Captain Obvious/Quotes: Difference between revisions
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(I'm surprised that we didn't have a Dan Quayle quote on the page. We do now.) |
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|''The Three Voices'' by [[Lewis Carroll]] }}
{{quote|If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.
|Attributed to [[Dan Quayle]], quoted in ''Esquire'', August 1992}}
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Revision as of 21:18, 6 April 2024
Ginger: You mean you never actually flew the plane? |
- Mega Man, Mega Man! Come in! There's these big yellow beams that kill you if you- —Roll and Egoraptor arguing in Quick Man's Stage on an episode of Sequelitis.
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Inspector Lestrade (seeing a midget in Lord Blackwood's coffin): That's not Blackwood! —Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes movie
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John: Fun? There's a woman lying dead! |
"That's air going into my lungs." —Colin Mochrie, Whose Line Is It Anyway?
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Don Calfari: But I did not give the orders to wipe out the Spaldoni family. That is an order that I did not give. —The Middleman, "The Pilot Episode Sanction"
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([thousands of Confederacy starfighters stream past Yoda's window]) |
That's a lot of fish! —The 1998 American Godzilla movie
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Magma is not a water source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded.
(of course, with the Dorfs it's... not always obvious) |
I am murdered. —Spencer Perceval on his own assassination.
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Joseph was rushed to the hospital where doctors discovered the 19 bullet-holes in his body. The attending physician later testified that Joseph was "probably in severe pain." Dr. Obvious likely went on to say that the red stuff pouring out of Joseph's body was "probably blood." —Cracked.com 7 Fatal Injuries (That People Somehow Survived)
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I knew it! That sword... It's your weapon, isn't it?! —Might Guy, Naruto
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Life is very important to Americans. —Bob Dole
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One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It's a nice day, or You're very tall, or Oh dear, you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn't know about. |
Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field. —John Madden
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Inspector Clay is dead. Murdered... and somebody is responsible. — Detective, Plan 9 from Outer Space
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Grey Warden: Thanks for stating the completely obvious, by the way. |
Toxic waste is poisonous. —Game tutorial tip, Lego Batman
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Use your weapons! They are designed to do damage! |
All toasters toast toast! —Mario, Hotel Mario[1]
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Father Ted: We need something that will keep them away from the house something to distract them...but what? |
Aragorn: Not for ourselves. But we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's Eye fixed upon us. Keep him blind to all else that moves. |
Ron Weasley: You can't break an Unbreakable Vow. |
It's a trap! —(many characters in Star Wars, but most famously) Admiral Ackbar, Return of the Jedi
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The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. —attributed to Salvador Dali
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Leela: Ow, fire hot! |
In the silent movie, there's no talking. —Natasha Bedingfield, 'Silent Movie'
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It seems you have to defeat this one to win! |
- Sarge, we need to get Donut air-lifted outta here. —Sarge and Simmons on Donut, who was just blown up.
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Fry: Well, this is the end. There was so many things I wanted to say to you. —Futurama, Into the Wild Green Yonder
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Goon: That's a dead dog. |
And so he brought forth a carrot. And said; 'Behold this! For it is a carrot.' And all about him knew that it was so. For it was orange. With a green top. —Rowan Atkinson, "Amazing Jesus" sketch
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In Economics, everything that is not obvious, is usually bullcrap. —Mário Henrique Simonsen, Brazilian economist (original: Em Economia, tudo o que não é óbvio, normalmente é besteira. This phrase may extend to other fields.)
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And he speaks; 'I don't think those jewels belong to you.' (Beat) I salute you, World's Greatest Detective! |
You are huge! That means you have huge guts! —Doom Marine, Doom Comics
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Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good! —Doom Marine, Doom Comics
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Now I'm in a completely different place! —Doom Marine, you guessed it, Doom Comics
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Animal Man: You must be Robot-Man. |
Darth Baras: RAAAAAAGH! I cannot break him! —Star Wars: The Old Republic, as Darth Baras loses his patience.
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My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it! —Lenny when Homer hits him with pudding.
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Hey, he just stopped at that house over there! Hey, I just stated the obvious! Oh look, a chair! —Tom, Eddsworld
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Pitying his obvious distress, —The Three Voices by Lewis Carroll
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If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure. —Attributed to Dan Quayle, quoted in Esquire, August 1992
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- Back to Captain Obvious
- ↑ To all of you who just went, "Toasters toast bread!" yes, that is true. They can also re-toast toast.