Has Two Thumbs And

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
Bob Kelso. He added a funny voice to keep it fresh.

Let's say somebody is talking about something you have no interest in. Now, you could say, "yeah, Whatever", but that lacks a certain ... flair. Fortunately, there is a better alternative:

Step 1: Pronounce the phrase, "What has two thumbs and doesn't care?"
Step 2: Hold up both hands at chest level, fingers curled and thumbs out, with the thumbs pointing toward yourself.
Step 3: (optional) "This guy!"

Naturally, the expression may be easily modified to express other things.

Examples of Has Two Thumbs And include:

Advertising

Comic Books

  • A Sid The Sexist strip in Viz from back in the 1990s had "What's got two thumbs, speaks French and likes bler jobs?" (The answer, of course, was Moi, and the speaker was injured by the recipient of this chat up line.)

Film

  • In Year One: "Who has two thumbs and wants another hot oil rub?"
  • In Insomnia: "Who has two thumbs and loves blowjobs?"
  • In The Limey, Nicky Katt's character tells the "loves blowjobs" variety.
  • In Maui's song "You're Welcome", from Disney's Moana:

What has two thumbs that pulled up the sky
When you were waddling yea high?
This guy!

Live Action TV

  • Bob Kelso from Scrubs has employed this a number of times.
  • Once used mockingly by Jim in The Office after being noticeably irritated by Todd Packer's use of this.

Jim: "Who has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer?"

  • That '70s Show: In the first episode of season 2, "Garage Sale", Hyde bakes a batch of special brownies, prompting Kelso to say "You know what's got two thumbs and really likes brownies?" (points thumbs at himself) This guy!"
  • 30 Rock: "Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!"
  • A Castle outtake involved Nathan Fillion ad-libbing the following:

Castle: "What has two thumbs and a date with a prostitute? This guy!"

Newspaper Comics

  • In the March 13th 2012 Dilbert strip, Dilbert reads about the possibilities of there being billions of versions of the earth in millions of universes and wonders "..if there's a version of me out there who loves his job.". In the next panel labeled Meanwhile on XPQ-75... a three armed woman approaches a three armed Dilbert.

3 Armed Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a shoulder massage?
3 Armed Dilbert: This guy!

Professional Wrestling

  • Rob Van Dam implies this.

Stand Up Comedy

  • One Stephen Lynch routine parodies the old days of vaudeville, with David Josefsberg.

David: Stephen...
Stephen: Yes David...
David: Who has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?
Stephen: I don't know David, who has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?
David: This guy!

Video Games

Pit: Who has two thumbs and loves hot springs? EVERYONE WITH TWO THUMBS!

Web Comics

"What has two thumbs and is like a tool shed?" "This guy."
"You're a tool shed. What does that have to do with the girl?"
"It is where all the hoes are at."

Web Original

  • The Literal Video Version of "Billie Jean" has Who has two thumbs and likes BJ?/ Me!/ I like Billie Jean!/ (That's what I thought BJ means!).
  • After announcing himself the winner of a contest he created, Josh Ramsay of Marianas Trench then declared, "Hey, what has two thumbs and just won the contest? This guy!"

Western Animation