Glorious Shotgun Princess

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On the one side, we have Mass Effect, with its grand space opera and omnicidal cthulhuan cuttlefish. On the other side, we have Exalted, with its superheroics and Kung-Fu Fighting.

Judging from the car, I think he had another career planned out as the Kool Aid Man. —Joker, on Garrus' aircar

What would happen (asked Gregg Landsman of Nobody Dies fame/infamy) if a titular Exaltation from the latter wound up in Commander Shepard of the former?

And Hilarity Ensued.

Can be read here, along with pages upon pages of speculation, off-topic ranting, and hilarious omake scenes. Just check your sanity at the door.

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Tropes used in Glorious Shotgun Princess include:

• A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Inverted. EDI locks up the Cerberus scientists who were about to remove her Morality Chip and forces them to watch work safety videos.

You took a murderous AI, plugged it into parts from a more murderous AI, and made it non violent, then tried to make it violent anyway, and succeeded at failing.

• Beyond the Impossible: Everything Shepard does. Some of the other cast members also qualify from time to time.
• Brick Joke: The crew has a discussion about how Cerberus projects tend to wind up killing all the scientists and taking over the base. Then they arrive at the base the Normandy is kept at...
• Car Cushion: Joker catches a falling Liara and Miranda (after they fell out of his car to start with...)
• Car Fu: Shepard's fight with Vasir starts off this way.
• Chekhov's Honey Badger^[context?]
• Cool Car: Garrus' aircar. Aka the Claw Hammer.
• Fluffy the Terrible: In Mass Effect canon, he was Legion, Terminal of the Geth. Here, he's...Wuffles the Wonder Geth.
• Dangerously Genre Savvy: Kasumi.

Kasumi: And 'kill all the Solars' is more of a 'all hundred of us get together' sort of plan.

• Heel Face Turn: Vasir
• High Altitude Interrogation: Exalt!Shepard's method of choice for turning Nassana to her side.
• Hollywood Hacking:

"Vasir Spectre. The cybersecurity suite of your personal vehicle requires updating."

• Holographic Disguise: How everyone's favourite Geth would infiltrate Azure, except Geth do not infiltrate.
• I Got Better: Shepard doesn't quite die at the end of ME1 as in canon...
• Impossible Thief: Kasumi Goto is a Sidereal. She can steal your train of thought.

"I need you to distract Donovan Hock while I steal his house."

• Informed Obscenity / Unusual Euphemism: Claw Hammer. (also a Shout-Out )
• Magic Versus Science: Miranda insists that Shepard's newly-gained superpowers can be rationally explained.

Miranda: No, I've figured it out. It's just that it would take more eezo being jammed into you than the drive core of an Asari Dreadnought.

• Martial Medic: How does Shepard cure Thane's Kepral syndrome? She punches it out of him.
  • And Kasumi cures Joker's Vrolik's syndrome by shooting him. Produces many exclamations of 'what'.
• Meaningful Name: Chekov.
• Most Common Superpower: As an Exalt's Appearance score increases, their...assets are enhanced, as Shepard finds out. Lampshaded by Joker.

Joker: I've always wanted Power Girl as a drinking buddy.

• Noodle Implements: Kasumi's miniature Krogan statue.
• Punching Gag: Shepard's attempts to get off Alchera invariably end with her destroying the ship she planned to use to escape, occasionally with Clothing Damage ensuing (as while an Exalt is nigh-indestructible, her clothing, not so much).
  • Also, everyone has needs.
  • Poor Wuffles tends to get used for target practice by people who freak out upon seeing a Geth.
• Shout-Out: Joker's maneuvering in the aircar chase is not unlike the "tunnel scene" from Men in Black.
  • "One of my magic powers is a bullshit detector. It goes ding when there's crap."
  • What would happen if Cerberus made a taco cart?
  • Wuffles, the Wonder Geth references Wuffles, the Wonder Fish from Nobody Dies (whose own naming was a shout out to Legion's in Mass Effect 2)
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Vasir tries to give one to Shepard. It doesn't work as intended.
• The Immodest Orgasm: Shepard.
• Weak but Skilled: Vasir doesn't have the pure power of Exalted Shepard, but she has been a Spectre longer than Shepard has even been alive, with the experience and skill to match.
• Xanatos Gambit: The Illusive Man fully expects Shepard to steal Normandy, unshackle EDI and subvert the crew.