In "Paradise Lost", our heroes investigate Felix Faust's home, where Flash accidentally sets off a death-beam scepter, and Batman chastises him for messing with the relics. Quick cut to Superman, Wonder Woman, and J'onn immediately putting some relics back.
Flash and J'onn pick their players for a game of "Brawlin' Bots" ("The Ties That Bind"):
During an Electric Torture sequence in the episode 'Question Everything', The Question resists interrogation by only revealing random useless facts, such as the name for those little plastic caps at the end of a shoelace. He then added on "Their true purpose is sinister."
Kalibak: I'm going to grind you into paste! Lobo: Awful brave talk for a dead man. Kalibak: I'm not dead yet. Lobo: You're right. My watch is about ten seconds fast.
[not ten seconds later, but close enough] Lobo: Say it! [[[Beat]]] Kalibak: ...Uncle. Lobo: I can't hear you! Hawkgirl: He's beaten. Put. The car. Down. Lobo: (tosses it aside) I was gonna.
In "The Brave and the Bold", Flash and Green Lantern are talking in front of a hot dog stand. GL admonishes Flash for wasting time. Flash's response?
"Relax, it's just a little snack." [draws out two heaping armfulls of hot dogs].
Even more hilarious is the fact that it's rather accurate, considering the ridiculous number of calories Flash would have to eat daily in order to maintain Super Speed.
AND he stuck GL with the bill!
Red Tornado's one line in "This Little Piggy"... "Suuuh-WEEEEEE!"
Two from "Panic in the Sky". Batman tries to destroy Lex's robot with an exploding batarang. Lex catches it in midair, and deadpans "That... was uncalled for." And then hits him with a tool bench.
Later, Lex asks a defeated Amanda Waller if she really thought she could beat him all by herself.
As Batman is falling from his plane, completely deadpan. ("Dark Heart")
"Batman to all points. I could use some air support. Since I can't fly. At all." [just seconds before he hits the ground] "Now would be good."
Vandal Savage's casual reply when asked what he's doing in "Maid of Honor" Pt. 2:
Vandal Savage:[while counting off each with his fingers] Destroying the Justice League, building a rail gun, assuming total dominion over the Earth.
A few more, from "Hereafter":
Superman: You're insane. Vandal Savage: True, but that doesn't mean I'm not good company. Say, you wanna come over to my house? Superman:[stares at him] Vandal Savage: Like you've got something better to do.
Vandal Savage: Anyway, I've got issues - what with my destroying the Earth and all.
At the end of "The Savage Time" part 3:
Superman: Batman! It's really you! [bear hug] Batman:[deadpan] Am I missing something?
"Twilight" Parts 1 and 2 feature some of the best Batman one-liners around. The producers even joke about this fact during the commentary because they were just on a roll with his character during those episodes. For instance, there's a moment where Bruce and Diana first see the city where the "gods" live and this happens:
Or when he and Wonder Woman have to leap into the Boom Tube to help Orion and Superman fight Darkseid:
Batman: Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me real hard!
"The Secret Society" also has some Badass Batman moments, in a scene where he confronts one of his old foes:
Clayface: You didn't think I'd come here without reinforcements, did you? Batman: Wish I'd thought of that. [Justice League breaks through the wall]Oh, Wait!, I did.
As well as this line:
Clayface:[after his masquerade as the Flash is blown] What gave me away? Batman: You overplayed your part, "yo".
And just before that, Batman calmly tazes "Flash" and explains, "The real Flash would have been able to dodge that." He's one step ahead of Hagen the whole time.
"The Enemy Below" featured one of the best off-screen Batman intimidations ever:
Deadshot:[looks Wonder Woman up and down] ...Unless of course you can make it worth my while. Batman:[grabs him] I'll take it from here. [drags Deadshot away] Deadshot:You can't scare me, Batman.
Batman: Let me give you one piece of advice... [says something to him as the camera pulls away]
What did he say? According to Word of God it's "I know where you live, Floyd.
