Brewdening Love: Difference between revisions

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
Content added Content deleted
prefix>Import Bot
(Import from TV Tropes TVT:Fanfic.BrewdeningLove 2012-07-01, editor history TVTH:Fanfic.BrewdeningLove, CC-BY-SA 3.0 Unported license)
 
m (Mass update links)
Line 9: Line 9:
The story begins with Joan walking into her English class and suddenly noticing [[Gary Stu|a boy]] named [[Twilight (Literature)|Edward]] (Edwerd, Edwad, Ward, etc.) whom she thinks looks like a god ([[Exact Words|not god God because I luv god and thats blamsphemi, so fuc off sinars]]). After giving a [[Costume Porn|long description of herself]], she tries to flirt with him but he ignores her. Because he's incredibly sex-ah, she forgives him and decides that, because he is so hot, she wants to be his boyfriend. Yes, [[Ho Yay|boyfriend]].
The story begins with Joan walking into her English class and suddenly noticing [[Gary Stu|a boy]] named [[Twilight (Literature)|Edward]] (Edwerd, Edwad, Ward, etc.) whom she thinks looks like a god ([[Exact Words|not god God because I luv god and thats blamsphemi, so fuc off sinars]]). After giving a [[Costume Porn|long description of herself]], she tries to flirt with him but he ignores her. Because he's incredibly sex-ah, she forgives him and decides that, because he is so hot, she wants to be his boyfriend. Yes, [[Ho Yay|boyfriend]].


Edward continues to ignore her and she continues to [[Stalker With a Crush|stalk]] [[Stalking Is Love|him]], going so far as to chase him into the school car lot with him screaming at her to go away. While she contemplates the, gasp, horrid thought that maybe he doesn't like her, [[Does This Remind You of Anything|a bus appears out of nowhere and almost hits her]]. To the readers' dismay and [[TV Tropes Wiki Drinking Game|chagrin]], it does not flatten her; instead, a mysterious somebody who she thinks was Edward beacause "there wore amba eyes glisening in the doost!" saves her in the nick of time. She confronts him later and they [[Shallow Love Interest|magically fall in love]].
Edward continues to ignore her and she continues to [[Stalker With a Crush|stalk]] [[Stalking Is Love|him]], going so far as to chase him into the school car lot with him screaming at her to go away. While she contemplates the, gasp, horrid thought that maybe he doesn't like her, [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|a bus appears out of nowhere and almost hits her]]. To the readers' dismay and [[All The Tropes Wiki Drinking Game|chagrin]], it does not flatten her; instead, a mysterious somebody who she thinks was Edward beacause "there wore amba eyes glisening in the doost!" saves her in the nick of time. She confronts him later and they [[Shallow Love Interest|magically fall in love]].


But trouble is on the horizon as it is revealed that Edward is a [[Rouge Angles of Satin|VAMPTRE]]! As a devout [[Rouge Angles of Satin|Chrisnt]], Joan is worried. And that bit of potential conflict is shoved in the closet when Edward says that he is a "christina vampite" and therefore okay for her to date. Yeah.
But trouble is on the horizon as it is revealed that Edward is a [[Rouge Angles of Satin|VAMPTRE]]! As a devout [[Rouge Angles of Satin|Chrisnt]], Joan is worried. And that bit of potential conflict is shoved in the closet when Edward says that he is a "christina vampite" and therefore okay for her to date. Yeah.


The gripping epic follows their twu wuv as Erin encounters the rest of the Cullens, the problem vamtpie Jhams, [[Critical Research Failure|and searches the entire country of]] [[Canada Eh|Canada]] [[You Fail Geography Forever|in twenty minutes]]. ''Damn'', that Volvo is fast.
The gripping epic follows their twu wuv as Erin encounters the rest of the Cullens, the problem vamtpie Jhams, [[Critical Research Failure|and searches the entire country of]] [[Canada, Eh?|Canada]] [[You Fail Geography Forever|in twenty minutes]]. ''Damn'', that Volvo is fast.


