The Critic (animation)/Funny
- Eleanor is depressed, so Franklin goes to |Wilson for advice. However, "Wilson" is just a scarecrow with a frog perched on its shoulder, so Franklin takes its advice to mean that he should convince his wife to "Rivet, rivet, rivet." Cut to Eleanor high on a construction site riveting into a girder:
Eleanor: Franklin, this just isn't working out. |
- Later that episode:
Franklin: Oh, Wilson, my wife is happy again! |
- Jay even closes the episode with, "Goodnight, Critic fans. And a special goodnight to those of you just tuning in for Home Improvement."
- When Eleanor has a meeting about her new book, the publisher compares it favorably to another author: Dr. Seduce and his book, Horton Hears His Neighbors In Bed.
Franklin: (reading it) Oh goodie! It's a pop-up book! |
- Jay's nightmare of being attacked by his ever-growing dog, which starts off as a parody of Jurassic Park.
- Let us not forget that the reason everyone was at the debutante ball was, as Franklin said, "To see those nitro-burning funny cars! Vroom vroom!"
- Jay's student film L'artiste est Morte.
- From the episode "Miserable", a talking bookstand in Jay's likeness is used to knock out Jay's kidnapper, but then...:
Jay Bookstand: Buy my book! Buy my book! Buy my boo- (Jeremy shoots its head) |
Jay: That wasn't a clip, that was the entire movie. |
- Apocolypse WOW.
- VOTE FOR DUKE. VOTE FOR DUKE. VOTE FOR DUKE.
- ...VOTE FOR DUKE!!!
Jay: {annoyed) Get that off my show. |
- Duke's kaledoscope vision.
- In the episode "Sherman, Woman and Child"
Alice: (Introducing herself and Penny to Jay) I'm Alice Tompkins and this is my daughter Penny. |
- Duke Phillips shows off his political "skills" after Jay quits as his speechwriter.
Duke: I'm Duke Phillips, and from now on I'm speaking my own mind. First, I'll tell you what I'm really gonna do as president. I'll run this country like I run my company. I'm gonna raid the pension fund, dump chemicals in the ocean, and sell our best assets to the Japanese. |
- Jay listening to his answering machine:
Gene Siskel: Hey, Jay! It's Gene Siskel. I've decided I'd like YOU to be my partner. Let me know if you're game so I can tell Rex Reed to get lost. |
- One of the first Couch Gags:
Gene Shalit: (phoning Jay in the opening credits) Hi, this is Gene Shalit. I'm having a bad hair day. If you don't believe me, look out the window! |
- In a scene from The Bodyguard 2:
(Kevin Costner is simultaneously carrying The Three Tenors in his arms, trying to keep his balance while he carries them out the back door of a theatre) |
- A scene from Jurassic Park 2: Revenge of the Raptors (the actual sequel was released three years after the episode):
Richard Attenborough: You may have us, but you'll never get off the island! |
- Any time Orson Welles shows up, in particular:
Orson Welles: Hello, I'm Orson Welles. What follows is a terrifying journey into the world of magic, mystery - |
- As well as:
Orson Welles: And remember, there is no fish stick like Mrs. Pell's. |
- Later, his ghost appears to Margo:
Orson Welles: And I too have gone to a better place. A place filled with Mrs. Pell's fishsticks. (eats them) Yes, oh, yes! They're even better when you're dead! |
- And who can forget green pea-ness?
Orson Welles: Rosebud. Yes, Rosebud Frozen Peas. Full of country goodness and green pea-ness ... Wait, that's terrible! I quit! Just a handful for the road. (Takes a handful and pops a few in his mouth.) Oh, what luck! There's a french fry stuck in my beard! (Eats) Oh yeah. |
Orson Welles: A rich, full-bodied wine sensibly priced at a dollar a jug. And for a little magic, I will make this jug disappear. (glug, glug, glug) |
- From the episode "Eyes on the Prize":
Jay: Hello, I'm Jay Sherman. This morning on English For Cab Drivers, I was going to teach you how to say "He was already dead when I hit him." |
- Later on, at the Pulitzer Prize ceremony, the host mentions the following:
Jimmy Breslin: Tonight, we will honor the greatest writers in America with a modest 9x12 certificate and a check for three thousand dollars. Three thousand dollars?! Stephen King makes that for writing "Boo" on a cocktail napkin! |
- In "Sherman, Woman and Child," we see a flashback of a 14-year-old Jay getting on a bus to summer camp and his parents telling him to have fun, until ...
Franklin: Sweetie, I think that was the bus to Attica prison. |
- The topper is that he's dressed in very old-timey garb (as in "Little Boy Blue" outfit) when he goes, complete with blonde curls peeking out of the hat.
