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Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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{{quote|''"Sorry, we're all outta happy endings today! We only have ones that end with [[No-Holds-Barred Beatdown|horrible beatings]]."''|'''Adell''', ''[[Disgaea]] 2''}}
{{quote|''"Sorry, we're all outta happy endings today! We only have ones that end with [[No-Holds-Barred Beatdown|horrible beatings]]."''
|'''Adell''', ''[[Disgaea]] 2''}}


{{quote|''"People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then [[Firefly|Mal]] will shoot someone. [[Player Punch|Someone we like]]. [[And Your Little Dog, Too|And their puppy.]]"''|'''[[Joss Whedon]]'''}}
{{quote|''"People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then [[Firefly|Mal]] will shoot someone. [[Player Punch|Someone we like]]. [[And Your Little Dog, Too|And their puppy.]]"''
|'''[[Joss Whedon]]'''}}


{{quote|''"...He loved Big Brother."''|Closing words, ''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four|1984]]''}}
{{quote|''"...He loved Big Brother."''
|Closing words, ''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four|1984]]''}}


{{quote|''"Life's a bitch. And then you die."'' |'''Don Carpenter'''}}
{{quote|''"Life's a bitch. And then you die."''
|'''Don Carpenter'''}}


{{quote|''"I was kind of hoping for a happy ending."''|'''"Sarcastic" Hawke''', near the end of the game right after everything starts blowing up, ''[[Dragon Age II]]''}}
{{quote|''"I was kind of hoping for a happy ending."''
|'''"Sarcastic" Hawke''', near the end of the game right after everything starts blowing up, ''[[Dragon Age II]]''}}


{{quote|"[[The Empire Strikes Back|Empire]] ''had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, [[Luke, I Am Your Father|finds out Vader's his father]], [[Human Popsicle|Han gets frozen]] and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a'' down ''note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings."''|'''Dante Hicks''', ''[[Clerks]]''}}
{{quote|"[[The Empire Strikes Back|Empire]] ''had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, [[Luke, I Am Your Father|finds out Vader's his father]], [[Human Popsicle|Han gets frozen]] and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a'' down ''note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings."''
|'''Dante Hicks''', ''[[Clerks]]''}}


{{quote|'''Tom Servo:''' So evil won, grampa?
{{quote|'''Tom Servo:''' So evil won, grampa?
'''Mike:''' Yes, Billy, even your puny soul is doomed.|''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000]]''}}
'''Mike:''' Yes, Billy, even your puny soul is doomed.
|''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000]]''}}


{{quote|''"[[Satan|He's]] coming."''|'''Sam Winchester''', ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]'', "Lucifer Rising" (Season 4 Finale)}}
{{quote|''"[[Satan|He's]] coming."''
|'''Sam Winchester''', ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]'', "Lucifer Rising" (Season 4 Finale)}}


{{quote|When you reach the part where the heartaches come
{{quote|''When you reach the part where the heartaches come
The hero would be me
''The hero would be me
But heroes often fail
''But heroes often fail
And you won't read that book again
''And you won't read that book again
Because the ending's just too hard to take|'''Gordon Lightfoot''', ''If You Could Read My Mind''}}
''Because the ending's just too hard to take
|'''Gordon Lightfoot''', ''If You Could Read My Mind''}}


{{quote|''"And taking a look at the long range forecast, continued [[End of an Age|snow, darkness,]] [[Apocalypse How|and extreme cold.]] This is [[Kent Brockman News|Howard Handupme]]. Goodnight. {{[[[Beat Panel]] Beat.}}] Goodbye."''|''[[Dinosaurs]]''}}
{{quote|''"And taking a look at the long range forecast, continued [[End of an Age|snow, darkness,]] [[Apocalypse How|and extreme cold.]] This is [[Kent Brockman News|Howard Handupme]]. Goodnight. {{[[[Beat Panel]] Beat.}}] Goodbye."''
|''[[Dinosaurs]]''}}