Ousted off of fanfiction.net for its spelling, grammar, blatant homophobia and anti-Semitism, and a whole bunch of other atrocities, the fanfic can now be found [http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/ here].
Ousted off of fanfiction.net for its spelling, grammar, blatant homophobia and anti-Semitism, and a whole bunch of other atrocities, the fanfic can now be found [http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/ here].
Line 31: Line 31:
** Erin claims she's literally black because she's a "maury". It's not clear whether she's attempting to say "moor" or "Maori".
** Erin claims she's literally black because she's a "maury". It's not clear whether she's attempting to say "moor" or "Maori".
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]]: Chapter 37 was almost entirely centered on [[Ship Sinking|killing off]] the [[Ho Yay|Brian x Hugo]] fanbase. Also, the revenge chapters, which literally put the critics into the story so they can be killed.
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]]: Chapter 37 was almost entirely centered on [[Ship Sinking|killing off]] the [[Ho Yay|Brian x Hugo]] fanbase. Also, the revenge chapters, which literally put the critics into the story so they can be killed.
* [[Canada Eh]]: The [[Church of Happyology|cultists]] who try to sacrifice Jacob for a satanic ritual live in Canada. [[Pyromaniac|Brian]] also moved from there. It's worth mentioning that Erin seems to think it's a city, not a country:
* [[Canada, Eh?]]: The [[Church of Happyology|cultists]] who try to sacrifice Jacob for a satanic ritual live in Canada. [[Pyromaniac|Brian]] also moved from there. It's worth mentioning that Erin seems to think it's a city, not a country:
{{quote| "Yesterday, " said brian. I moved hear frome Canada. Canada is a batter citey then Forks [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe|thou]]." He told us. }}
{{quote| "Yesterday, " said brian. I moved hear frome Canada. Canada is a batter citey then Forks [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe|thou]]." He told us. }}
* [[Comedic Sociopathy]]: When the Cullens are deciding how to deal with the traitorous Emmett back in Chapter 9, MC/Esme walks in with a batch of cookies.
* [[Comedic Sociopathy]]: When the Cullens are deciding how to deal with the traitorous Emmett back in Chapter 9, MC/Esme walks in with a batch of cookies.
Line 43: Line 43:
* [[Fan Nickname]]: Mr. Smith was nicknamed Hugo [[Actor Allusion|after Hugo Weaving's role]] in ''[[The Matrix]]'' as Agent Smith. Erin doesn't seem to address this.
* [[Fan Nickname]]: Mr. Smith was nicknamed Hugo [[Actor Allusion|after Hugo Weaving's role]] in ''[[The Matrix]]'' as Agent Smith. Erin doesn't seem to address this.
* [[Female Misogynist]]: Author Erin Locklea is this.
* [[Female Misogynist]]: Author Erin Locklea is this.
* [[Fingore]]: In ''[[Spin Off|Edwards Secert]]'', you have to either cut off your own finger [[Bury Your Gays|or die]] in order to [[Cure Your Gays|cure]] homosexuality.
* [[Fingore]]: In ''[[Spin-Off|Edwards Secert]]'', you have to either cut off your own finger [[Bury Your Gays|or die]] in order to [[Cure Your Gays|cure]] homosexuality.
* [[The Fundamentalist]]: Joan. [[Unfortunate Implications|She's supposed to be an "ideal Christian".]]
* [[The Fundamentalist]]: Joan. [[Unfortunate Implications|She's supposed to be an "ideal Christian".]]
* [[Green Eyed Monster]]: Joan, when anyone is around Edward.
* [[Green-Eyed Monster]]: Joan, when anyone is around Edward.
* [[Hate Fic]]: The [[Spin Off]] ''Truelove Fight'' is this to [[Pokémon (Franchise)|Pokémon]].
* [[Hate Fic]]: The [[Spin-Off]] ''Truelove Fight'' is this to [[Pokémon (Franchise)|Pokémon]].
* [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today]]: "I luv u, but no homo k?"
* [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?]]: "I luv u, but no homo k?"
* [[Kill It With Fire]]: [[Pyromaniac|Brian's main strategy]].
* [[Kill It With Fire]]: [[Pyromaniac|Brian's main strategy]].
* [[Love Dodecahedron]]: In case anyone would like to keep track, [http://i38.tinypic.com/dwx7nq.jpg this is what it currently looks like.]
* [[Love Dodecahedron]]: In case anyone would like to keep track, [http://i38.tinypic.com/dwx7nq.jpg this is what it currently looks like.]
Line 53: Line 53:
* [[MST]]: The TwilightSucks forums have [http://www.tsdcv3.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=twilightfics&action=display&thread=1519&page=1 a whole archive of them]. The author herself wrote two [[Revenge Fic]] chapters against the snarkers after reading them, casting them as evil, devil-worshiping vampires.
* [[MST]]: The TwilightSucks forums have [http://www.tsdcv3.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=twilightfics&action=display&thread=1519&page=1 a whole archive of them]. The author herself wrote two [[Revenge Fic]] chapters against the snarkers after reading them, casting them as evil, devil-worshiping vampires.
