Britain's Got Talent

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Britain's Got Talent, having recently finished its sixth series, is a Talent Show where people perform talent acts with the aim of winning a public vote and perform in front of HM The Queen (for the second series HRH The Prince of Wales) at The Royal Variety Show. Each contestant performs in front of three judges. The judges have three buzzers and can push them if they want the act to stop. All three buttons pressed- the act stops. Tolerated primarily for the ridiculous and often hilariously bad auditions and the inevitable scathing responses.

The judges here are/were:

  • Simon Cowell (2007-present); The Mean Brit, even in his own country; sat out the auditions in the 2011 series but returned for the 2011 live shows and onwards
  • Amanda Holden (2007-present); comedy actress and model (Google Image Search will generate underwear)
  • Piers Morgan (2007-2010); former editor of the Daily Mirror; left after the 2010 series to build his career in America
    • Morgan is dubbed "Piers Moron" by Private Eye as Ian Hislop has a long-standing feud with him, was actually sacked by the paper after running pictures purporting to show Iraqis being abused by British troops. That were in fact mocked up -- in the UK. Military commentators spotted errors very quickly.
    • Morgan is probably the least popular man on British TV. Stephen Fry -- the most cuddly man in the world -- defined "countryside" as killing Piers Morgan on I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, and angry environmentalists say of Jeremy Clarkson "but he did punch Piers Morgan".
  • Kelly Brook (2009); model and actress (Google Image search is probably NSFW). She was briefly a judge for season three, but four judges was found to be impractical and she was made redundant.
  • Louis Walsh (2010-present); one of Cowell's co-judges on The X Factor; not a regular judge on this show, but occasionally shows up when one of the other judges is ill or otherwise busy
  • David Hasselhoff (2011); former America's Got Talent judge
  • Michael McIntyre (2011); stand-up comedian
  • Alesha Dixon (2012-present); singer, recently defected from Strictly Come Dancing
  • David Walliams (2012-present); comedian and actor

The two hosts of the show are Ant and Dec.

The show also airs a spin-off, Britain's Got More Talent, after each episode of the main show. This show is hosted by magician/presenter Stephen Mulhern and focuses more on the backstage elements of the show, with a stronger emphasis on comedy.

Has a Trans-Atlantic Equivalent in the form of America's Got Talent, which debuted first in 2006 due to issues with the British pilot.


