Professional Wrestling/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Tonight in This Very Ring... You'll laugh so hard, it hurts!

For more funny stuff, see these company and wrestler pages:

  • The match between The Super Smash Brothers (including Player Uno) and Delirious/Hallowicked's team Incoherence. All of it. Especially because Delirious spends most of the match trading oldschool video game references with Player Uno.

Delirious: TurboGrafx-16!
(audience cheers)
Louden Noxious: (on commentary) You got your wish, Mikey. You happy?
Mike Quackenbush: (on commentary) That was a wish that could've gone unfulfilled.
Louden Noxious: Incoherence is really playing some mind games with the Super Smash Brothers...
Player Uno: Nintendo 64!
Louden Noxious: ...getting under their skin, these various--
Delirious: 3D0!
(audience groans)
Player Uno: GET OUT!
Mike Quackenbush: "Get out!" says Player Uno, as does every self-respecting gamer!

(audience groans very loudly; the ref stumbles and falls over in shock)
Louden Noxious: We normally have trouble understanding Delirious, but that was loud and clear!

  • Delirious doesn't know the meaning of the word "kayfabe".
  • Damn pause button!
  • The legendary entrance of The Shockmaster in WCW. You gotta give the other wrestlers and the commentators credit for not busting out laughing after seeing it. This didn't stop the commentary from losing it, though, and even the British Bulldog can be clearly heard saying "He fell right on his fucking arse!"
    • You can hear Ric Flair losing it as well, exclaiming "Oh god! Oh my!"
  • Back in Extreme Championship Wrestling, Joey Styles had some pretty funny one-liner reactions to what was going on in the ring. One of the things he would occasionally say (aside from replacing his trademark "OH MY GOD!!!" with "AY DIOS MIO!!!") happened whenever a luchador jumped from the ring so far he landed in one of the first few rows: "And it's Take-Home-A-Luchador night here in the ECW Arena!"
    • (as the crowd breaks out into a chant of "Holy shit!") "My mother's gonna hate me for sayin' this, but...HOLY SHIT!"
      • The poor production values alone added fuel to the fire. Since typical ECW shows didn't have the big screen displays common in WCW and WWF/E, and since a match that starts in the ring isn't guaranteed to stay in the ring, parts of the crowd can end up left in the dark. One match involved two wrestlers brawling out behind the bleachers in one half of the building while fans in the other half chanted, "I CAN'T SEE SHIT! I CAN'T SEE SHIT!"
  • It is hard to choose the funniest moment of the Andy Kaufman-Jerry Lawler feud, but Andy's video tutorial series for the people of Memphis (Lawler's turf) on how to use soap, toilet paper, etc. is definitely up there.
  • "STOP THE CHAIRS! STOP THE CHAIRS! Do not throw chairs into the ring!"
  • The ECW ring collapses.
  • THIS...IS...AWE...SOME. * clap...clap...clapclapclap*
  • On an episode of World Championship Wrestling Thunder, Kevin Nash served as a guest commentator. Botchamania put video of this into its 94th edition...and Nash is much more entertaining as a commentary guy than as a wrestler.

(deep voice) "Bill Goldberg, a bald-headed man with a tattoo. Who has only lost one time, to a fiercer warrior, Mister Kevin Nash!" (normal voice) "That's pretty good, ain't it--how I worked that in there?"

"First of all...Bobby fell like this--(whoosh!). Dennis fell like that--(whoosh!). I fell like this--(BAM!). Bubba's standing there--he never played baseball, I guess; he lost me in the lights, I dunno--what had happened was he's standing there like that and I went completely through his arms. And he looks down like that and when I hit, and my knee bent completely sideways in a matter other than nature intended, it caused me to whiplash back and the back of my head hit his knee, fortunately knocking me temporarily senseless, and serving as a natural anesthetic to the fact that a bone might be sticking out my leg!"

  • Arguably inverted, as this came from the audience and it was the wrestlers who found it funny. The commissioner of the late Stampede Wrestling asked the audience to tone down on the swearing. At the next show, audiences chanted (at moves they thought impressive) "HOLY BEEP! HOLY BEEP! HOLY BEEP!" The wrestlers found it HILARIOUS.
  • While the Majority of CHIKARA could fit this, one moment fits in this troper's head. A large tag team match breaks down into a baseball game.
    • Only made funnier by the fans whole-hearted participation in the whole thing (they do the wave, for crying out loud!), and Jimmy "Equinox" Olsen and Mike Quackenbush's commentary:

Quackenbush: This never happens during our matches, Jimmy.
Olsen: We're missing out.
Fan in Crowd: We wanna pit-CHER, not a belly it-CHER!
Crowd (chanting) BELLY ITCHER! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) BELLY ITCHER!
Quackenbush: Ohh, they're gettin' him with the "belly itcher" chant!

