Pandaemonium
| Written by: | Christopher Brookmyre |
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| First published: | August 13, 2009 |
Pandaemonium is the thirteenth novel by Scottish author Christopher Brookmyre. It was published in 2009. It's a stand alone and it's a bit different from his other works; that being said, the style and tone is still very much recognizable as being Brookmyre's.
Somewhere secluded in Scotland, the U.S Army is carrying out a top-secret military experiment which has led to such astounding results they've called on the Vatican itself for advice and support: They fear they may literally have opened the gates to hell. The project's scientists, however, are not impressed with this explanation and even less impressed with the clergy taking control, and discord abounds.
In the meantime a busful of Scottish teenagers and their put-upon teachers are heading for the area's outdoor activity center where they will (officially) be spending the weekend therapeutically coming to terms with a fellow student having murdered a class mate before committing suicide, or (realistically) gossiping, partying and getting drunk and high on what they've smuggled along, and (optimistically) getting laid.
The teens think the greatest challenges they will face this weekend are finding someone to hook up with, avoiding teacher detection and interference, avoiding ending up rooming with someone undesirable and avoiding aggravating Big Kirk. They are, of course, very much mistaken.
- Abandoned Area
- Adrenaline Makeover: Rosemary Breslin
- Armoured Closet Gay: Kirk Burns
- Asshole Victim: Fat Bastard Julie Meiklejohn is among the first of the kids to be killed off.
- Big Damn Heroes: Twice. First, there's Kirk Burns with a chainsaw. Second is Deso and Rosemary with a flamethrower.
- Break Out the Museum Piece: Bows and arrows.
- Break the Badass: Kirk Burns is terrified after his first brush with the enemy. And this is the guy the nerd and closest-thing-to-a-main-character Adnan classified thusly: Warrior Class: Undisputed Best Fighter. Status: Fucking Mental. Strength: Hard As Fuck. Weakness: None Documented.
- Break the Haughty: Gillian loses her mind after encountering a demon, and tells everyone who will listen that they are doomed, or are already dead and being punished in the afterlife.
- Can't Act Perverted Toward a Love Interest: Rocks aka Paul Roxburgh.
- Class Trip
- Cool Teacher: Stewart Kane - can also be the Stern Teacher.
- Exotic Weapon Supremacy: Sort of. Nothing arcane but Kirk Burns getting up close and personal with a chainsaw is pretty badass.
- Facing the Bullets One-Liner: Stewart Kane.
- Fartillery: Beansy. adly not used against the demons, despite there being a flamethrower on hand.
- Fridge Brilliance: Kirk doesn't join in when Rocks and Dazza are discussing girls. He prefers guys.
- Gaydar: Matt Wilson knows Kirk Burns is gay and matter of factly tells him so.
- Gayngst: Kirk Burns - and perhaps also the detached Matthew Wilson to some degree.
- The Generic Guy: Four girls: Michelle, Roisin, Carol-Ann and Ruth. Adnan refers to their clique as Mostly Harmless.
- Genius Bruiser: Well, probably not an actual genius but Kirk Burns is a lot smarter than he's letting on.
- Girl Posse: Referred to by Adnan as Back-Biting Bitches.
- Grievous Harm with a Body: One demon uses Julie Meiklejohn's severed head and spinal column as a weapon to kill Liam Donnelly.
- I Know Mortal Combat: Adnan, only it was Doom.
- Man On Fire: Happens in the beginning - not very fatal.
- Non-Giving-Up-School Guy: The deputy head Dan Guthrie. He tries very hard for Stern Teacher but this doesn't work out well.
- Now or Never Kiss: Rosemary and Deso
- Punch Clock Villain: Rocks and Dazza are both sick of the reputations they've gained from hanging around Kirk for so long, and are wary of his growing obsession with Matt. Dazza is killed when he goes to stop Kirk from stabbing Matt in revenge for Dunnsy's death.
- Redemption Equals Death: How Deputy Dan sees his Heroic Sacrifice.
- Sequel Hook: Adnan is trapped in the Demon's Realm, where Cardinal Tullian is being worshipped by the demons as their god.
- Took a Level in Badass: Several characters, most noticeably Kirk and Rosemary.
- Wild Teen Party: Of course.