- Jay reviews Barney: The Motion Picture, starring one of America's best actors:
Marlon Brando: This is so humiliating. You know I had to lose a hundred pounds to play a dinosaur? Can’t even see through the eyeholes on this thing. (crashes into a wall) Whoa! (and falls over, grunting) |
- "Cookie Puss, I will eat your soul!"
- When Jeremy played a US President.
19th Century Terrorist: Who are you? |
- Franklin the Sailor Man. Supposedly, this is one of his more accurate memories.
- All the scenes with Dudley Moore.
- Jay and Marty play Escape from the Big Apple
Marty: Hurry up Dad, you've only got ten seconds to get to Long Island! |
- Milton Berle's appearance in the final episode.
- Penguins can't fly!
Franklin: A penguin! (Grabs bottle of Johnny Swagger brand alcohol) And he's been drinking! Wait a minute ... Penguins can't fly! PENGUINS CAN'T FLY! (Plane goes down) |
- From that same episode, Margo is listening to the black box from the plane, and hears the following exchange:
Franklin: Help! Our plane's going down, and our pilot's a penguin! |
- Duke promised to pay $100 to anyone Jay couldn't make laugh within a month ... and a legion shows up at Duke's building to collect, including Jay's parents.
Jay: Mom? Dad? I never made you laugh? |
- When Duke breaks down crying on Coming Attractions.
Male TV Announcer: (talking fast-paced) Viewer Disclaimer: Duke Phillips is not himself. He has been mixing NyQuil and DayQuil. |
- When Doris lies and convinces Duke that she was the Southern Belle from his costume ball:
Jay: Duke, this is crazy. She's not from the South. |
- In "Eyes on the Prize," Duke tells Jay that he's starting to repeat himself and shows a three-split screen video as proof:
Jay: (section 1, from 1988) Rain Man (section 2, from 1992) A Few Good Men (section 3, from 1993) The Firm (all together) is the latest stinker from Tom Cruise. He doesn't act anymore, he's on ... Cruise Control! AAAAAAHAHAHA! AAAAAAHA! I JUST ... I JUST! MADE THAT! UP! |
- Madonna's appearance on Humphrey The Hippo a few months after her appearance on David Letterman.
Humphrey: Hey, kids! Let's welcome our special guest Madonna! |
- During the episode where Franklin and Eleanor are presumed dead, Jay, the beneficiary of their estate, goes on a tour of the various Sherman-owned industries. They're all various evil industries, including a cigarette company that markets to children. When the Corrupt Corporate Executive of the factory finds out he's being shut down:
Executive: But Mr. Sherman, think of the children. If they don't have cigarettes, what'll they do after they have sex? |
- Elenor: (After Franklin transforms into The Mask and behaves erratically) Oh dear. This is just what he did at Nixon's funeral.
- Jay shows a clip of his "legendary" interview with Cher. Nothing but fifteen seconds of bleeped out curse words.
Cher: (as Jay looks at her disconcerted) You no good {{[[[Sound Effect Bleep]] Censor Bleep}}]! {{[[[Sound Effect Bleep]] Censor Bleep}}] you, you piece of {{[[[Sound Effect Bleep]] Censor Bleep}}]! Kiss my white feminine toned and tattooed {{[[[Sound Effect Bleep]] Censor Bleep x4}}]! |
- Anytime Jay's stomach talks.
- In "Marathon Mensch," two movie employers in Hollywood celebrate over The New York Chronicle reporting Jay missing and feared dead while running in the New York marathon.
Female Movie Executive: Woo hoo! Sherman’s gone! |
- The third Webisode had a genuinely funny bit of Pikachu being outed by Jay, and when his sexy makeup lady walks out on him, Pikachu returns and hits on Jay.
- Duke's soft-serve ice cream maker.
- From the episode "Dukerella" we have Jay and Alice dressed up as Homer and Marge Simpson for Duke's costume ball.
Alice: Jay, where'd you park? |
- In "Dial M For Mother", after getting test audience feedback, Jay is apparently worse than Hitler.
Duke Phillips: No, not worse, just less warm and cuddly. |
- Jay reviews Rabbi, P.I, starring Ahnold. The movie is about a cop who goes undercover as a rabbi.
Jay: Because I love you people, I won't force you to watch the musical number. Well, maybe just a little. |
- After Prince Charles is thrown out of a preschool:
Prince Charles: I'll have your heads for this! |
- Soft Copy reported that two TV movies were made about the split of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. This scene is from the FOX version.
"Booty booty booty! YEEEEAAAAH BOY-EEEEEE!" |