{{quote|''"What did you expect from an opera? A happy ending?"''|'''[[Bugs Bunny]]''', ''[[What's Opera, Doc?]]?''}}
{{quote|''"What did you expect from an opera? A happy ending?"''
|'''[[Bugs Bunny]]''', ''[[What's Opera, Doc?]]?''}}


{{quote|''"Zis ending stinks!"''|'''Fifi La Fume''', ''[[Tiny Toon Adventures]]'', "Out of Odor"}}
{{quote|''"Zis ending stinks!"''
|'''Fifi La Fume''', ''[[Tiny Toon Adventures]]'', "Out of Odor"}}


{{quote|''"A grand opera cannot have a happy ending -- unless you consider it a happy ending when all the characters are too dead to sing any longer. Some do."''|'''Katharine Dayton''', "Gypsies, Nobles, Peasants, Etc."}}
{{quote|''"A grand opera cannot have a happy ending -- unless you consider it a happy ending when all the characters are too dead to sing any longer. Some do."''
|'''Katharine Dayton''', "Gypsies, Nobles, Peasants, Etc."}}


{{quote|''"[[Ironic Echo|We have all the time in the world....]]"''|'''[[James Bond]]''', ''[[On Her Majesty's Secret Service]]''}}
{{quote|''"[[Ironic Echo|We have all the time in the world....]]"''
|'''[[James Bond]]''', ''[[On Her Majesty's Secret Service]]''}}


{{quote|''"We cannot let this be... THE END."''|''[[Rocket Attack USA]]''}}
{{quote|''"We cannot let this be... THE END."''
|''[[Rocket Attack USA]]''}}


{{quote|''"How disgusting"''|'''Asuka Langly Sorhyu''', {{spoiler|murmuring the last line in}} ''[[End of Evangelion]]''}}
{{quote|''"How disgusting"''
|'''Asuka Langly Sorhyu''', {{spoiler|murmuring the last line in}} ''[[End of Evangelion]]''}}


{{quote|''"I went through all that torture just to be given the middle-finger salute?!"''|'''[[The Angry Video Game Nerd]]''', reviewing ''Kid Kool'' and getting [[Multiple Endings|the worst ending]].}}
{{quote|''"I went through all that torture just to be given the middle-finger salute?!"''
|'''[[The Angry Video Game Nerd]]''', reviewing ''Kid Kool'' and getting [[Multiple Endings|the worst ending]].}}


{{quote|IN MEMORY OF A PATRIOT WHO SAVED THE WORLD
{{quote|IN MEMORY OF A PATRIOT WHO SAVED THE WORLD
192X-1964
192X-1964|'''The nameless tombstone''' of {{spoiler|[[Hero Antagonist|The Boss]]}}, ''[[Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater]]''}}
|'''The nameless tombstone''' of {{spoiler|[[Hero Antagonist|The Boss]]}}, ''[[Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater]]''}}


{{quote|""No, you have to choose. But in any case, all the mass relays get blown up...""|"Starchild", "Mass Effect 3"}}
{{quote|""No, you have to choose. But in any case, all the mass relays get blown up...""
|"Starchild", "Mass Effect 3"}}


