Crazy Prepared/Quotes

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When you need it, but don't have it, you sing a whole different tune. —Burt Gummer, Tremors 2

Cpt. Lassard: You've all been trained in the latest techniques of law enforcement. Any of you have any special skills I should know about? Tackleberry: I just learned to perform an emergency tracheotomy with a steak knife, sir. —Police Academy 2

Thermos, sandwiches, corn plasters, telephone money, dandruff brush, animal footprint chart, and one triple-thick condom. You never know. —Duane Dibbley, Red Dwarf

Professionals have standards: be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. —The Sniper, Team Fortress 2

For example, there's a spell listed entitled Against every Wild Animal, Aquatic Creature and Robbers. In the event that you are simultaneously attacked by a wild bear, Aquaman and the Hamburglar, this spell will have your back. —The infamous FATAL review

Iron Man: Good shot, Hawkeye. I didn't even know you still had your lead-foil containment arrow. Hawkeye: Never know when you're gonna run into Radioactive Man, Shellhead. —JLA/Avengers

Luckily, Ah say, Luckily, Ah keep mah feathers numbered for just such an occasion. —Foghorn Leghorn

Doc: Hey Sarge, do you have a, quote, "zombie plan," unquote? Sarge: A zombie plan? Of course not! Doc: See? I told you. Sarge: I have thirty-seven different zombie plans! —Red vs. Blue, "Planning to Fail"

The moment their arms spun freely in our air, they were doomed -- for man has earned his right to hold this planet against all comers, by virtue of occasionally producing someone totally batshit insane. —Xkcd, when Don Quixote saves the world from windmill monsters

Art: Does that say "in case of zombies"? Pip: Hey, it'll happen. Be prepared.

"For Next Clue, Insert Original Declaration Of Independence Here" Damn! I only carry a copy with me! —Rick displaying a limit to his crazy preparedness, Rick and Steve

In any event, I always have a backup plan. —Brainiac, Justice League Unlimited

[The spring-loaded decapitation device] was just a random thought I had. What if you had to do battle with your arms cut off? Sure, you'd hemorrhage to death pretty quick, but at least you could take your enemy with you! —Fred, Angel

Rick Jones: Don't look so shocked. I always carry a miniature parachute with me in case I have to jump from an exploding Skrull saucer. Bruce Banner: That's... that's ridiculous. Rick Jones: Why? I needed to, didn't I? —The Incredible Hulk #375

Nijima: "Shall I tell you why I'm number one in my group and you're just a number two?" Berserker: "Go ahead. I'll listen if it makes sense." Nijima: "Because you think of plots within plots. I think of plots within plots within plots!" Kenichi the Mightiest Disciple

Batman: You know what I would have done? I would've thrown a batarang at him, then tied him up! Superman: And what about the missiles? Batman: Oh, I'd have some kind of Bat Missile Defence Gadget... on my belt. Superman: Sure. Batman: It wouldn't be a problem. Superman: Dude, come on! Batman: I would. Superman: You use that utility belt scenario for every situation! Batman: What's wrong with my utility belt? Superman: Oh, nothing, nothing's wrong with it. Just, when you get a, uh, Fly-so-fast-it-reverses-time-itself Gadget on your belt, let me know.

An experienced Adventurer keeps an unpredictable assortment of magic nearby. It helps counter the unpredictable trouble that predictably befalls him. —Adventurers Vault 2 on consumable magic items

It wasn't easy to synthesize, Clark... Took years and cost a fortune. I had both. —Batman explains why he's got Kryptonite arrows, The Dark Knight Returns

The simplest way to plan ahead is merely to be ready for everything. —Pontifex, elder researcher, Magic: The Gathering "Myr Adaptor" flavour text

Usually I can't be surprised, but if I think I will be I wear a metal suit. —"Ask Axe Cop" #38

What, do you think I have a kit to purge evil spirits from a dog? (smirks) Because I do. —Merton J. Dingle, Big Wolf on Campus

Peter: You have a shotgun and silver bullets at home?! Betty Brant: I'm a reporter for the Daily Bugle. I've seen stuff that would freak out Kolchak. Girl's gotta be prepared. —Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man

We remain convinced this is the best defensive posture to adopt in order to minimize casualties when the Great Old Ones return from beyond the stars to eat our brains. —The Concrete Jungle

Readiness is all. —Shakespeare

Yes! I had a sword built into Envy's dress in case of emergency! THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF GUY I AM! —Gideon, Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour

Riff: Torg, why do you have emergency pants? Torg: Don't know, but every hypothetical I've come up with, I'm glad I have them. —Sluggy Freelance, April 8, 2002

Expect the unexpected. —Generally attributed to Heraclitus

Lily: This whole thing stinks, I tells ya! It stinks! Robin: Lily, are you really suggesting that Barney spent six months commuting back and forth to Hoboken to learn a signature cooking style of a restaurant he doesn't even like so he could win a bet he hadn't even made yet? (Beat) Yeah, the whole thing stinks. —How I Met Your Mother, "The Ducky Tie"

Adm. Josh Painter: What's his plan? Jack Ryan: His plan? Adm. Painter: Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan. And senior captains don't start something this dangerous without having thought the matter through. —The Hunt for Red October, discussing Capt. Marko Ramius' plan to defect

Be prepared, be prepared, this lesson must be shared Be prepared, be prepared, be prepared Be prepared, be prepared, and unless you've got a spare You've got one life so handle it with care! —Hoodwinked

It is at times like this that I wish I were one of those adventurers who have pucharsed the entire list of available mundane equipment, "just in case". —Miko Miyazaki, The Order of the Stick

The Doctor: [The weapons] are useless, Brigadier. The Brigadier: Not this time, Doctor. [Shows him different bullets] Armor piercing, solid core with Teflon coating. Go through a Dalek. UNIT's been very busy, Doctor. We also got high-explosive rounds for Yetis and very efficient armour-piercing rounds for Robots. And we even got gold-tipped bullets for you-know-what. The Doctor: No silver? 'The Brigadier:Silver bullets? The Doctor: Well, you never know. The Brigadier: Quartermaster Sergeant! Silver bullets, have we any? —Doctor Who