The Ditz/Quotes

L: Oh, it's nothing. Matsuda is being stupid again.
Light: Well, that is his specialty.

—Death Note

Marten: Aw, well Raven's nice, but... I think she's like, a savant who hasn't found out what her one preternatural talent is, y'know?
Tai: Is the amount of talent proportional to the amount of idiocy the savant otherwise displays? 'Cuz if so, she's gonna turn on the Weather Channel one day and spontaneously fix global warming.

—Questionable Content

"I think nothing, my lord."

—Ophelia, Hamlet

"Aren't you happy, Flonne? We finally found somebody dumber than you!"

—Laharl, Disgaea

You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.

—Edward Flaherty^[who?]

"So everyone is talking about "old" Hollywood, which I think is basically like regular Hollywood, except it's wrinkly and smells like mothballs and metamucil. The best way to get this look is to have your grandma sit on your clothes for awhile and then you can wear them!"

—Tiffany Thongbiscuit^[who?], on the "Old Hollywood" look."

"Vain and stupid. Girl power!"

—The Nostalgia Chick, on Posh Spice in Spice World.

"That King, although noone denies
"His heart was of abnormal size,
"Yet he'd have acted otherwise
"If he'd have been acuter."

—Don Alhambra, The Gondoliers

"You can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up, keep you on your toes"

—Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

—Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons

"Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck..."

—Ralph Wiggum (while playing "Duck, Duck, Goose" with the furniture), The Simpsons

"When he grows up, I want to be like me!"

—Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons

"I can taste it with my sniff sniff!"

—Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons

"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

—Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons

"She was expelled from the National Union of Bimbos for being too dim."

—Alex, regarding Sally Smedley, Drop the Dead Donkey

"I like swords."

—Fighter, 8-Bit Theater

"Don't mind him. He was dropped on his head at birth and infected with a happy virus during childhood."

—Tokyo Mew Mew in a Nutshell

"With these stool wings, I'll fly to the banana!"

—Johnny Bravo

Lucky Bob: I spy, something that begins with the letter "B".
Cho-Cho: Blinking lights?
Lucky Bob: Nope.
Cho-Cho: Big moon outside window?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: Black darkness of deep outer space?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: A bagel?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: A blitz?
Lucky Bob: No.
Caption: 55 HOURS LATER
Cho-Cho: A bupka?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: Big Fat Flying Baby?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: A Bob who is lucky?
Lucky Bob: Uh... no.
Cho-Cho: Bursting blood vessels in the astronauts' necks?
Astronauts: TELL HER ALREADY!!
Sammy Melman: WHAT DO YOU SPY THAT BEGINS WITH A "B"?!!
Lucky Bob: Chocolate!

—Histeria!

"If I had one dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar."

—Squidward Tentacles, SpongeBob SquarePants

"Yes!"^[context?]

—Fred Fredburger, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

"And now it's time for Ask Dr. Stupid!"

—The Ren and Stimpy Show

"Shut up Eccles! Shut up Eccles! Shut up Eccles! Oh, that's me!"

—Eccles, The Goon Show

(The Serpentine has been drained and filled with concrete)
Seagoon: How did you get that lump on your head?
Eccles: I just dived in the Serpentine!
Seagoon: Didn't you know it was filled with solid concrete?
Eccles: No, but I know now. In any case, I wouldn't dare dive in a pool with water in it.
Seagoon: Why not?
Eccles: Can't swim!

—The Goon Show

Frat Alien: My dad paid for this hole and this hole is named after my dad!
Master Shake: Maybe that's why it's called Ass!
Meatwad: Is it really called Ass?
Shake: I don't know, I'm shooting my mouth off!

—Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am

Eccles: Land ahead!
[Drawn-out sound of seagoing prison crashing up onto the shore]
Eccles: I shoulda said that sooner.

—The Goon Show

[a truck full of explosives is rolling down a hill towards the campe, while also being broadcast on the tv]
Zangief: Quick! Change the channel!

—Street Fighter: The Movie

Zim: Um, is it supposed to be stupid?
Purple: It's not stupid, it's advaaaaaaaaanced.

—Invader Zim, concerning GIR

Caboose: Last time I was shot, I got a Purple Heart. Yeah, uh, I hope this time, I get a Purple Lung. You see eventually I, I hope to build an entire Purple Person. And we will be best friends.
Tucker: Maybe you should ask for a Purple Brain.
Caboose: You're just jealous, 'cause you have no friends!

—Red vs. Blue

Brain: Pinky, your complete inability to grasp the sublime is deeply sublime in and of itself.
Pinky: Oh, Brain, I love it when you say things about me that I don't understand. Poit.

—Pinky and The Brain

One/Zero: Suzaku, listen! It's me!
Suzaku: No, it is not! Because I'm me! And that makes you not me!
One/Zero: What the f***?

—Code MENT

Chocola: Chocola's all for curry! Leave dinner to Chocola!
Maple: Chocola? Making dinner...? Do you have any cooking skills?
Cinnamon: They're tragic. I don't even remember Chocola ever stepping foot inside the kitchen...?
Azuki: Wait, Chocola can barely read children's books! She wouldn't be able to read the recipe!
Chocola: It's alright, Chocola recently remembered the cooking song they always sing on TV!
Coconut: Didn't I already explain to you that that song was about croquettes? Like, three times.

—Nekopara Vol. 0

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