Have I Mentioned I Am Gay?

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Greg: Why are we always holding hands?
Terry: How else would people know we're gay?

Greg: Oh. Yeah, you're right.

Have I Mentioned I Am Gay? is when we know that a particular character is gay because we are told so, often repeatedly, and not because we actually see them display any sort of romantic feeling or sexual attraction toward characters of the same gender. The character is out of the closet, and may even proudly talk about past relationships, but we, the audience, never see them going on dates with the same gender, let alone actually having sex. You might notice that on United States TV, you'll see girl-on-girl kissing, but never boy-on-boy unless it's a huge punchline, because Most Writers Are Male and Girl-On-Girl Is Hot. Every once in a while, especially in the later seasons of a show, the writers will become aware of this trope and suddenly (well, as sudden as it can be after three or four seasons) do a single episode that deals with the character's sexuality.

Often involves Token Gays and Unfortunate Implications, the main implication being that gays are lonely. The polar opposite of Ambiguously Gay, and often the inverse of the Transparent Closet. Sometimes overlaps with Invisible to Gaydar. See also: Word of Gay (when this comes from an author announcement rather than in-story), Get Back in the Closet, Urban Legend Love Life. If the character does get enough action for their sexuality to be more than an Informed Attribute, but still less than others, that's But Not Too Gay. When involving bisexuals, that is But Not Too Bi

Contrast Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?

Examples of Have I Mentioned I Am Gay? include:

Comic Books

  • Bryan Hand from the Ms. Tree comics (although it is justified in story by him claiming to have been celibate since the death of his long-term partner).
  • Both parodied and subverted in Scott Pilgrim via Scott's roommate Wallace. We initially learn that Wallace is gay not because of his actions, but rather because no-one will shut up about it to the point where it becomes blatantly superfluous. Later we do actually see Wallace in relationships with men, however it's often intentionally exaggerated to draw attention to itself (especially so in The Movie).
  • The only reason anyone knows that Northstar from Alpha Flight and the X-Men is gay is because he can't seem to go five minutes without referencing that fact. To be fair, he's now actually got a steady boyfriend, but in the days right after he came out, it seemed like he couldn't stop coming out.


  • The Celluloid Closet goes on about this.
  • Uncle Frank in Little Miss Sunshine is a justified example, as he'd just been discharged from hospital after a traumatic break-up led to him attempting suicide. The film only spanned about a week, so for him to hook up with someone new during that time would've been downright odd.
    • More of an aversion really, they actually run into the ex AND the more esteemed professor he left Frank for right as Frank is buying some hardcore (mostly straight) porn for someone else.
  • Troy, Eve's male BFF in Blast from the Past.

Eve: (to Adam, about Troy) "He's gay, by the way."
Adam: (to Troy, thinking Eve means that Troy is happy) "Well, good for you!"
Troy: (confused) "Well, I do try..."

  • Jan, from Half Baked
  • Victor Melling from Miss Congeniality
    • Maybe. He does tell Grace to not say anything when Kathy Morningside shows up as he attempts to woo her, and he only did that whole "Come on Muffin!" thing to screw with Matthews. Sure, he's a fashion director (or something) in the Miss America pageant, but that could be just him being Camp Straight.
  • Tomboy in George Romero's Survival of the Dead
  • JD from Saving Silverman mentions he's gay a few times.
  • Damian from Mean Girls being "almost too gay to function" doesn't seem to involve him dating or even being attracted to men. Although to some extent this can be Truth in Television for gay teens in high school (the not-dating part) as there are often few openly gay kids around.


  • In The House of Night, Damien is kind of like this, until he gets a boyfriend (so there at least is an excuse to mention that he is gay).
  • In Otherland, Susan van Bleeck's butler, Jeremiah Dako, is openly gay but, due to the circumstances of his employment and later, his involvement with the protagonists' quest, he is never shown having a relationship. He laments this in character, subtly lampshading the trope.
  • In Cell, one of the characters randomly reveals he is gay for one line. It is never brought up again.

