Mind Screw/Quotes

"What. The. Fuck."

—Desmond Miles, Assassin's Creed II

"The whole movie has strange use of Stock Footage, strange use of voiceovers, it begins like a documentary depicting cultural deviance, soon it becomes a horror movie and an experimental art film, an auto-bio, a bondage movie and then it ends with a sex change! What the fuck kind of twisted piece of crap is this?!"

—James Rolfe's (of The Angry Video Game Nerd fame) Spike-TV review of Glen or Glenda

Space Ghost: Now, woodpile, did you or did you not masqueraded as eels and shocked Zorak with that wrench? Answer me! Now, what about these beans?
Moltar: Those must've fallen out of my hair.
Space Ghost: ....

Moltar: Well, you're just making all this s*** up! ...Oh, what? You're the only one that gets to make c*** up?

—Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Flipmode

"You have been chosen because you are unknown to the enemy, and you all have a special skill. Professor Hawking, John Leslie, Phil Neville, the Wu Tang Clan, Usher, the Sugar Puffs Monster, and Daniel Day-Lewis: welcome...to Operation Mind Fuck!."

—Frankie Boyle, Mock the Week: "Unlikely Lines To Hear In An Action Movie"

"I have a theory that I've blundered across the best definition of a Paul Magrs novel (although this one is co-Jeremy Hoad). It's when you get to the end of the book and hear yourself cry -- 'So what's with the mermaid, then?'"

—Naomi Claydon reviews the Doctor Who Eighth Doctor Adventures novel The Blue Angel for Outpost Gallifrey.

Wearing a raincoat is flying around in a yellow rubber airplane
Made out of a raincoat, yes
But when you think of that, you hurt your mind

And you'll need your mind for later on

—They Might Be Giants, "Wearing a Raincoat"

"I don't understand this, and I understand everything!"

—The Doctor, Doctor Who

"So, you have come this far and still you understand nothing."

—Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, Kingdom Hearts, Actually Xehanort's Heartless. Actually amnesiac fusion of Master Xehanort and Terra.

"You met me at a very strange time in my life."

—The last lines of Fight Club

Tor Anderson: "It takes crazy to know crazy!"

Alan Wake: "That's the sanest thing I've heard in a while."

—Alan Wake

Ringo: Hey, that's my car!
George: How do you know it's your car?
Ringo: Well, I'd know it anywhere.
George: What does it look like?
Ringo: It's red with yellow wheels...

George drives by in a blue car with orange wheels*

Ringo: I mean, blue with orange wheels...

George drives by again in a yellow car with red wheels*

George: It's all in the mind.

—Yellow Submarine

"How do you compress... time? I'm getting dizzy..."

—Tidus, to Ultimecia, Dissidia Final Fantasy

My name is Alex Drake, and frankly, your guess is as good as mine.

—After three series, the Opening Narration of Ashes to Ashes gives up trying to explain the plot.

The starmaker says it ain't so bad
The dreammaker's gonna make you mad
The spaceman says everybody look down

It's all in your mind

—The Killers "Spaceman"

"When you see it, you'll shit bricks."

—Anonymous

"There is no final conclusion to The Prisoner. We were fortunate enough to do something as audacious as that, because people do want the words 'The End' put up there."

—Patrick McGoohan on the last episode of The Prisoner

The below statement is false.

The above statement is true.

—Anonymous

Mario: If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the enclosed instruction book.
Luigi: What instruction book?
Mario: If you need instructions on how to get the enclosed instruction book, check out the enclosed instruction book.
Luigi: WTF?
Mario: If you need instructions on how to get the instructions on how to get the enclosed instruction book, check out the instructions on how to get the enclosed instruction book.

Luigi's brain fizzles out*

The first time I reached this boss, I instantly lost all my lives cause I had no idea wtf was going on. I fainted afterwards.

—Youtube commenter on Hellsinker's Final Boss.

"Strap in, kids. It’s going to get fucking weird..."

—The Dark Id on Drakengard.

"Holy shit, Disney! You've inserted your giant magical cock into my ear and FUCKED MY MIND!"

—The Nostalgia Chick on Pocahontas

Further down this page: the land of analogies of truly hallucinogenic incomprehensibility. So far I've got one person comparing taxation to three contractors painting a house, and another to Megan Fox having sex with everyone in the world, and I'm honestly not even sure which side they're trying to argue on.

—mickeyten about the comments on this Cracked article

"I've had acid trips more consistent than this."

—A YouTube commenter, on the first episode of Excel Saga