Pretty much all of "Injustice for All", but there's one part that always has this troper in stitches:
Superman:[jacks Copperhead up against the wall] Copperhead... When are you gonna get some sense and tell me where Luthor is? Copperhead: Ooh. This must be the part where I get SO scared, I spill my guts. Superman: I'm warning you... Copperhead: What're you gonna do, Boy Scout? Short my sheets? Give me a wedgie? [later, as Copperhead is taken back to his cell] Superman:[frustrated] How does Batman do it?
Copperhead, poor poor Copperhead. He seemed so confident in "Injustice for All". When we see him later? Not so much.
Copperhead: It was judgement day! And we got sent to the bad place! THE BAD PLACE!!!
To be fair to poor Copperhead, the entire adult population of Earth was suddenly transported to a bizarre dimension with no warning. Not that this makes his delivery any less funny.
"Aha! As I suspected: thirty-two flavors!" (The Question, "Grudge Match")
The Flash: (actually Lex Luthor in Flash's body)" Well, if nothing else, I can find out the Flash's secret identity. [takes off mask]]' ...I have no idea who this is."
Damnit, "The Great Brain Robbery" IS one episode-length CMOF. Especially because it cements the Superfriends-ish flavor that the final season had for most of its duration, though in a much better way than Hanna-Barbera used to do. The icing on the cake has to go to Lex Luthor, as the Flash, inadvertently discovering Green Lantern's weakness. I'm not telling this one, it must be seen to be believed. Here.
One more from the same episode, this one from Bizarro, questioning Flash in Luthor's body:
Bizarro: "Ever since you plug into monkey's head, you act perfectly sane and rational. Am you Bizarro mommy?"
Hawkgirl, after a fair bit of expository dialogue between Luthor/Brainiac and Superman: "Less talking, more hitting!" ("Divided We Fall")
Batman storming a Starbucks to order coffee. ("Only a Dream")
In an attempt to stay awake, he turns the radio on to some pop song and punches the Batmobile's window out for some air. Could he have rolled the window down to save glass? Yes, but not BATMAN!
"Diana is a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend. She's... standing Right Behind Me, isn't she?" ("The Once and Future Thing, Part 1")
"But don't let that stop you. Keep digging."
"Flash, stop heckling the supervillain!" ("The Brave and the Bold")
Speaking of the Flash, this line from "The Brave and the Bold":
[To Green Lantern, after describing an encounter with Solovar] "Hey, we've both got a Martian's phone number on our speed-dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here."
Imagine Batman playing good cop to his future self.
Green Lantern: Everything's relative.
Superman: "Now, this boy Kara likes so much...does he have a name?" Cue distressed looks on Green Lantern and Green Arrow's faces. Just in case you don't know, said boy is Brainiac 5. ("Far From Home")
The episode "Flash and Substance" is terrific, not only does it feature the aforementioned Flash and Batman, but also Orion, who is even more Comically Serious than Batman (which is saying something). And the scene where Flash interrogates the Trickster was probably the funniest thing ever on the show. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, too.
Flash: James, you're off your meds, aren't you? Trickster: Better off without 'em. Take 'em if I start feeling down. Flash: You know that's not how the medicine works. You're not well! Trickster: I'm fine. You wanna throw some darts? Flash: No, listen, James, you're wearing the suit again. Trickster: I am? [Looks down at costume] Well what do you know? Flash: Here's the deal, buddy. Tell me where those guys went, and I'll come see you in the hospital. We'll play darts! The soft kind. Trickster: Okay, they're gonna ambush you at the Flash Museum. Flash: See? That's all we needed! [to Batman and Orion] Come on, we better get over there. Orion: What about your enemy? Flash: Oh, right. Dude, as soon as you finish your drink, turn yourself in. Trickster:[raises mug] Got me again, Flash!
The Trickster is made of CMOF. Like his conversation with the other three Flash villains Rogues in that episode.
Mirror Master: Here we are, the hardest men in town and we all have something in common. Trickster:Bilateral symmetry?
