What Goes On

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
"The potatoes! Of all the people I forgot to invite to the wedding, I forget to bring the potatoes!"
—Ness, making no sense. Par for the course.

What Goes On is a Super Smash Bros. fanfiction by The Great Chicken Miasma. It is unfortunately on hiatus as of summer 2011, having not been updated since early 2009. The story started almost immediately after the launch of Brawl however, so it had a fairly good run. It can be found here.

The story begins with Marth trying to create a stage using the Stage Builder mode. Wanting to play, Ness, Kirby, Pikachu, Lucas, Popo and Nana nag Marth to let them have their turn. Throwing his controller at them in frustration, Marth accidentally kills the Smashers' beloved Wii, Schlemiel. Realizing right away that they can't tell anyone about this untimely death, the group decides that it's up to them (sans Marth, who abandons the scene) to bury Schlemiel. No sooner have they buried him than Ness decides that they must try to bring Schlemiel back from the dead. A ritual is hastily done, and something strange happens to Lucas. The next day he's vomiting black goo, speaking gibberish, and has renamed himself Ryuukash. That's the least weird thing that happens afterwards.

Fairly quickly, it becomes apparent that nobody has noticed --or cares-- that Schlemiel is gone. The story shifts focus to the friendship between Ness and Lucas, which is strained by Lucas' Stalker with a Crush tendencies, which creep Ness out. Basically, it's the story of a bunch of loonies living with an even larger group of loonies who find a bunch of random stuff happening to their clique. This includes, but is not limited to: repeated attacks from Porky Minch, multiple contests held by Master Hand and Crazy Hand, and as mentioned before, Ness trying to get some breathing space from Lucas.

It's somewhat a crack fic, so avoid if it's not your style. And the authoress clearly loves the Ness/Lucas pairing, so if that's not your thing either, stay away. But it has a good number of genuinely funny moments. Definitely worth a read-through.

The same author also made Better Off Alone, so check it out as well.

Tropes used in What Goes On include:
  • Accidental Kiss: Where Ness and Lucas' issues start.
  • Alternative Character Interpretation: Sandbag. Inanimate object you hit to get items, or smack-talking Jerkass who insults you to make you hit it harder?
  • Author Appeal: This girl loves her Ness and Lucas.
  • Berserk Button: By all that is holy, DON'T MESS UP LUCAS' HAIR.
  • Brainwashed and Crazy: Everyone except Lucas gets a case of this due to being forced to listen to Porky's pirate radio station.
  • Break the Cutie: Lucas does unspeakable things to Toon Link when he feels like he's cramping him and Ness' style. That doesn't stop TL from joining the group eventually though.
  • Chekhov's Gun: Ness would have died by Nesskiller's if it weren't for the evil cookies he got in the previous story.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: Lucas and later Ness during Subspace Emissary week.
  • Cloudcuckooland: YES.
  • Crack Fic: While it has a plot, everyone constantly forgets about the broken Wii and is preoccupied by more random stuff.
  • Dead Fic: The author is currently too preoccupied by another story called He Said, She Said (a fic where Lucas is a girl) to work on this. The story has not updated since 2009.
  • Disaster Dominoes: Chapter 5. Just Chapter 5 full stop. And all because Lucas was choking on a donut.
  • Divide by Zero: Done a few times to disastrous effect.
  • Driven to Suicide: Ness almost does this when everyone but Lucas (not that it helps) has become Porky loving zombies.
  • Ear Worm: Porky tortures everyone in the Smash Mansion by planting the Pig King statue on the front lawn and having it blare his theme constantly. Needless to say, it gets on everyone's nerves.
  • Evil Tastes Good: The Dark Side has evil cookies.
  • Five-Man Band
  • Gratuitous Spanish: The Ultimate Chimera, aka Señor Shnugglebutt Fluffykins, speaks random Spanish.
  • Ho Yay: Between Ness and Lucas, but it's one-sided toward Ness. Red also acts this way toward Lucas (who ironically does not return the feelings).
  • Reports of My Death Were Greatly Exaggerated: Happens to Ness in one chapter.
  • Only Sane Man: Nana and Toon Link share this role within the main group. In the Smashers at large, it seems to be Lucario.
  • Running Gag: Popo repeatedly suggesting they do a ritual to revive Schlemiel.... even though they tried it in the fist chapter with Lucas getting possessed.
  • Shout-Out: Several, mainly to whatever Internet meme seems to be most popular at the time the chapter was written.
  • Take That: Usually affectionate.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Popo
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Ness calls everyone out on this after they do nothing to attempt to save him from Rayquaza.
  • Who Wants to Live Forever?: Porky doesn't seem to have a problem with it, but everyone else can clearly see that it's not a great state to be in. And the only reason he bugs them is because he's bored, a major complication of this trope.
  • Yiddish as a Second Language: They named their Wii Schlemiel. That tells you something.
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