* [[Murder the Hypotenuse]]: Joan wants to kill Jenny so she can have Edward all to herself. [[Sarcasm Mode|What a great friend Joan is.]]
* [[Murder the Hypotenuse]]: Joan wants to kill Jenny so she can have Edward all to herself. [[Sarcasm Mode|What a great friend Joan is.]]
* [[Neon Sign Hideout]]: What were the "[[The Mafia|Volturi Mafia]]" [[What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made On Drugs|smoking]] when they used the seven wonders of the world to decorate their hideout?
* [[Neon Sign Hideout]]: What were the "[[The Mafia|Volturi Mafia]]" [[What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made On Drugs?|smoking]] when they used the seven wonders of the world to decorate their hideout?
* [[No Sex Allowed]]: Even though Joan clearly wants it.
* [[No Sex Allowed]]: Even though Joan clearly wants it.
* [[Overly Long Name]]: What kind of self-respecting [[Mary Sue]] would Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith be if she didn't have one of these?
* [[Overly Long Name]]: What kind of self-respecting [[Mary Sue]] would Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith be if she didn't have one of these?
Line 59: Line 59:
* [[Revenge Fic]]: Four chapters of ''Brewdening Love'' attack actual internet users (two for the snarkers and two for trolls impersonating her friends), chapter 37 attacks Brian x Hugo shippers, and ''Edwards Secret'' attacks gays in general.
* [[Revenge Fic]]: Four chapters of ''Brewdening Love'' attack actual internet users (two for the snarkers and two for trolls impersonating her friends), chapter 37 attacks Brian x Hugo shippers, and ''Edwards Secret'' attacks gays in general.
* [[Rouge Angles of Satin]]: The whole fic is full of this. Even the title is spelled wrong!
* [[Rouge Angles of Satin]]: The whole fic is full of this. Even the title is spelled wrong!
* [[Self Insert Fic]]: Erin admits in the first chapter that this is what Twilight would be like if she were Bella. She has tried to deny it a few times since, but judging by how many times their names get mixed up...
* [[Self-Insert Fic]]: Erin admits in the first chapter that this is what Twilight would be like if she were Bella. She has tried to deny it a few times since, but judging by how many times their names get mixed up...
* [[Shallow Love Interest]]: Why do Joan and Edward like each other again, other than the whole "hawt" thing?
* [[Shallow Love Interest]]: Why do Joan and Edward like each other again, other than the whole "hawt" thing?
* [[Spin Off]]: There are five of them.
* [[Spin-Off]]: There are five of them.
** ''Twilight World'': A crossover with the Bible, [[Artistic License Religion|except with Twilight characters instead of the real characters]]. Formerly called ''Twilight Bible''.
** ''Twilight World'': A crossover with the Bible, [[Artistic License Religion|except with Twilight characters instead of the real characters]]. Formerly called ''Twilight Bible''.
** ''Bellas Baby'': A one-shot in which Bella is pregnant with James' demon child and has to get an abortion from [[Harry Potter (Literature)|Professor McGonagall]]. Was [[Lost Forever]], can now be found [http://brewdeninglove.freeiz.com/favorites.htm here.]
** ''Bellas Baby'': A one-shot in which Bella is pregnant with James' demon child and has to get an abortion from [[Harry Potter (Literature)|Professor McGonagall]]. Was [[Lost Forever]], can now be found [http://brewdeninglove.freeiz.com/favorites.htm here.]
Line 68: Line 68:
** ''Edwards Secert'': A rightly loathed one-shot where Edward and Jacob [[You Fail Biology Forever|become gay for each other]] and a [[Roaring Rampage of Revenge]] is launched against Jacob when he refuses to [[Fingore|cut off one of his own fingers]] as a means of repentance.
** ''Edwards Secert'': A rightly loathed one-shot where Edward and Jacob [[You Fail Biology Forever|become gay for each other]] and a [[Roaring Rampage of Revenge]] is launched against Jacob when he refuses to [[Fingore|cut off one of his own fingers]] as a means of repentance.
* [[Stalker With a Crush]]: Joan follows Edward around when she first decides that he's "sex-ah". It gets so bad that he has to flee into a parking lot while she's chasing him, which is when she finally gets the idea that he may not like her.
* [[Stalker With a Crush]]: Joan follows Edward around when she first decides that he's "sex-ah". It gets so bad that he has to flee into a parking lot while she's chasing him, which is when she finally gets the idea that he may not like her.
* [[Troll Fic]]: [[Poes Law|It could easily be this.]]
* [[Troll Fic]]: [[Poe's Law|It could easily be this.]]
* [[Would Hit a Girl]]: In chapter 28, [[Memetic Badass|Brian]] [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|punches Joan]], quote: "Because I am the FBI and I can."
* [[Would Hit a Girl]]: In chapter 28, [[Memetic Badass|Brian]] [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|punches Joan]], quote: "Because I am the FBI and I can."
*** A line which has since become an [[Ascended Meme]].
*** A line which has since become an [[Ascended Meme]].