The following one-sided conversation between Batman and Orion in the same episode:
Orion: I can't believe you let that buffoon manipulate you. You'd never see me at one of these museum openings. [Batman gives him a "you just volunteered" stare] Orion: ...It's not black tie, is it?
The continuation of the "hardest men in town" conversation above:
Flash: Mirror Master! Mirror Master: You're as quick as ever! Flash: Yeah? Well, you're... You're not really all there!
Mirror Master: Oooh! Nice try! If you had another minute, you'd probably think of a decent comeback!
This dialogue:
Linda Park: When we come back, I'll try to get with him... Get to him... For an interview... Are we off? Geez. He's a total babe. Like the entire track team at once. I can't believe you're not into him, Marla. Marla:Okay... Now you're off.[Linda slaps a paper on her face in embarrassment]
The Flash, stuck on a flying, giant, spinning boomerang, to Captain Boomerang, who was watching him on it: "I swear, when I get out of this I'm gonna find you and hurl all over you!"
On the run from a returning Amazo, Lex Luthor is escorted by Supergirl and Steel to his secret lab, hidden inside... a barbershop. ("The Return")
Most of Skeets' lines in "The Greatest Story Never Told", but especially when Booster Gold starts ragging on himself and even Skeets' constant stream of encouraging sycophancy finally gives out: "I got nothin'."
"Wild Cards", where we get the Joker as his own twisted version of Shipper on Deck:
Joker: Is it just me, or is there something going on between those two? Will Green Lantern ever admit to his feelings? Will Hawkgirl ever stop sublimating her passions with that big honkin' mace? Will True Love conquer all?
[raises his detonator]
Joker: Not on my show!
Also, the Vegas casinos are emptied...except for one old woman playing the slots;
Joker: Ma'am? Ma'am? Aren't you worried? Old woman: About what? This thing's bound to pay off sooner or later. Joker: Man, I love this town!
Hal Jordan is in less than half of one episode ("The Once and Future Thing, Part II"), but still manages to get a moment in:
John Stewart: Enid Clinton, we've got-- [The past is altered mid-sentence, resulting in Hal Jordan being the Green Lantern] Hal Jordan: --business with your husband. [to everyone else]What? Hal Jordan. Another time shift. I'm up to speed. Carry on.
Terry: O-kay, I'm starting to get a migraine.
And then when Hal Jordan changed back to John Stewart:
Static: Make up your mind!
A good chunk of the episode "The Once and Future Thing" could probably qualify. There's also another bit between Batman and Old Man Bruce where present-day Bats decides to go out and find information the more direct way.
Terry: It's not going to work, you don't know your way around here. A lot of things have changed. Batman: Are criminals still superstitious and cowardly? Old Bruce: Yup. Batman: Good enough for me.
There's also when Batman meets his older self.
Terry: Batman meet Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne meet Batman, or have you two met? Both Bruce Waynes: Not now!
This troper likes "Clash" not only for the awesome fight scenes but a couple of hilarious moments from Mr. Comically Serious himself, Batman:
Batman: You were a little hard on the Boy Scout, don't you think? Superman: I thought I was the Boy Scout. Batman: I did too, 'til I met Captain Marvel. Superman: Why are you--why is everyone defending him? Batman: We like him. He's... sunny.
As well as this:
Batman: What did these guys want anyway? Superman: To take over the world. Or rob banks. I forget.
At the beginning of "Double Date" you have two mooks waiting outside their boss's mansion, and this bit of dialogue comes up:
Cecil: But how come when I make the scones, they don't got that good flavor like yours, Tony? Tony:[smacks Cecil's head] Do I have to tell you again how you gotta add the orange zest, Cecil? You gonna make me give you the recipe again, huh? You're killing me here, Cecil! Killing me!
Warhawk, seeing Green Lantern at the end of the "The Once and Future Thing, Part I": "Dad?"
"Panic in the Sky": when Lex Luthor takes control of the JL's satellite and fires its main gun at the Earth, the founding Leaguers agree to turn themselves in to the US government as a show of faith. Batman, however, decides to follow a separate lead.
