Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
The Power of Christ impales you!

A delightfully schlock-filled B-movie from Canada, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is pretty much exactly what it sounds like it would be about - Jesus Christ has returned, and he's fighting vampires.

Okay, a little more explanation, because we care.

For reasons unknown to anyone in the Catholic Church, there have been a rash of attacks on lesbians by vampires, and to make matters worse, they're now immune to sunlight (the vampires, not the lesbians). There can be only one solution - to get Jesus from his hiding place, and take on the vampires, including the lesbians they've turned into more vampires. Along the way, he'll have to enlist the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo, "Apostle to the Apostles" Mary Magnum, and... learn to do a snazzy musical number?

Tropes used in Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter include:
  • Anti-Villain / Harmless Villain: the thrift store clerk is working with the vampires but is fairly harmless and for the most part fairly lazy about his villany.
  • Christianity Is Catholic - When Jesus shows up to help Christians fight vampires, guess which denomination he shows up among? That said, it is one swingin' Catholic Church.
  • Clown Car Base - How many atheists fit into a single car?
    • Lampshade Hanging applied: When the second wave attacks, Jesus throws his hands up in confusion.
  • Coconut Superpowers - The makers of this low-budget film had a problem: Vampire films necessitate a lot of nighttime scenes, which means nighttime shooting, which means a lot of expensive lights, power concerns, fire hazards, etc. How to get around this problem? Make the movie about vampires gaining the ability to walk in daylight. Suddenly, a budget constraint becomes a story element!
  • Deus Ex Machina - Obviously. Reaches its logical conclusion when Jesus is off fighting vampires, Dr. Praetorius is watching it on TV, and suddenly, Jesus burst into the room...

Praetorius: How can you be here? I thought you were at the junkyard!