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Brewdening Love: Difference between revisions
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The story begins with Joan walking into her English class and suddenly noticing [[Gary Stu|a boy]] named [[Twilight (Literature)|Edward]] (Edwerd, Edwad, Ward, etc.) whom she thinks looks like a god ([[Exact Words|not god God because I luv god and thats blamsphemi, so fuc off sinars]]). After giving a [[Costume Porn|long description of herself]], she tries to flirt with him but he ignores her. Because he's incredibly sex-ah, she forgives him and decides that, because he is so hot, she wants to be his boyfriend. Yes, [[Ho Yay|boyfriend]].
Edward continues to ignore her and she continues to [[Stalker With a Crush|stalk]] [[Stalking Is Love|him]], going so far as to chase him into the school car lot with him screaming at her to go away. While she contemplates the, gasp, horrid thought that maybe he doesn't like her, [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|a bus appears out of nowhere and almost hits her]]. To the readers' dismay and [[
But trouble is on the horizon as it is revealed that Edward is a [[Rouge Angles of Satin|VAMPTRE]]! As a devout [[Rouge Angles of Satin|Chrisnt]], Joan is worried. And that bit of potential conflict is shoved in the closet when Edward says that he is a "christina vampite" and therefore okay for her to date. Yeah.
The gripping epic follows their twu wuv as Erin encounters the rest of the Cullens, the problem vamtpie Jhams, [[Critical Research Failure|and searches the entire country of]] [[Canada, Eh?|Canada]] [[You Fail Geography Forever|in twenty minutes]]. ''Damn'', that Volvo is fast.
Ousted off of fanfiction.net for its spelling, grammar, blatant homophobia and anti-Semitism, and a whole bunch of other atrocities, the fanfic can now be found [http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/ here].
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** Erin claims she's literally black because she's a "maury". It's not clear whether she's attempting to say "moor" or "Maori".
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]]: Chapter 37 was almost entirely centered on [[Ship Sinking|killing off]] the [[Ho Yay|Brian x Hugo]] fanbase. Also, the revenge chapters, which literally put the critics into the story so they can be killed.
* [[Canada, Eh?]]: The [[Church of Happyology|cultists]] who try to sacrifice Jacob for a satanic ritual live in Canada. [[Pyromaniac|Brian]] also moved from there. It's worth mentioning that Erin seems to think it's a city, not a country:
{{quote| "Yesterday, " said brian. I moved hear frome Canada. Canada is a batter citey then Forks [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe|thou]]." He told us. }}
* [[Comedic Sociopathy]]: When the Cullens are deciding how to deal with the traitorous Emmett back in Chapter 9, MC/Esme walks in with a batch of cookies.
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* [[Fan Nickname]]: Mr. Smith was nicknamed Hugo [[Actor Allusion|after Hugo Weaving's role]] in ''[[The Matrix]]'' as Agent Smith. Erin doesn't seem to address this.
* [[Female Misogynist]]: Author Erin Locklea is this.
* [[Fingore]]: In ''[[Spin
* [[The Fundamentalist]]: Joan. [[Unfortunate Implications|She's supposed to be an "ideal Christian".]]
* [[Green
* [[Hate Fic]]: The [[Spin
* [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?]]: "I luv u, but no homo k?"
* [[Kill It With Fire]]: [[Pyromaniac|Brian's main strategy]].
* [[Love Dodecahedron]]: In case anyone would like to keep track, [http://i38.tinypic.com/dwx7nq.jpg this is what it currently looks like.]
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* [[MST]]: The TwilightSucks forums have [http://www.tsdcv3.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=twilightfics&action=display&thread=1519&page=1 a whole archive of them]. The author herself wrote two [[Revenge Fic]] chapters against the snarkers after reading them, casting them as evil, devil-worshiping vampires.
* [[Murder the Hypotenuse]]: Joan wants to kill Jenny so she can have Edward all to herself. [[Sarcasm Mode|What a great friend Joan is.]]
* [[Neon Sign Hideout]]: What were the "[[The Mafia|Volturi Mafia]]" [[What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made On Drugs?|smoking]] when they used the seven wonders of the world to decorate their hideout?
* [[No Sex Allowed]]: Even though Joan clearly wants it.
* [[Overly Long Name]]: What kind of self-respecting [[Mary Sue]] would Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith be if she didn't have one of these?
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* [[Revenge Fic]]: Four chapters of ''Brewdening Love'' attack actual internet users (two for the snarkers and two for trolls impersonating her friends), chapter 37 attacks Brian x Hugo shippers, and ''Edwards Secret'' attacks gays in general.
* [[Rouge Angles of Satin]]: The whole fic is full of this. Even the title is spelled wrong!
* [[Self
* [[Shallow Love Interest]]: Why do Joan and Edward like each other again, other than the whole "hawt" thing?
* [[Spin
** ''Twilight World'': A crossover with the Bible, [[Artistic License Religion|except with Twilight characters instead of the real characters]]. Formerly called ''Twilight Bible''.
** ''Bellas Baby'': A one-shot in which Bella is pregnant with James' demon child and has to get an abortion from [[Harry Potter (Literature)|Professor McGonagall]]. Was [[Lost Forever]], can now be found [http://brewdeninglove.freeiz.com/favorites.htm here.]
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** ''Edwards Secert'': A rightly loathed one-shot where Edward and Jacob [[You Fail Biology Forever|become gay for each other]] and a [[Roaring Rampage of Revenge]] is launched against Jacob when he refuses to [[Fingore|cut off one of his own fingers]] as a means of repentance.
* [[Stalker With a Crush]]: Joan follows Edward around when she first decides that he's "sex-ah". It gets so bad that he has to flee into a parking lot while she's chasing him, which is when she finally gets the idea that he may not like her.
* [[Troll Fic]]: [[
* [[Would Hit a Girl]]: In chapter 28, [[Memetic Badass|Brian]] [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|punches Joan]], quote: "Because I am the FBI and I can."
*** A line which has since become an [[Ascended Meme]].
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