Tropes used in Britain's Got Talent include:
  • Camp Straight - David Walliams, the happily married judge who likes to refer to "my Simon" and championing Camp Gay acts such as the Show Bears and the Sugar Dandies.
  • Canon Discontinuity - Two acts in the first season were put through in auditions, and then put through to the semi-finals, but mysteriously vanished from the line-up before the live shows started, replaced by two previously eliminated. Both turned out to have dubious legal dealings, and were quietly kicked off the show. In fact, at no point was their departure ever mentioned on screen, so viewers were left a bit confused.
    • Neil Horan, a former priest who infamously ruined a marathon by running out on the track (and was convicted for it), not only auditioned, but passed. Needless to say, the judges had no idea who he was, and once they found out, he was removed (again, quietly) from the running for the semi-finals.
  • Determinator - David J. Watson, the only person to date who has auditioned for the show on three separate occasions. He first appeared in 2008, where he did political impersonation act that was hilarious for all the wrong reasons, then showed up again in 2010 where he performed a bizarre mix of The Incredible Hulk and Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. His most recent appearance in 2011 saw him try to pull off "magic trick" that didn't really amount to anything more than a high school science experiment.
  • Drag Queen - Simon Cowell half-jokingly asked auditionee Tracy Lee Collins to come back in a dress. He did, and the results were pretty awesome, actually.
  • Distracted by the Sexy - Simon on a regular basis. Anytime there is a pretty woman on stage he can't stop grinning, and the cameras show him blatantly checking them out. So much so there is a video called Britian's Got Pervert... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8xsZB2GO-M&feature=player_detailpage
    • Lampshaded by the other judges multiple times
  • Epic Fail - James Boyd's act was to try to beat the world record for the number of Ferrero Rocher chocolates eaten in one minute. The record was seven, and he managed... four. To make it an even more spectacular failure, Ant tried the same act backstage and beat him by eating five in the same amount of time.
    • Boyd returned one year later to attempt the world record for most After Eight mints eaten without using his hands. The record was eight, and after seven months of practice, he managed... five. Mostly because he didn't prepare all of his mints beforehand. Ant tried his hand again, and actually tied the record of eight!
      • As his time was running out, Boyd began using his hands. That's right, Boyd cheated and STILL failed.
  • Fan Girl - If you're a attractive young man without a shirt on, expect a yes from Amanda.
    • Lampshaded by Ant & Dec with the martial arts duo Strike from season 2, who mentioned that Strike had, among other things, "...a judge who fancies the pants off them." Actually, come to think of it, Amanda's fangirling over Strike was lampshaded by just about everybody.
    • One male act in the 2010 series actually striped off completely naked, and Amanda's reaction was precisely as enthusiastic as you'd expect. Despite the act in question having probably his best ever chance of getting through to the semi-finals, with Louis Walsh standing in for Simon, he wasn't voted through.
  • Filler
  • Furry Fandom - Bizarrely evoked in one scene of Britain's Got More Talent (Series 3), where Stephen Mulhern inexplicibly greets Ant and Dec dressed in a full body fox costume (fur and all). They were as confused as the viewers (and onlookers, it was right in the entrance hall of the arena) were.
  • Incredibly Lame Pun - One of these earned an impressionist the rare honour of being buzzed off before even being allowed to perform his act. He nonchalantly walked out on to the stage wearing a custard doughnut on his head, and when Piers questioned what it was doing there, the contestant replied "I've just been to the hairdressers, and I've got my hair in a bun." The judges showed their appreciation of this joke by all hitting their buzzers at once, and the hapless contestant left without having done a single impression.
  • Hopeless Auditionees
  • Manipulative Editing - A specific example: Part of the reason the Susan Boyle story was such a runaway success was the brilliant editing of the clip that introduced her. For the first two minutes, she is set up as a classic Hopeless Auditionee: they seem to find the most unflattering shots of her (the very first one we see is her biting into a sandwich); the background music is a slow, lumbering oom-pah-pah melody; she herself seems rather... quirky ("And that's just one side of me!", followed by a shimmy), if not quite as deluded as most Hopeless Auditionees. If anything, the viewer would feel pity for this poor old woman who is about to embarrass herself on national television. And then, of course, she sings. Re-watching the audition (as many, many people did) gives the opening an entirely different tone: Boyle's unusual self-confidence is now perfectly understandable, and her quirks therefore seem more endearing. But it's clear that the editing is actually setting her up as the underdog: note the very large number of cynical reaction shots (one of these, the "girl at 1:24", actually gained notoriety because of this), and the way the goofy music suddenly disappears when Susan delivers her most heartfelt line: "I've always wanted to perform in front of a large audience". Needless to say, it all worked like a charm, and it became one of the biggest pop culture stories of 2009.
  • Ms. Fanservice - Amanda Holden
  • The Mean Brit - Simon AND Piers. Granted, Piers is a little less negative than on America's Got Talent.
  • Name's the Same - In addition to the aforementioned David J. Watson, another David Watson auditioned in 2009, this time performing a singing act. Unfortunately, this David Watson was about as good at singing as the first one was at doing impressions. There was one difference between the two however, as David Watson the singer took his failure with good humour and said he still enjoyed the experience, while David Watson the impressionist (and later magician and Dancing Hulk) always seems genuinely shocked when no-one likes his acts.
    • In addition, there's the 2008 dancing auditionee David Williams who was far from pleased with Simon's comments and the 2012 judge David Walliams (which is a stage name; his real name indeed being David Williams).
  • Odd Couple: Simon Cowell and David Walliams.
  • Refuge in Audacity: In the "Interval Pub Games" sketch in Britain's Got More Talent, the winner in the pub game between Ant and Dec becomes the "Top Ranker". Now, understanding what other word ranker sounds like, everyone proceeds to repeatedly chant "Ranker!" at the winner.
  • The Runner Up Takes It All - Susan Boyle has a multi-platinum album, and everybody just assumes she won Series 3 thanks to Memetic Mutation, but...
    • Having said that, Diversity, the actual winners of that series have still had the best career out of any BGT finalist to date apart from Susan Boyle. It probably safe to say that had the runner-up of that series been anyone except Boyle, this trope wouldn't have applied.
  • Seinfeld Is Unfunny - Frequently invoked by the judges, particularly with regard to dance groups. Even otherwise competent acts can get buzzed off near-instantly if they're regarded to be too similar to a previously successful act.
  • Trans-Atlantic Equivalent - America's Got Talent.
  • What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome? - On the side of the contestants in the defense of their usually poor acts. In a meta sense, the need to play Lux Aeterna or some derivative of otherwise epic music at EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY!
  • What the Hell, Hero? - After chanting, "OFF! OFF! OFF!" for the entirety of one (very bad) act, the audience booed loudly at Simon Cowell when he gave a damning review of the act. He turned to them and pointed out their blatant hypocrisy.
    • The judges (excluding Simon, obviously) have had these moments, as well, such as Piers buzzing during a tense audition featuring a man balacing upside down on sword handles, inches above a knife pointed at his face. The buzzer sounding off nearly sent the auditionee facefirst into the blade. The other Judges rightfully called Piers out for it.