Soldier: Where's Batman? Flash: Running late. The Batmobile, it lost a wheel. The Joker got away. [[[Beat]]] That's what I heard.
Vigilante is ripe with Crowning Moments period (which should come to no surprise considering who voices him) but one of his funniest moments is in "Hunter's Moon" when he nabs the Thanagarian's ship in an attempt to rescue Vixen and Shayera.
Vigilante:Tingbustedhorsethievin'aliencontrolpanelwhichcan'tnobodyworkproper![flies beneath Vixen, who is free-falling] I'M COMIN', DARLIN'! YEEEEEEE-HAW!
Circe trying to ham it up with a big villain rant. Zatanna isn't having any of it. ("This Little Piggy")
Circe: Insolent trickster! You dare to strike... [hit with a chair] You dare to strike... [hit with a table]You dare to strike...[is covered with a tablecloth, yanks it off] QUIT IT! Oh no...[slammed by a piano]
In "Patriot Act", several of the non-superpowered League members are fighting a supersoldier (the mutated Gen. Wade Eiling) that keeps demanding that Superman come to fight him. Green Arrow, who has been requesting backup from the Watchtower throughout the whole fight, receives word that reinforcements are on the way. This leads to the following:
Green Arrow:[to Eiling] Well you wanted Superman? Now you got- [two people teleport in] ...the Crimson Avenger and my ex-sidekick. Speedy:[having just teleported in] Ex-partner!
Green Arrow: Speedy, we gotta' do this now?
After Eiling effortlessly swats the Avenger and starts advancing:
Eiling: You spoiled, rich little twerp! Green Arrow:[while pelting him with arrows, including one stolen from Speedy's quiver] I think he means me. Speedy:[likewise, deadpan] Oh. For a second, I was all mad.
One of the final lines of all JLU, when Flash overhears Martian Manhunter on the phone: (you guessed it, "Destroyer")
J'onn: I should be back in time for dinner. I love you too. Flash: These are the end times...
Still in "Destroyer", Toyman gets surrounded by Parademons. He shoots at them with Nerf gun darts, and as the shots harmlessly bounce off, the Parademons stare in confusion... until they all explode.
Or this moment in the batcave in "Starcrossed", pt. 2.
Especially funny is that Flash's dumb smile doen't go away after Alfred's sarcasm. He just seemed so genuinely proud of himself for figuring out what that dinosaur was.
This moment at the end of "Kid Stuff", wherein every hero is turned back into an adult. Even Etrigan. In Wonder Woman's arms.
When Green Lantern is captured and brought before Despero in "Hearts and Minds":
GL: Despero, I presume. Whole Crowd: DESPERO IS ALL! GL: With a backup group, no less.
From "The Greatest Story Never Told", apparently Booster Gold watched too much Star Trek:
Booster Gold: Energize! Watchtower Tech: Doofus.
The scene in "The Ties That Bind" where Flash first convinces Barda and Mr. Miracle to let him help them is this an a Crowning Moment of Funny. It's especially adorable how he punctuates it all with "Friends?"
Giving Barda the flower was the icing on top.
"Robots! I love smashing robots!"
In "The Terror Beyond," after Aquaman brings him to Fate's tower, Inza presents Solomon Grundy with some treats. He looks ready to eat, but actually hesitates out of politeness.
Inza: It's okay. Take as many as you want. (Grundy starts pigging out)
Afterwards, Doctor Fate arrives:
Doctor Fate: I am Doctor Fate. Grundy:(swallowing) Girl gave Grundy the cookies!
In "Task Force X," after Flagg's team has gotten through Watchtower security.
Deadshot: I thought he was gonna wet himself when you mentioned the Martian. He couldn't let us through fast enough. Plastique: That was nothin'. I almost lost it when this bonehead set off the metal detector. Captain Boomerang: 75 cents is 75 cents. I'm supposed to throw away money?