Live Action TV

  • Will and Grace spent a while getting Will a boyfriend while securing Grace as his soul mate. A prominent episode in the first season being one where Grace has a boring romance in the typical manner with some guy in Story A, with Story B focusing on Will talking on the phone to some guy that he liked, in an unnecessary, one-episode version of He Who Must Not Be Seen.
    • Not to mention Jack, most of the time. Sure, he's sometimes seen with a date, but mostly he's seen talking about being on or going on a date. However, this being Jack, he could have been stretching the truth a lot of the time.
    • This trope is actually the subject of one episode, where a show the character watches has two gay men in a relationship about to kiss, only for the camera to pan away before the kiss can be shown. Jack goes on a crusade to protest this and demand the network own up to it and show two men kissing, with Will following along a bit more reluctantly. Eventually they're live on the air, and Jack demands "How long until I can see two men kissing on network television?!" only for Will to announce "Not as long as you think" and kiss him to make the point. (Both in-universe and out-of-universe, presumably.)
  • Mark in the early seasons of Ugly Betty.
  • Eric Van Der Woodsen from Gossip Girl might also fit this. One episode featured his "outing" in it's A-story, yet to date he never seems to be closer than 8 inches to his "boyfriend". If you were to watch the show muted, you would probably just guess they were just friends.
  • Serena Southerlyn from Law and Order. To be fair though, the show doesn't really show any of the main characters romances.
  • Jody, Billy Crystal's character in Soap, verbally informed the audience of his sexual preference pretty much every episode. But you never saw him going out with women more often than with other guys.
    • To be fair, he'd usually drop the "Have I mentioned" in response to someone[1] suggesting that he could be "normal" if he'd just give girls an honest try.
    • Soap was Fair for Its Day - since Jodie was the first openly gay regular character on a primetime American television show, even a mere verbal declaration of his sexual orientation was groundbreaking.
      • The show's producers and ABC's standards and practices department really walked on eggshells with regards to their treatment of Jody. A few years earlier, NBC had cancelled the sitcom Snip less than a month before its pilot episode's scheduled debut—it didn't even get the chance to be a One-Episode Wonder—because of the public backlash over what would have been the first open gay character on an American TV series.
  • Ashley's friend Griffin in The Secret Life of the American Teenager He did eventually end up getting a love interest (Peter), but they've seldom appeared since they hooked up.
  • Queer as Folk, strangely enough. Vic is undoubtedly gay, but is portrayed as almost asexual for a long time.
  • During the first season of QI, Stephen Fry pointed out quite often that he's into man on man action, while the panelists rarely commented on this. The later seasons have developed into a general parade of Ho Yay, with many of the panelists openly flirting with Fry. As a rule of thumb, the later in the show a particular episode is, the more homoeroticism will be present.
  • Britannia High had Jez, in which his father mentions him being gay and Jez confirms it later on. There's also when a guy who likes Jez tells Lola, one of Jez's friends to ask him out for him, in which she does, but Jez thinks she's pointing to an ugly guy stood next to the other guy, who both have similar shirts. Hilarity Ensues. However, this is never mentioned again and Jez does not get a boyfriend/kiss/hug/love interest at all. Instead, he gets a kiss from a girl.
  • Glee spends multiple episodes reinforcing the fact that Kurt Hummel is gay - his crush on classmate Finn is a plot point during the first season - and yet the boy still hasn't gotten a consensual gay kiss. Finally subverted as of Original Song, with a very passionate kiss with Blaine.
  • In Living Color had a sketch in which a gay man (played by Jim Carrey) would just randomly go up to people and say "Hi. I'm gay."
  • Daffyd from Little Britain.
  • The MTV series of Teen Wolf features Danny, who so far has had his not otherwise apparent sexuality referenced as many times as he has spoken lines.
  • In House, Thirteen's bisexuality is mentioned almost every episode, yet we have only ever seen her with a girl once: when she was on a binge of drug use and one night stands upon discovering that she had less time left than she thought due to her Huntington's Disease worsening.
  • Warehouse13 has Steve J Inks, he mentions that he is gay while Claudia is going on about how they can't have an Office Romance. He is Invisible to Gaydar so it would be hard to figure out. He never had any romantic relationships in the Season he was in but to be fair, no one had a romantic relationship in that season. he was killed in the finale but Claudia is shown holding on to an immortality artifact
  • Top Chef features at least one openly homosexual contestant in almost every season. Many of them make sure everybody knows their orientation as soon as possible. Ash in Season 6 states that he's the only chef "with a boyfriend," and then pauses for a second before elaborating, "a same-sex boyfriend."

Video Games

  • Samantha Traynor in Mass Effect 3, though this trope only comes into play if a male Shepard tries to flirt with her, as she is never seen interacting with the rest of the crew. She'll happily strike up a romance with a female Shepard, though.
    • In fairness, she has somewhat flirty conversations with (bisexual) Diana Allers, and she comments on the attractiveness of EDI's voice.
    • Steve Cortez is even more so. Even if you play as Femshep you kind of get overloaded by his gayness. Even though he is largely Invisible to Gaydar in terms of characterization, about 80% of your interactions with him regard him trying to get over his dead husband. Tragic though that is, most of your crew members have had far worse things happen to them and complain far less.

Web Comics

Web Original


Reporter: (after the video link with another reporter cuts out due to zombies) OH GOD! We lost the video! I'm still gay, but we don't know where Dave is!


Western Animation

  • There was a Very Special Episode of The Simpsons guest starring John Waters that revolved around homosexuality. Though the Waters character was undeniably flamboyant, one awkward conversation with Smithers aside, he never actually shows his sexual preference.
  • In the "Honey Pot" episode of Archer, Sterling Archer attempts to seduce a gay man by posing as a ridiculous stereotype of one: he dyes his hair blond and wears roller skates, skin-tight short shorts, and a shirt that says "Got Dick?"
  • Stewie Griffin of Family Guy is constantly hinted as being gay but it's never amounted to anything, which is a bit suspicious considering the amount of girls he's been with or crushed on.
  • Terry and Greg from American Dad apply to this; though their relationship has driven the plot several times and they are common characters, the most intimate they get is holding hands and the occasional innuendo. Even lampshaded in Don't Look a Smith Horse in the Mouth:

Greg: Why are we always holding hands?
Terry: How else would people know we're gay?
Greg: Oh. Yeah, you're right.

  1. Usually Bert