Revision as of 09:41, 8 January 2014

"ok hello everyone I want to let you knwo that I'm the BIGGEST Twilight ever! I've read all the boks and seen da movie -OMFG isn't Cullin HAWT. So hot. ok now iv writon a storie about wut wold happen id I were bella1 Because shes a dirte bithc so i want you to see it and tel moi what you think!! So LOTS OF REVOWS PLZ! lov you God xoxoxoxo"
True love, indeed.


Brewdening Love is an infamous Twilight fanfiction written by Erin Locklea, aka Erin of the Cullen Clan, and is another in the line of My Immortal-esque fanfics. It stars the Mary Sue (specifically, she's a black hole Relationship Sue) Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith and is so filled with spelling errors that it might as well be in cuneiform.

The story begins with Joan walking into her English class and suddenly noticing a boy named Edward (Edwerd, Edwad, Ward, etc.) whom she thinks looks like a god (not god God because I luv god and thats blamsphemi, so fuc off sinars). After giving a long description of herself, she tries to flirt with him but he ignores her. Because he's incredibly sex-ah, she forgives him and decides that, because he is so hot, she wants to be his boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend.

Edward continues to ignore her and she continues to stalk him, going so far as to chase him into the school car lot with him screaming at her to go away. While she contemplates the, gasp, horrid thought that maybe he doesn't like her, a bus appears out of nowhere and almost hits her. To the readers' dismay and chagrin, it does not flatten her; instead, a mysterious somebody who she thinks was Edward beacause "there wore amba eyes glisening in the doost!" saves her in the nick of time. She confronts him later and they magically fall in love.

But trouble is on the horizon as it is revealed that Edward is a VAMPTRE! As a devout Chrisnt, Joan is worried. And that bit of potential conflict is shoved in the closet when Edward says that he is a "christina vampite" and therefore okay for her to date. Yeah.

The gripping epic follows their twu wuv as Erin encounters the rest of the Cullens, the problem vamtpie Jhams, and searches the entire country of Canada in twenty minutes. Damn, that Volvo is fast.

Ousted off of fanfiction.net for its spelling, grammar, blatant homophobia and anti-Semitism, and a whole bunch of other atrocities, the fanfic can now be found here.

Now has an Expanded Universe -- see here.

Brewdening Love contains examples of:

  • Aborted Arc: Some of the chapters start off at completely different places than where the last ones began. This has become more common recently.

 Erin: Blame the ducks hahah!1

  • Abusive Parent: Mr. Smith is an alcoholic.
  • Ascended Extra: Becca, seemingly a background character based on the author's friend, has been given a bigger role in the story.
  • As the Good Book Says: Erin tries to preach every biblical message she can think of and even called the first chapter "Genesis". Unfortunately, this leads to misinterpretation and even to her making up quotes that she uses to bash flamers.
  • Author Tract: A lot of it. If there's something out there that goes against the Bible, Erin will go out of her way to say it's wrong.
  • Back From the Dead: Emmett was killed, then revived... but if he's a vampire, isn't he already dead?
  • Black Best Friend: Becca. Oddly, Erin actually colored her skin the literal color black, not the skin tone, until a later drawing.
    • Erin claims she's literally black because she's a "maury". It's not clear whether she's attempting to say "moor" or "Maori".
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: Chapter 37 was almost entirely centered on killing off the Brian x Hugo fanbase. Also, the revenge chapters, which literally put the critics into the story so they can be killed.
  • Canada, Eh?: The cultists who try to sacrifice Jacob for a satanic ritual live in Canada. Brian also moved from there. It's worth mentioning that Erin seems to think it's a city, not a country:

  "Yesterday, " said brian. I moved hear frome Canada. Canada is a batter citey then Forks thou." He told us.