Cannibal! The Musical

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

The sky is blue, and all the leaves are green
My heart's as full as a baked potato
I think you know exactly what I mean
When I say it's a shpadoinkle day!

Cannibal! The Musical (also known as Alferd Packer: The Musical) is a Black Comedy musical, aptly named and done by the boys behind South Park in their usual good taste. The story is all about legendary Colorado cannibal Alferd Packer, played by Trey Parker himself, backed by his crew of Humphrey, played by Stone, and other strange characters in his crew. Very strange Hilarity Ensues.

The movie was made on a shoestring budget and it shows-- Parker and Stone caved from pressure from friends to actually make a fake trailer they made for an assignment in college into a real movie. The film itself was made in 1993 but released as a film in 1996 by Troma. Early South Park humor is evident. A lot of it parodies the musical Oklahoma!.

The full movie can be watched for free online at the official site here, as well as the version with the DVD Commentary track. All the songs are downloadable for free as well.


Tropes used in Cannibal! The Musical include:

Swan: We can name him Tom or we can name him George!...We can name him Bob or we can name him Beowulf!

  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: The gentle-natured protagonist's horse dumps him for the more macho, more aggressive trappers.
  • Angry Mob Song: Hang the Bastard, meant to sound as much as possible like a cheery old-school-style excuse-to-dance number.
  • Bilingual Bonus:
    • Some of the lines spoken by the Japanese Indians translate as "This movie sucks" and "You're a stupid person".
    • According to the (drunken) commentary, the hand signals Humphrey (Matt Stone) uses when first meeting the not-Indians is, supposedly, sign language for "Jesus Christ is Dead".
  • Black Comedy
  • Berserk Button: What Liane is to Packer
  • Bloody Hilarious
  • The Cameo: Of the unlikeliest sort: influential avant-garde filmmaker Stan Brakhage appears briefly as Noon's father. Brakhage was one of Parker and Stone's film professors in college.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: The Japanese Indian chief.
  • Comically Missing the Point: The trappers, when told to stop singing the "trapper song". However both sides end up missing the point when it degenerates into an argument over what key the song should be in.

Noon: Oh stop!
Humphrey: That's sick.
Frenchy: I agree, [hits one of the other trappers] Nutter was singing in the wrong key!
Nutter: No I wasn't. It was Loutzenheiser. I was singing in E♭ minor.
Frenchy: The song's in F♯ major!
Bell: I think they're the same thing. I mean, E♭ is the relative minor of F♯.
Frenchy: No, it isn't. The relative minor is 3 half-tones down from the major, not up!
Noon: No, it's 3 down. Like A is the relative minor of C major.
Loutzenheiser: But isn't A♯ in C major?
Bell: Wait, are you singing mixolydian scales, or something?
Frenchy: A# is tonic to C major. It's the 6th!
Humphrey: No it isn't!
Swan: Well, it'd be like a raised 13th if anything.

Ralph: [thrusts a pointing finger at the group] The Rocky Mountains. I gotta warn ya! You're doomed! Doomed! Doomed! [lowers the finger] You're doomed! [walks away] Doomed. [the man walks around the group. The miners follow his walk with their eyes] Turn back, while you still can. You're doomed. You're all doomed.
Packer, Swan: [Beat] Thank you.

Bell: Could you tell me what tribe this is?
Chief: Hmmmmm... We are... Indians!
Bell: ...Yes, I see that, but... what Indians?
Chief: You don't think we are... Indians?
Bell: No, no, no, I just um...
Chief: We have... teepees.
Bell: Right. I see, but...
Chief: Look at all these teepees ...we have. Because... we are...Indians!
Packer: Yeah, they have teepees.

Humphrey: You guys! I just thought of something too.
Packer: What?
Humphrey: Okay, now, you remember when Swan was building that snowman? Well, how the hell did he make that tapping sound with his feet?
Noon: You just now thought of that?
Humphrey: Well it's pretty fucking weird, isn't it?!

Miller: (Looking at the food) You son of a bitch Humphrey.
Humphrey: Aww, come on. Ya didn't even try it!
(He tries it)
Miller: You son of a bitch Humphrey.

Packer: How does it feel to be riding my horse?
Frenchy: Come off it, Packer! Everyone in this town's ridden your horse!

  • Real Trailer, Fake Movie: This is how it began. Trey made a fake trailer for film class and was told to make the movie by his teacher.
  • So Bad It's Good: Invoked--terrible acting, sets that most middle school productions would be ashamed of, and all on purpose. It works.
  • Talent Double: Spoofed in Packer's dream sequence, where no attempt whatsoever is made to cover up the obvious ballet double.
  • That Reminds Me of a Song: Parodied. Swan's infamous "Snowman" song, which he sings at the worst times. The second time, though, one of the group loses it and just shoots him halfway through it.
  • This Is Gonna Suck: Humphrey's exact words when they're about to cross the river.
  • Those Two Guys: Those two trappers who form Frenchy's posse.
  • Throw It In:
    • "Shpadoinkle" was at first just a silly placeholder word in the song, but Trey and Matt ended up liking it so much they kept it in.
    • The sheriff says "You Know What They Say about sunrise?" then pauses and walks off without making his point. The actor was apparently drunk and forgot his lines, but Trey Parker thought it was funnier than the actual line.
  • Villain Song: "The Trapper Song".
  • Waxing Lyrical:

Alferd Packer: Hey, do you guys think it's true, that she's a trapper horse?
Frank Miller: A horse is a horse.
James Humphrey: Of course.
Alferd Packer: Of course.