moe Greene Special: Eric manages to shoot the killer right in the diving goggles.
- Mr. Exposition: Martin.
- Murderer POV
- Nerd Glasses: Willy.
- No Name Given: Most of the victims, and the killer.
- Obstructive Bureaucrat: The mayor.
- Off with His Head: The first environmentalist's death.
- Once Is Not Enough: Averted.
- One Word Title
- Peek-a-Boo Corpse: After his buddy disappears from their boat, the second enviromentalist pulls in the anchor, and discovers his friend's head impaled on it. Later on, John is scared when a dead sailor pops out of a closet while he is exploring a sunken ship.
- Perma-Stubble: Eric.
- Perp Sweating
- Pie in the Face: Eric stops a bakery robbery by handcuffing the robber, and slamming his face into a cake. It is evidently delicious.
- Pipe Pain: While doing her own little investigation with Willy, Anneke grabs one.
- Portmantitle
- Ramp Jump: With boats!
- Red Herring: The most prominent one being Martin.
- Scenery Porn
- The Scourge of God: The Salvationist died after stealing some money.
- Scream Discretion Shot: The raft victim getting knifed between the legs.
- Seers: Willy claims to be one.
- Serrated Blade of Pain: "He used a similar instrument, but the knife was another type. One important difference is it had a serrated edge."
- Serial Killer
- Shirtless Scene: Eric.
- The Shrink: Martin.
- Slashed Throat: John's death.
- Spiteful Spit: While being interrogated, a suspect spits in Eric's face.
- Spooky Seance: Held by Willy.
- Stealing From the Till: A Salvationist pockets some of the donations she's collected.
- Stranger Behind the Mask: The killer is a random ex-diver pissed off at society because he was disfigured in a toxic waste-related incident.
- Stuff Blowing Up: The killer crashes his own boat into another, resulting in a fiery explosion.
- Tears of Blood: When the sailor's dead body is found, blood appears to be leaking from one of his eyes.
- Ungrateful Bastard: The bakery owner.
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"You used excessive force, and you ruined my cake!" |
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- Vader Breath
- The Voiceless: The killer.