{{quote|The Antediluvians destroy the world in their struggle, and drain all life to fuel their quests for godhood. All of humanity dies. All the animals die. All the plants die. Everything in the sea dies. [[After the End|Only the characters are left, the last dwellers on a planet as barren as the moon.]] They have nothing left to feed on, except each other, and then- [[And I Must Scream|a torpor that never ends]], or [[Driven to Suicide|the mercy of the sun.]] For extra irony, let the death-struggles of the Antediluvians propel the characters to the ancient site of Eden, now blasted and dead like the rest of the world. What do the characters do? When all hope has failed, when they have lost everything, when there is nothing left to achieve- what then? [[Tear Jerker|What do the characters choose as their final actions before they too meet their end?]]|"And The Rest Is Silence" ending of ''[[Vampire: The Masquerade]]: Gehenna''}}
{{quote|The Antediluvians destroy the world in their struggle, and drain all life to fuel their quests for godhood. All of humanity dies. All the animals die. All the plants die. Everything in the sea dies. [[After the End|Only the characters are left, the last dwellers on a planet as barren as the moon.]] They have nothing left to feed on, except each other, and then- [[And I Must Scream|a torpor that never ends]], or [[Driven to Suicide|the mercy of the sun.]] For extra irony, let the death-struggles of the Antediluvians propel the characters to the ancient site of Eden, now blasted and dead like the rest of the world. What do the characters do? When all hope has failed, when they have lost everything, when there is nothing left to achieve- what then? [[Tear Jerker|What do the characters choose as their final actions before they too meet their end?]]
|"And The Rest Is Silence" ending of ''[[Vampire: The Masquerade]]: Gehenna''}}

{{quote|''Nobody wins the showcase finale today because they both overbid! But they did play a good game!''
|''[[The Price Is Right]]''}}


{{reflist}}
{{reflist}}

Latest revision as of 15:52, 16 April 2019


"Sorry, we're all outta happy endings today! We only have ones that end with horrible beatings."

Adell, Disgaea 2

"People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy."

"...He loved Big Brother."

—Closing words, 1984

"Life's a bitch. And then you die."

Don Carpenter

"I was kind of hoping for a happy ending."

"Sarcastic" Hawke, near the end of the game right after everything starts blowing up, Dragon Age II

"Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings."

Dante Hicks, Clerks

Tom Servo: So evil won, grampa?
Mike: Yes, Billy, even your puny soul is doomed.

"He's coming."

Sam Winchester, Supernatural, "Lucifer Rising" (Season 4 Finale)

When you reach the part where the heartaches come
The hero would be me
But heroes often fail
And you won't read that book again
Because the ending's just too hard to take

Gordon Lightfoot, If You Could Read My Mind

"And taking a look at the long range forecast, continued snow, darkness, and extreme cold. This is Howard Handupme. Goodnight. {{[[[Beat Panel]] Beat.}}] Goodbye."

"What did you expect from an opera? A happy ending?"

"Zis ending stinks!"

Fifi La Fume, Tiny Toon Adventures, "Out of Odor"

"A grand opera cannot have a happy ending -- unless you consider it a happy ending when all the characters are too dead to sing any longer. Some do."

Katharine Dayton, "Gypsies, Nobles, Peasants, Etc."

"We cannot let this be... THE END."

"How disgusting"

Asuka Langly Sorhyu, murmuring the last line in End of Evangelion

"I went through all that torture just to be given the middle-finger salute?!"

The Angry Video Game Nerd, reviewing Kid Kool and getting the worst ending.

IN MEMORY OF A PATRIOT WHO SAVED THE WORLD
192X-1964

The nameless tombstone of The Boss, Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

""No, you have to choose. But in any case, all the mass relays get blown up...""

—"Starchild", "Mass Effect 3"

The Antediluvians destroy the world in their struggle, and drain all life to fuel their quests for godhood. All of humanity dies. All the animals die. All the plants die. Everything in the sea dies. Only the characters are left, the last dwellers on a planet as barren as the moon. They have nothing left to feed on, except each other, and then- a torpor that never ends, or the mercy of the sun. For extra irony, let the death-struggles of the Antediluvians propel the characters to the ancient site of Eden, now blasted and dead like the rest of the world. What do the characters do? When all hope has failed, when they have lost everything, when there is nothing left to achieve- what then? What do the characters choose as their final actions before they too meet their end?

—"And The Rest Is Silence" ending of Vampire: The Masquerade: Gehenna

Nobody wins the showcase finale today because they both overbid! But they did play a good game!