STEEN: Ever since I have joined forces with Mr. Corino it appears the Ring Of Honor on HDNet commentators, Dave Prazak and "HOG", seem to be hell-bent on talking trash about us!
PRAZAK: Not me!
STEEN: I don't think that's very fair, so you know what? Prazak, Hog, you guys have the night off, well at least you have this match off, go grab a hot dog, grab a beer, grab each other's genitals, whatever you do...
PRAZAK: I'll grab the beer.
[After Corino starts talking to Steen's opponent, Bobby Shields, and Steen sneaks up behind him and knocks him down]
STEEN: [as he hits him] BOOM! Can't believe that worked!
CORINO: I used to beat kids like this up in school every week!
STEEN: Speaking of school beatings, I perfected this very move during my grade school beatings, check it out!
[Steen comes off the ropes, and then stops]
STEEN: [handing the mic to referee Bryce Remsburg] Oh wait, hold this.
[Somersaults and drops a leg on Shields]
CORINO: Ohhhh, ladies and gentlemen--!!!
STEEN: [taking the mic back] Oh my god--!!
CORINO: That--
CORINO: That was orgasmic maybe.
STEEN: [going for the cover] Steen goes for the cover!
[Covers, only gets two]
STEEN: Bad call by the referee, horrible call!
[After Shields catches Steen off-guard and gets in some token offense, Steen comes back and stops him with a powerbomb]
STEEN: [retrieving the mic and glaring down at Shields] That hurt, you asshole!

  • Colt Cabana's just going to slap you.
  • From ROH Death Before Dishonor IV: When Homicide made his entrance and became the final member of the ROH team, CZW fans erupted in a "SIX ON FIVE!" chant (Samoa Joe and Bryan Danielson were in the match, but Dragon chopblocked Joe right out of it and left himself). The ROH side immediately snapped back with "YOU CAN'T COUNT!"
  • From Bash At The Beach 1998: Chavo Guerrero has a hair vs. hair match with his uncle Eddie, and decides before the match he'll wrestle Stevie Ray as a tune-up. Keep in mind Stevie is about twice as big as Chavo. Eddie Guerrero comes down after both Stevie Ray and Chavo have come out, which prompts Chavo to grab a mic and dedicate the match to Eddie. After some goofing off by Chavo, he offers a handshake to Stevie. Stevie accepts......only for Chavo to YELL out in pain, collapse to his knees, and immediately tap out. Bell rings, Stevie wins via submission, and after a couple moments, Chavo grabs the mic and says, "EDDIE! That was for you Eddie! I'm so tired.......I'm exhausted! I guess we're wrestling now, right?" Chavo's performance was hilarious, and even though he lost against Eddie, his reveal that the "tune-up" was a Batman Gambit SOLELY to get under Eddie's skin (it worked) can also qualify this as a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
  • This promo featuring Paul London and Bryan Danielson, where London starts talking about dolphins and their pods...and about a minute in, Danielson abandons the notion of trying not to laugh.
  • From CHIKARA, we have what one YouTube commenter says is the "new most electrifying move in sports entertainment": the Pants on the Ground Elbow.
  • El Generico's promos suck! So says Colt Cabana, who tries to help him cut better ones.

El Generico: Kenny Omega! Chuck Taylor!
Colt Cabana: Good...
El Generico: El Generico numero uno!
Colt Cabana: Ah, geez--
El Generico: Kenny Omega, no bueno!
Colt Cabana: No. Ready...say what I say...(whispers to El Generico)
El Generico: Kenny Omega y Chuck Taylor...(Colt whispers to him again) I want...I-I want to piss in your boots! (more whispering) ...and your ears! (more whispering) I EAT CHILDREN!
Colt Cabana: No! (whispers) I eat your children!
El Generico: Que no comprendo "eat children"...

  • Booker T unintentionally calling Hulk Hogan "nigga".
  • This troper remembers one night on Nitro where Tony Shiavone had warned kids watching at home not to emulate any wrestling moves in their backyard, to which Bobby Heenan quips "Do it in your living room, it's more fun!"
  • We SHIMMER fans know that only women are real wrestlers, but we occasionally let the men do a pre-show comedy match. Here's the Come As You Are Rumble. Highlights include:
    • Delirious emerging from under the ring with a Star Wars-themed pillow and Looney Tunes blanket (apparently Delirious was sleeping under the ring), with the pillow and blanket involved in several spots during the match
    • Claudio Castagnoli coming out in a bright white suit, taking the pillow and blanket and taking a nap in the middle of the ring
    • Austin Aries emerging from the back with toilet paper stuck to his shoe (and after his very hasty elimination, runs right back to the bathroom)
    • Every other participant turning on Brad Bradley, the largest competitor, and in the process managing a Total Party Kill.
      • From Volume 40, the crowd chants at Portia Perez "die, Portia, die".
      • LuFisto invokes Not Listening to Me, Are You? to get a title match with MsChif:

"I hear babies come from Mommy but you like green so much you came from a cabbage"